Dancing and Blogging...I'm baaaack!

Bring some class...with the Classicals!

2011-04-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hello again dear viewers!

Of course I'm excited this week...because my favorite dance of all time is on! I LOVE LOVE the freaking Paso Doble. That dance has now made it on my bucket list. I must dance that dance just once in my life and WELL before I die. Now...to talk Raresh into it.

A big round of applause and humongo props to that violinist! Holy moly was he good or what? And he played the violin well, too! LOL!!! To all you talented musicians out there--I hate you a little.

Now...first out of the gate...
Romeo and Chelsea---Love her but he's annoying. I don't need you to take off your sad little bolero jacket and show me your 12 year old body, okay? You're not quite up there with the Maks's of the world...so just keep your buttonless vest on and just dance. With that said...the music was amazing and the dance was very entertaining. But...what's up with the lifts being allowed now? Did they allow those last season and I missed it? Anyway...it's good.

Kendra and Louis--Viennese Waltz and Mafia theme just do not mix...come on KENDRA...you know about what mixes...like your rum and cokes...and what doesn't ...like you and Hugh Hefner. And no surprise that their dance sucked since their vision was soooo far off base. It really was painful to watch.

Sugary and Anna--LEAVE THE PURPLE LEGGINGS HOME!!! Please! That's all!

Petra and Dmitry--Oh Petra...Petra...Petra...please crawl under one (Petra means rock)----the best part of that dance was when he ripped off her cape at the end---he should have used that cape to cover her up. She looked ridiculous with those hands on her boney little hips. Not so good...how could they say she was on a roll? Am I the only one that thought that sucked? She ruined my paso!

Oh no...oh no...oh no...okay...I wasn't recording and got a call...and paused and well...long story short---I missed some things. I tuned back in to when Ralph and Karina got their scores ---grrrrr I think I just missed Ralph...darn--it's cool, I'll catch it tomorrow during the famous 4 hour recap.

Hines and Kym--What's up with Kym's face? It's looking weirder than ever! However...they rocked the dance floor. It was soooo good. I'm not sure if it was the violinist again or the freaking flames, or what...but I loved their dance! LOVED IT.

Chelsea and Mark---That was wonderful. I feel like this episode of DWTS was a So You Think You Can Dance episode. So creative. I think Len was just a tad bit over dramatic. Yeah, I know...Len? Dramatic?NEVER!. Is it sad that I had no idea that was Harry Potter theme music until they had to explain it to me. How old am I? Seriously.

Cheryl and Chris--Wait...hold up...Dwyane The ROCK Johnson was a wrestler? Huh?---Man...I guess I've been living under a "rock"---heh heh. Did I know that? As for their dance...He was arrogant but not nearly as powerful as I wanted him to be. What a waste. I agreed with Len...no power.

My Maksy and the luckiest woman alive--Kirstie--I love how she's the one with "hip pain and injury" this week. You had it coming! Kidding. Please let the poor couple forget the fall her around the world. Bear with me...the next thoughts are all over the place but must be mentioned.
When my girl...said, "you're handsome, you're a good dancer, you're every girls dream"--I swear I yelled AMEN SISTA!!! She hit the nail on the head. Now...if you still don't know why I love Maks...(you're nuts) but I'll tell you---He's handsome, he's a good dancer, he's every girls dream AND he lifted Kirstie up like a delicate flower. Damn he's strong!
Okay...after the lift...what the heck...her heel got caught in the dress or her shoe came off...I was DYING! Then she stops turning and Maks is still turning...aye yay yay...those two just can't catch a break! Can I just kiss Maks already! Sheesh! I'll add that to my bucket list. Now I just need to get Raresh on board with that one, too! LOL.

Okay folks...well...I guess that about covers it.

Until next week...keep dancing!
Len-da

Not sure what season we're in...or how long I'll last..

2011-04-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

BUT for the time being--I am watching DWTS. Not because it's a good season, or because I even really care about this show anymore---but because of 3 things---My mom watches and asks me my opinion all the time, my kids have finally given in to my bedtime routine and finally---THERE IS NOTHING on TV anymore.

Before we move on I would just like to say that I'm sad to see that Edyta is really gone. I'll miss her accent IMMENSELY!

So...with that out of the way and since my attention span for this show is super small--I'll get right to it. This week is all about personal stories. This should be good.

Wendy Williams--She's a man, right? It's ABC's version of bringing a new angle to the show. We've had a deaf person, an amputee, an astronaut, a few really old folks, some gay people and now this is their first cross dresser...right? Well...HE won't be on long. But poor Tony...always stuck with the ...um..."interesting" contestants.

Chelsea and Mark--They were okay. I guess. I HAVE NO CLUE...NONE...who she is. How freaking old am I? I swear, I turned 30 last summer and somehow..aged about a zillion years since then! Sheesh.

Chris and Cheryl--They did a great job and I always feel so bad for those who have lost a loved one. Who is that kid in the audience with hair big enough to keep us all warm that they kept showing after Chris's performance? Oh and I would be remiss if I didn't mention this quick thing about Bruno saying Chris's dancing was naked...yeah I bet you'd like that! Same old Bruno.

Kendra and Louie--That smoke machine completely engulfed her! I couldn't stop laughing. She freaking disappeared before our very eyes! No wonder she was stumbling all over the place as though she was back partying at the mansion. I missed the rest of the dance because I was laughing so hard. I guess--based on the judges and the scores-- it was pretty good. I didn't rewind...I wasn't that interested. Her little son is a total doll. Not quite as cute as my little guy...but cute. See...judge for yourself.

See...told ya. Anyway...

Chelsea and Romeo--No comment. I really can't think of anything worth typing.

Hines and Kym--Another contestant that I don't have much to say about. Sorry...

Petra and Dmitry---Carrie Ann IS definitely in a good mood. She didn't mention anything about the lift. Good...the dance was lovely and we don't need her poo pooing all over the place.

Sugary and Anna- (yeah that's right I'll call him Sugary)---He looked like a total fool. That face he was making was killing me. You really can't make a serious, angry face? Sheesh...that's pretty pathetic for a boxer. I'm surprised Anna didn't bust up laughing at that ridiculous scowl he had on his face. And as for the reference Bruno was making...and Carrie Ann was insinuating about...yes...those pants...were a little REVEALING...he had to hold the boxing glove in a very precise location while chatting with Brooke.

My sweet Maks and Kirstie--I..of course...was a little angry at the pairing up...BUT now that I've watched them...I think I like the bond they have. Now...let's talk about that tragic "thigh cramp"---oh man....Sorry Maksy but no woman with some extra meat on her bones is going to believe that it had nothing to do with her. I hate that I'm like this...but you know Kirstie feels that she's to blame and although I did rewind a zillion times...and it does appear to be Maks's fault...I can't help but think she did have a little something to do with it. I would like to remind all of America, that my sweet Maks was in a horrible ski accident years ago and he has like 2 or 4 metal rods in his leg. So...cut my poor baby some slack! They did recover very well. I would have crumbled and just walked off stage. No wait... I would have insisted Maks take his pants off immediately...(to check the wound, of course). I think we all know that he won't get the mirror ball this year...but I'll enjoy his moves while I can.

Ralph and Karrrrina--Karrrina has had botox right? She looks horrible. Worse than before. Oh and was Ralph Maccio even legal on his wedding day? Didn't think you can get married when you're 12. My goodness! BUT YAY for 24 years of marriage! So rare these days and I love hearing those stories. As for the judges...leave him alone. He's in love with his wife...not Botoxina...okay? Idiots!

One final question for the fans still watching. Who are these so called Dance Troop people?? Are they planning on phasing out our favorite pros? Hope not.

Guess that's it for tonight...
Keep Dancing.

Len-da

The results---SHOCKER!!!

2010-05-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

Okay--let me start off by saying---WHAT THE HECK WAS THE PURPOSE OF A THREE HOUR FINALE???!!! My goodness! I fell asleep. Literally. That is why this review was not in your inbox first thing this morning.

Why replay last nights episode from 8pm-9pm? Why make the 3 finalists dance a dance they have already danced before from 9pm to 10pm? Why bring back those losers to dance again?? Sheesh...I'm falling asleep again just thinking about how ridiculous and drawn out this 3 hour dealio was!

With that rant out of the way---let's move to the intro---I was so annoyed with Kate walking while the rest were dancing. Good grief woman! Lie and tell the people you've been injured at least so that you don't annoy America!! I mean heck, 85 claimed he got hurt--when we all know he's just bitter that he wasn't in the finals!

Next up was the return of the losers of the season. I swear, if I heard one more time that the former contestants were coming back with brand new routines ONE MORE TIME--- I was going to die. Had they specified the dance was only going to be a whopping 2 seconds long---I might not have been so annoyed. I would hardly call a 2 second hip shaking a "brand new routine"

Shannen and Mark--She obviously did not have time to work on her 2 second routine in all the 10 weeks that have passed cause she looked uncertain.

Aiden's cartwheel and splits had me rolling on the floor- PA-THE-TIC!

Buzz--I get it---you're an astronaut, you walked on the moon---sheesh is that all you've ever done in your entire 120 years of living?

Jake and Vienna--Was it really necessary to have them dance to "On the Wings of Love"? Also, I was extremely bummed he didn't eat it like he did every episode, but I guess when you're in the arms of your love---you feel secure and confident (bleh)--I'm sure they put her in the routine to play tricks on our eyes--I found I was watching her more than him and so he might have fallen and I missed it! Sneaky ABC!

Then my baby got eliminated---and of course he didn't cry ERIN! He's just not that in to you!---Heard of the book? READ IT! Oh and more thing about Maksy--he's hot when he's competing and even HOTTER when he dances for the fun of it.

Next up was the Kate segment---YES---I said segment because not one other loser got that much air time. WHY THE HECK DID SHE? She is the worst dancer EVER---EVER---and yet we had to listen to her plug her 2 shows (which I vow not to watch---more than once)--we had to see their back story again, their fight, their rehearsal where all she wanted was difficult moves and then told Tony that she doesn't like that move!, the "I heart you Tony", then that HORRID HORRID papparazi dance which didn't improve a bit, and finally we got the I will survive montage with her face in the camera being air lifted out of the building. Oh please ABC---keep that woman up there forever! Jimmy Fallon should have come back to dance in her place. Now that would have been good.

Pam and Damien---Holy moly---when did the ballroom become a strip joint. Ewwwww dirty. And yeah Bruno, she embraced the character well---we get it.

Niecy and Louie- "I don't think you're ready for this jelly"---TYPICAL! Let's get one more big girl comment out this season---PREDICTABLE!

85 was injured so I was spared from that love fest and more bling bling---thank you very much.

45 mintues of more filler
Then the big reveal of the winner---SHOCKER!!!! Stop crying before the annoucement is made NICRYBABY! I swear she had an accent for the first time ever all season. What was that about?

And poor Evan---as polite and sweet as pie!

So folks---that wraps up season 10 of Dancing with the Stars! This season was by far one of the best as far as characters---very excited to see what's coming next season.

I know Julianne is coming back and I'm praying Charo is one of the stars. I also know a few ladies that really want Rick Fox to join the cast. We'll find out before we know it.

Until next time...
Keep Dancing.

Len-da Isa-ba

The FINALS!!

2010-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

First off...HOLY HAIR Brooke. Yikes...not a good look for you honey!

Okay now that I got that major thing out of the way---let's begin.

A few general thoughts...
I was thrilled to see the show was only 1 hour.
I was not so thrilled to hear that the contestants dance 2 more dances each tomorrow. THE FREESTYLE is always the last dance---not happy about that change.
I also need to comment that of all the Freestyle dances in the 10 seasons---this year was the WEAKEST! I was not impressed by any of them. (more on that later)

First up--
My baby Maks and the luckiest woman on television---Erin-
I'm sure Maks was DYING when Bruno--a mere music video choreographer was giving him pointers on what to improve. He has zero skills in Ball Room Dancing! If Maks needs someone to teach him to flutter around stage like a fairy---he'll call you--OTHERWISE...shut it! As for their dance---I'm shocked---SHOCKED she got 2 10's. I did not think that particular dance deserved a 10--but hey---I'll take it.

Evanna-It was good---but I wasn't too terribly impressed. Maybe, I was only interested in seeing the Free styles--cause the do over dances were just whatever! I'm shocked that Erin got 2 10's and Evan got 1.---Crazy judges

Nicole and Derek-
FOR THE RECORD---that Rumba was amazing. It makes me mad to see how good they are. And that lift at the end...WOW. It was phenomenal. Erin would never be able to pull that move off. EVER! I was busting up when Derek claimed the lift happened at the end of the dance (after the music stopped) ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Although, that was one heck of a move---she was off the ground for like a good solid 10 minutes while the song played. Tsk tsk tsk...I'm glad Carrie Ann busted him on that move because I thought for sure she'd over look it. Hey..we need to be consistent with everyone, right?

Free Style time-
Erin and Maks-
Hmmmm---lyrical?...that is a brave choice indeed---I'm not sure it's entirely fair that someone else choreographed their dance. Uh hello???? That's the pro's job. But aside from that---holy moly---heart racing. I won't say much (since this blog will remain G-rated) other than...I thoroughly enjoyed that little number! Yes, indeed. Oh and Maks---if your nose is broken, That fool from the Suns, Nash, can fix it for you. Did anyone else see his nose break and him break it back into place like 6 times during the game on Sunday??? eeks.

Evanna-
ooo boy...not on the same page...cracking under pressure. Not a good sign. I had a flashback to Mya and Dmitry last season. I was happy to see that she also resorted to "cheating" and brought in another choreographer to help. Still though...I'm sure Derek won't need the assistance. The judges sure didn't like that! I felt so bad for them.

Derek and Nicole-
Looks like your neck is all better you LIAR! I expected a lot more for their freestyle. I know it covered a lot of ground but still...it was all over the place. And then the big mess up at the end...such a shame.

So folks...for the finals---I wasn't too impressed, in fact, DISAPPOINTED would be a better word. They should have cut out the other 2 dances for tonight and really focused on making the Free Styles the best in history!

Also, I'm super super excited for the finale tonight because all the characters will be back and I'm sure I'll have enough material to really end this seasons' reviews on a high note. Stay tuned for tomorrow's email. I will be blogging on tonight's episode for sure. I can already predict, I'll fall asleep during Buzz, shout angrily during Kate's, and that I'll bust up laughing during Jake's---(he'll fall, of course)

As for who wins it...
I pray it's Evan over Nicole.
As much as I love Maks...I really think it's a long shot.

Until next time...
Keep Dancing...
Len-da Isa-ba

A little late in watching and in posting..

2010-05-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

Okay folks...so here's the deal. I didn't watch it last night..---just saw it this morning and so I fear that my lack of votes for Maks might have hurt him a bit---we'll see soon enough.

I knew I was in for a treat when I got a text last night from a friend that said, "What the heck is your boy, Maks, wearing?"---I figured Maksy must be in the buff...so of course I was excited to see what all the talk was about. Much to my dissapointment--it wasn't any different than any other week.

Now...let's move right into it.

Maks and Erin-
I LOVED when he said, "God willing---we'll be here next week!" Oh...I hope he's a Christian! LOL---My Maks has to win this season. He was robbed before and it's his time!!! I loved their V-Waltz...loved it. It gave me chills...the music, movement...a big MUAH! xoxoxoxo to my boy! I have never wanted to be Tom Bergeron as much as I do when Maks gives him his resident pinch. STUPID BRUNO needs to calm down and not get their hopes up in showing a 10 and giving a 9. GRRRRRRR Erin's second dance...hmm---the little segments about each of their pasts... well well well...Erin has dance experience, too? Oh dear! No fair!!! And for someone who had some dance experience...I'm pretty disappointed in how she's doing. It's never quite enough. BUT..the one thing I have to say is Maks + Paso= HOT!

Nicole and Derek-
Of course Derek would be injured during the semi-final rehearsal weeks so that we can pity him and his cry baby partner...Oh PAHLEASE!!! Be a man. Stick some Icy Hot patches on there and get over it! All this pity pity ---OH JUST FORFEIT!!!! With that plea to forfeit...I must admit, they are DARN GOOD. That Argentianian Tango was just amazing! I will also state for the record that I don't believe Derek was ever really injured this week. There is no way he could have recovered that quickly. I'm sure it was all a ploy to get the votes. That and "claiming" it was his birthday. Oh and Carrie Ann---moved to tears...Oh brother...pukefest! Then she gets Nicrybaby started...double pukefest and then Derek starts crying...triple PUKEFEST. Nicole's second dance...MADE ME SOOOO ANGRY! I can't believe she got 2 10's for literally doing a typical dance routine from the Pussy Cat Doll videos. SERIOUSLY---youtube any one of their videos and you will see what you saw for her "solo"---NOT TEN worthy! AT ALL.

Cheryl and 85-
I noticed we had 2 BBall players in the audience...Mr. Rick "the Fox" Fox and Kareem. It's only a matter of time before I get my wish and have a basketball player on there! MICHAEL JORDAN---please!!! Yeah the dance was better but I'm a tad annoyed with the latest scam 85 is pulling. He's literally begging the public for votes by claiming if he gets 1 million followers on his Twitter account he'll give each new person some obscene amount of money. I'm not sure how true that is...but I was disgusted! If he stays tonight...it's because he went to those extremes! BLAH! I don't care how difficult your past was---if you can afford those jewels...you're doing just fine!

Evanna-
Yes, Evan...it's time you show the world your personality---I've been asking for this for soooo long! The dance was entertaining and as I said before, if Maks is out...EVAN is in. The most entertaining of that whole segment was when Bruno said he was as high as a kite, and Tom corrected him and said, "You haven't seen someone that high since you last looked in the mirror!" SO SO SO TRUE! His second dance...LOVED it. I'm glad he got his 30! And Bruno..."Evan, you've got BALLS!" Thanks Captain Obvious!

All in all...the night was good. I think Maks and 85 are gonna be on the chopping block and I'm sooo worried Maks might go home. Oh well...if it is his time..it's his time. Did you all catch that Vienna will be dancing with Jake??? Oh brother...I'm sorry but cut the show down to 1 hr and let's wrap this puppy up! Leave out the Jakes, the Kates, and the others and give us the TROPHY!!

Until next time...
Keep Dancing..

Len-da

We're down to 5 couples and back to 2 hours...YIKES

2010-05-11T07:36:00.001-07:00

Hello friends,
By my blog entry title alone you can tell that I'm beyond annoyed that with so few couples we needed a 2 hour show. They could have easily cut that sucker down to 1 hour. I know they had to dance 2 different dances but the commercials and RECAPS alone were like 45 minutes worth. GOOD GRIEF. I'm pregnant...TIRED...and just need to get down to the meat of the episode already.

So without any further delay...let's get right to it.

Of course the first 3 things I noticed were:
1. Brooke's dress was AWESOME! Probably would not have looked like that on any other gal.
2. Lenny boy wore that same number a few shows back...he's getting senile
3. My MAKS looked amazing all beard free---I missed his pretty little face.

I also noticed that he and Erin looked a tad peeved at one another during the panning of the contestants---I guess we'll wait and see what "drama" they endured during rehearsal.

Let's get right to the couples and both dances with be discussed in one shot--see ABC...it is possible to condense things!

The couples-
1. 85 & Cheryl-
Personally, I prefer when he's quiet...so Cheryl...please stop inquiring what is wrong and why he's so quiet. I'm over them! He was not happy with his 21's---which of course brought a smile to my face. Their second dance the JIVE---whoa Cheryl...what happened to the "No dancer left behind" campaign? Cause you left that fool in the dust and out danced him beyond measure. Once again...I saw fire in 85's eyes at the scores. Cue Linda's gigantic grin!

2. Niecy & Louie-
Okay we get it...you have a busy life...oh you poor baby with your 3 or 4 jobs...I know quite a few people who would be happy with one job these days...so suck it up or turn some offers down. Could the reason you're so stinking exhausted have anything to do with the fact that you eye lids weigh about 25 pounds each! SHEESH. Bruno was right...she had wild arms...WILD arms...I think 85 blew a gasket when he saw her scores were better! Her second dance...I have 2 things to say...Louie is one strong MoFo and Niecy's boobs are GYNORMOUS! Holy Kazow Batman...this is a family show!

3.Maks & Erin-
Oh give it a rest already ERIN!.."I'm so scared! I'm so scared!...I just can't trust Maks, I just can't jump into his big strapping arms with my 100 lb waif body!" Cue barffest NOW! I think he can handle your skinny and bossy butt, OKAY?! I loved their dance. I loved that lift she was sooo terrified of and I'm glad they got a 10. There should have been a few more given out by the other two crabby judges. One thing I want to know is...who is that chick they always show from the audience after she dances? Is our dear Erin Lebanese? Their second dance...HOLY MOLY PANTS UP TO YOUR NECK! I know you were trying to show us you were wearing loafers without socks...but geez louise...when your pants reach the bottom of your V-neck shirt...that is just too darn much. EVEN for my Maks. Also, as far as the dance is concerned--I have to admit I literally said, "Darn you Erin...why can't you be a better dancer!" She has potential but she's just not as good as that darn Nicole.

4. Evanna-
Those 2 are quite enjoyable and if you all remember Anna used to be quite the little witch---I'm happy to see how nice she can be. I also remember back at the beginning of the season, the judges kept telling the two of them to get more chemistry---well guess what...that chemistry is getting a little uncomfortable. That "ride" Evan gave her on the ice...uh...hello...married woman...I'm not digging that! AT ALL. And I think your precious Jonathon would have an issue, too. Their second dance was AWESOME. So entertaining...so creative...so robbed of some 10's. They are the only ones in my opinion that took the dance and added the time period they were supposed to. It really chaps my hide to see them get 3 nine's and see that darn favorite Nicole get 10's!

5. Nicrybaby and Demostannoying-
Okay...I'll give it to you...Derek is a great choreographer...but that still doesn't change the fact that he annoys me! Do you know who annoys me more? Nicrybaby! The whole, "I challenge anyone who says this comes natural to me to come to our rehearsals" speech made my blood boil. Oh stop it. JUST STOP IT! For someone to sit there and lie is just infuriating. If she really didn't have an advantage then why is she a part of the choreography? Hmmm? Someone with no experience does not have that to contribute to the partnership---so give it up. We all heard you say that you're happy that Derek appreciates your creativity and ideas regarding the dance choreography. BAM--BUSTED! This chick has literally cried in every episode! I new she would get all 10's I just new it!

So folks...there you have it.

I think it's time for 85 or Niecy to go. My picks for the final 3 are Erin, Evan, and Nicole. I think it should come down to Nicole or Evan...cause that Erin...just can't compete with those 2.

Until next week's 4 hour episode...
Keep Dancing..
Len-da Isa-ba

All my characters are gone...the blog will suffer!

2010-05-04T07:45:00.001-07:00

Hey folks...it's a sad day in my DWTS blogging world. BAM--just like that 2 of the most ridiculous characters are gone--back to back...POOF! Oh man...my material will surely suffer.

So I'll make this quick---since I barely stayed awake for it.

Intro---
1. Holy moly Brooke---are we going clubbing? or are we the host of a BALLROOM dance show? That dress was a little too clubbish for me.
2. Looks like Derek has decided to take over as resident nerd on the show, since Jake's departure, of course. He is so freaking annoying.
3. 85---please don't ever wear that outfit again. EGADS the man in white!
4. Did you all notice Maks mouth, "Hi Linda"---okay so maybe it was "Hi Sarah"---actually no...I think it was Hi Linda...it's the accent that threw it off.

Dancing---
1. Maks and Erin-
All that business and fake fighting about Maks wanting to take his pants off in the dance---was such a load of BS. I knew he wouldn't do it. Yes, technically, he did take his pants off but who was he kidding. We know he pushes the limit and has attitude but he won't mess with the judges that much and ruin his chances. I love my Maks and I'm glad that I at least have him left on the show, but the whole fake drama and fights during rehearsal are getting a bit old...even for me. My favorite part of the rehearsal segment had to be when Erin was laying on her side as if posing for Sports Illustrated---oh brother...what the heck is that girl doing? Baiting another stalker..that's what! I was happy their scores went up and even caught Maks tell Erin...after Len praised their work --"he'll give us an 8"--I'm such a good lip reader!
All in all...happy they improved. I also loved when Len told Bruno that he looks like he's going to a funeral with fairy lights. HYSTERICAL!
Oh and every time Maksy pinches Tom---just know it's meant for me!

2. 85 and Cheryl-
Oh dear...if you need 2 pros to get you in dancing shape...you don't belong here! I'm sorry Cheryl...I'm ready for you to leave even if you are the birthday girl. Please...if we keep her on any longer she'll be weighted down by all that crazy jewelry 85 is throwing her way! No more BLING for you missy! He's just so annoying. That voice of his is...Mike Tyson meets some other dude. Its' got that squeaky high pitch thing going on and I don't like it!

3. Nicole and Derek-
Easy turbos...way to get the emotional side of me with her cute little Aunt that had Down Syndrome. How dare they mess with a preggo and her hormones! Anyway..about Nicole...seriously folks...is it really that cold in that rehearsal room? What's up with that gigantic scarf she was wearing while dancing. My goodness. I could barely see her face. I'm just a little sick of her, too. She's such a baby! Oh and...Carrie Ann...I think you tell someone every season they are the best dancer ever. Hard to take you seriously when you say it this time.

4. Pamian-
Oh boy...not the animal activist bit again. Been there done that. I have one positive thing to say about Pamian this week. I am extremely happy to see that their rehearsal time is authentic. They don't "argue"---make up drama. They just work. Of course Pam ends up ruining it by trying to be something she's not...like Ms. Innocent...but at least the rehearsal time is tolerable.

Quick note---did you all catch that Train will be performing at the results show this week. I laughed out loud. I'm a huge fan of Train and I found it amusing that they will be performing because if you recall, it was their latest hit---Soul Sister--that was utterly butchered on the show a few weeks back. My windows shattered and all. I'm sure when they heard that...they insisted on coming on and showing America--how it's supposed to sound.

5. Niecy and Louie-
She's not funny anymore. Maybe I'm bored...maybe I'm tired...but I'm sick of the food jokes, the fat jokes, and the eyelashes of course! The dance was okay but that ending...YIKES. And Carrie Ann---ease up with the weight digs. This week it was, "Niecy, you're impressively light on your feet." I said it last time...Niecy asked for it. And now Len...when he said that Louie can help lift her chest---Uh hello Lenny--were you asleep the week Louie came out of the closet?

6. Evanna-
AWESOME! WOO HOO!!! What a way to come back and show those judges you are the man to beat this season! He officially has my vote after Maks gets booted out!

Now on to the team dances--
Team Gaga
I was thrilled to see that my 2 favorite couples, Maks/Erin and Evanna were not on the same team as Nicole and 85. HOWEVER--I knew having Niecy on their team would hurt them. I love how 85 was concerned that his fate lies in the hands of others...like he's sooooo good, Please...you could be the one to ruin it for the group! Pam's splits were awful---I'm pretty sure I can do better. All in all...dance was good. Now...if you notice..earlier in the blog, I commented on Cheryl being weighed down by the additional bling from 85. Well...once again I'm proven correct. Did you all catch her near fall. Oh how I thoroughly enjoyed that! Too bad she didn't hit ground.

Team Madonna
Hold on a minute...Niecy can do the splits? Whoa baby! As for the pulling off the skirts business. Oh boy...if I were Niecy I would have insisted that part be left out. Good grief.

Well, that's about it for this week...

I'm thinking Pam goes home...but I want 85 out first!

Until next week...
Keep Dancing...
Len-da Isa-ba

3 minutes of dance makes it a marathon??? My kind of marathon!

2010-04-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hey friends...let's jump right into it this week--because the time is short and there is much to say.

As always--General Observations and Intro first.
1. Nice to see that Brooke finally has a long dress on. True, she can pull off anything...including a trash bag---but needless to say, I think she got my message.
2. My boy Maks finally decided it was time to look at the camera and not only that but give ME a little signal. Now America can finally know he's mine...ALL MINE.
3. It was so lovely to not have to see EYE HEART YOU from Kate this week. Good riddance! I'm sick of your unnecessary drama and tears (although we have a new resident cry baby---Nicole---more on her later.)
4. And the new winner of most annoying camera span moment...is PAM. She irritates me beyond belief with those stupid looks she gives.
5. Finally---HOLY MOLY---a hurricane must have roared through the set and blown off all the buttons on the men's shirts!!! What the heck was going on last night?!? My first thought was...well naturally--the rest of the group feel confident in bringing their chests out to play when Maks is all covered up in tux (but since we all know how it ends up for Maks...I'll just stop there!) Still...those buttonless shirts are just weird.

Now on to the dancing...
1. Jake and Chelsea-
Quick note...Chelsea is rumored to be dating DWTS very own Mark Ballas. Not sure I saw that coming...but hey...go for it.--Now about Jake---Golly Gee---Pavelka
The moment they announced Jake was first I said (out loud and to myself since the hubby was working) "Five bucks he falls"--Let's just say...I should have bet more! A quick aside...for those of you who know me...you can all attest that there are 3 things in life that are sure to get me to bust out loud laughing. (Close friends...this is the part you list them out loud before I give the answer)--Got your 3? Good. For the rest of you, they are:

1. When people fall (old, young---doesn't matter...I laugh EVERY TIME)
2. When kids fight (over toys, over stuff--doesn't matter--it cracks me up)
3. When we have any sort of clothing malfunction (a zipper open, a skirt tucked in pantyhose...doesn't matter---I'll laugh for just about anything of that sort)

Now for the record, I'm not proud of myself for laughing at any of the said things...but it's the truth and well...I had to say it. Now, knowing that...you can understand why I must have Jake stay on longer! I get a sure laugh every time he dances! EVERY TIME! America...do your part and give a preggo woman a good laugh...Vote for buttershoes... oh and one last thing...how that fool manages to get three 7's when he falls every time is beyond me. A fall is hardly worth a 21.

2. Evanna-
Please please please take that beanie off when you rehearse. I'm sweating just watching you. AND HOLY FREAKING MOLY what the heck was Anna thinking trying to back flip him? He's twice her height... My goodness, I swore that guy broke his neck. I cringed and grunted at the constant replay of the darn fiasco. That injury alone deserved some great scores for the judges this week. Sadly, those horrible excuses for human beings showed no mercy to our little cripple. I can agree just a tad that his samba was a bit balletic...but still, he was much better than Jake---because he---with a concussion and everything...still managed to do the whole dance...WITHOUT FALLING!!! Horrible, inconsistent judges. HORRIBLE! Glad he was okay. uggh still thinking about that crash landing and cringing as I type.

3. Niecy and Louie-
A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G!!!!! I'm over her and her type of comedy. I get that you're trying to be the funny "fat" chick...but it's not working for you. She strikes me as the type of girl that can make fun of her weight day and night and then the minute one person makes a comment back to her---watch out the claws (not the ones on her eyes---I know it gets confusing) come out and strike. I would hardly call that dance comedic...in fact, I agreed with Carrie Ann (for once last night---that she didn't need to include that). A few more notes about the reactions and comments from Louie and the judges regarding the cookie bit at the end. Did Louie actually say as he stuffed his face with food...that "now I know what she feels like." HUH??? Are you implying that Niecy does that? Tsk tsk tsk...that was uncool...however going back to my first comments...when you constantly make fun of yourself for loving food---you open up that gate that says, "I give the rest of the world permission to make comments about my weight!" Don't believe me? Well, then...let's take a look at what Lenny boy said to her, "It's obvious you're an enthusiastic eater!" --Translated that means--"Hey you fatty--it's obvious you can't stop eating based on your size and weight!" Oooo boy...she'll regret opening up that bag of chips...(I had to use a food example...I just had to.)

4. Maks and Erin--
Maks my dear, lucky for you...I've been interested in opening up an institution--you can be my first and only patient. I will nurse you back to health (and that's not a literal comment about nursing...don't go there folks). Now about the dance---I must admit, although, I loved the strip tease...I just knew Len would have a cow. I knew it! What I didn't know...was that Maks would get so snippity with him. Threw his shirt at him? (well...whatever was left of it)--then interrupts Len to point out that the audience loved it! Easy honey...we need those judges whether you think so or not. I have to admit...although my vote is always and forever for MAKS...I'm not terribly impressed by them. Don't get me wrong, they are one of the better couples...but I'm still waiting for that DANCE that will take my breath away. And Erin...please just shut up and do what Maks says, okay? Until they give me that amazing dance...I'll just have to settle for Maksy taking my breath away!

5. 85 and Cheryl-
This is normally the part where I hit the mute button and catch up on my much needed nap---I'm so over them, that I really can't even say that I watched their segment. I did hear Cheryl tell him to man handle her...oh brother...after that comment I secretly wished they would get all tangled up together and fall...HARD. But...their dance was one of the better Tango's of the night. But who really knows... I was washing dishes during their part.

6. Nicole and Derek-
waaaa waaaa waaaa---she's either crying..or whining or making up something to be dramatic about. I'm so done with her---and with that Captain Stubbing jacket she was sporting. Steve must have let her borrow it. (sorry folks...that joke is strictly for Cerritos College readers). Len, did manage to get back into my good graces when he brought Nicole back down a few notches. However, I fear she might cry because of this!!! Oh and another sure bet on DWTS is that Brooke will mention her hay day on the show during the aquarium segment...and ching ching ching...I win again!

7. Pamien-
I noticed that our little vixen is not as annoying in rehearsal as she is on performance night. I wish she'd just be herself and stop trying to be funny with the sexual innuendos...it's so cliche! "I prefer to be on top!"---okay okay...we can all watch your numerous scandalous videos if we want to know those kinds of details about you. Just shut it and dance. Her dance was okay--some good parts some bad.

THE SWING DANCE MARATHON---sheesh...3 minutes and all of a sudden we call it a marathon. I loved how Jake (who was soooo quick to say, "Golly gee, I didn't even give that lift my full power!") was the first to be tapped out of the competition! HYSTERICAL. But had the judges given him a little more time on the floor...we would have seen a fall...I'm sure. Darn it...robbed of a good laugh! Who else could have bet money Nicole would be the winner...so predictable!

Well folks..the prediction for me for tonight is:
Bottom 3--Jake, 85, and Niecy
Hoping 85 or Niecy go first!

Until next week...
Keep Dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba

Week 5---Movie Night

2010-04-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hey folks...
How thrilled was I that instead of finding filler for 2 whole hours--ABC got smart and just made it a 90 minute show. Good call. The show was jam packed with critiquing goodness...so let me get right to it.

Have I mentioned how much I'm loving this season? I truly am. The cast of characters they've got is a blogger's dream.

Some general comments on the Intro-
1. Does Brooke Burke ever wear a long gown?--Yeah she's got good legs...but it's a little strange to me that they don't dress her in the long formal gowns like they did Samantha. I guess it's truly out with the old and in with the new. Samantha who? is what I say.
2. Len's shirt was awful.
3. Our resident bad boy and Mr. causes Len-da's heart to pitter patter was once again too good to look at the camera. I love that! He's just too darn busy and too darn important to look America in the eyes. You go...Maksy...it works for you.
4. Seriously Kate...is it necessary to do the whole point to my EYE ---heart---you-- to the camera when your entire gaggle of kids is sitting in the audience??? I didn't actually see them---I think she's legally bound not to have them on camera now a days...but I know they were in town with her this week.

Next up...the Dancing...or walking in some people's cases.

1. Niecy and Louie-Okay...I'll give it to Niecy---she had some funny lines last night--BUT I'm still sticking to my guns and saying...It's time for her to retire those horrendous eyelashes and sit out the rest of the season. She's too much. Too much eyelash...too much boob...too much loudness...TOO TOO MUCH. When she mentioned how she wears herself out...all I could think was---you wear yourself out? Shoot...you wear us all out! I did notice that she made a very big deal about not being able to fit in between Louie's legs and well...yeah that's true and funny---but notice how when the actual dance came on---they had reversed the role and had Louie go in between her legs. HYSTERICAL. I must admit I'm totally with Len on this one. There was a lot of bazooka shaking but not enough hopping around. Louie was literally prancing all over the place and she looked like she was being weighed down. It must be those darn eyelashes again.--I felt the scores were fair. Her days are numbered folks...yes they are.

2. 85 and Cheryl---Okay seriously is anyone else over him and his love proclamations to Cheryl? Quite frankly I never found it amusing but now it's just total overkill. If he would just cut all that out--I'm sure I'd like him. He's not a horrible dancer, he has some good moves and can keep rhythm but that whole "kiss me Cheryl, I love you Cheryl, here's a ring Cheryl" is really annoying--even to Cheryl---She didn't look amused at all last night. He can go too...and he just might.

3. Maks and Erin-"The whole week according to Maks"---AS IT SHOULD BE! Even though, the world knows my feelings for the guy--I have to be true to the blog and say--the love quarrels during rehearsal look a tad rehearsed and made up to me. Come on...it's just a little hard to believe. There...I said it...now I can move on to the dance. I wish I could say it was UMA-lievable---but it was just good. I think the scores could have been a tad higher but all in all, I think it was fair. I was very worried about using that menu at the beginning as a prop---when will these dancers learn that Lenny boy just ain't digging the prop business. Did you all notice that last night Maks made history? It was the first time I ever saw him with his shirt buttoned?!?! Not the kind of history I need him to make--but whatever. Oh and did I catch a little kissy kissy at the end before we broke for commercial between MY Maks and Erin??--well now... that little kissy kissy...made me very pissy pissy!---Watch it missy missy-the claws are out!!!

4. Jake and Chelsie---boy oh boy...have I got a lot to say on this one...bear with me. First, I think it's important that I mention that today on my way in to work...(at the crack of stinking dawn) he was being interviewed by MYFM (104.3) and I just caught the tail end of it--but one of the questions asked was, "Are you now more comfortable in front of the camera?" And his response was, "Well, yeah but I think that also has to do with the fact that I was a child actor!!!" Apparently, he appeared on like 2 episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger --for all you Chuck Norris fans out there--as little Chuck Norris in his flashbacks. Then he added that he changed his career to flying planes (a likely story) because acting is really hard and he can make a lot more money being a pilot! OH PAHLEESE!!! Give up the charade...we all know you aren't a pilot---cause if you were really making so much money doing that...you wouldn't have taken more than a year off to pursue this Hollywood lifestyle. In fact, he might need to re qualify to fly a plane when he finally does come back to the big money making career---Seriously--I hardly think that flying a plane is like riding a bike. He's been off gallivanting with women for too too long that I seriously think some re-schooling is in order. I wouldn't want him flying my plane!---BUT ANYWAY---back to the dance--Okay, well, when he said that people tell him he looks like Tom Cruise...the only resemblance I saw is ...they are both ANNOYING AS _________ (you fill in the blank). Doesn't Jake strike you as the type of guy that would jump on couches declaring his love for some chick? Yeah...I could so see him doing that! When that fool came out topless, in skin-tight...and I do mean SKIN TIGHT jeans and a volleyball I was irritated beyond belief. You think that's gonna help your chances with the voters??? No--it won't. But just to be certain---he decides to take his pants off, too...So ridiculous. I thought Lenny would have a cow but that old geezer is losing his touch cause he wasn't as upset about it as I thought he would be. Figures Bruno was the only one having that whole dance in your underwear business. And once again --did you all hear that singer in the background who's obviously going through puberty--crackety crack crack crack...like fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn't think the dance was as good as the judges did. Maybe, it's because he 's awkward or annoying...but the judges loved it...so he might be safe one more week. The last thing I'll say about Jake (for this week) is I'm with Chelsie..."I came in here ready to treat...uh...uh.. this..dan..da...duh.. dance competition as flying an..an...an... airliner but it's more like...areo...air..ba...aerobatics?" HUH??? That dork has the lamest jokes and comments!

5. Pamien-The judges are way too easy on her...WAY. Especially, Bruno. I actually felt this week...she sucked...at dancing that is...(oooo snap). The intro was wayyy to long and where was the quick in QUICKSTEP? I think I noticed some major mistakes and yet, the judges (except Len) were so pleased with her. Yeah..fine...she's good at channeling her character...but isn't this a dance competition first and foremost? YES IT IS! So, who cares if your knockers are the spitting image of Dolly's---let's see you dance for more than 10 seconds. Bruno gave her an 8??? Really??? That man either swings both ways or is losing it!

6. Kate and Tony-Surprise...surprise she's one of the last contestants to go on. WHAT A SHOCKER!--Okay...here it is...I am loving having her on the show because it gives me so much material for the blog---but enough is enough...I can't figure her out. Did she not say last week that she loves being on the show and now she really wants to continue because she's finally having fun??---Does this woman look like she's having fun? I would have much more respect for her if she just said, "Look, I'm horrible but I need the money to support my kids--because unlike my ex...I do work and he doesn't (seriously---why doesn't that fool work?)"--Instead, all she does is questions Tony constantly, needs him to get her excited every time they rehearse, and she's always discussing how she's had a really bad week"---JOIN the club! You think you're the only one with problems? "I don't want to go home..I'm not ready to go home...My kids really love seeing this show and I need to keep dancing for them"---THEN SHUT UP AND DANCE--or at least TRY TO! Sheesh. She definitely took major steps backward this week. She looked bad...BAD...and when she stretches out her arms she looks like she's hanging from a clothes line. I felt her dance was too slow and I didn't get the costume choice at all. Tony should have been wearing grunge and she should have tried to look like Molly Ringwald. CULT CLASSIC PEOPLE! Well, anyway...she ruined that song for all of us--forever. I also saw a clip of her on Jay Leno and she told Jay she has hope that she might win this season? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I know you have fans...but come on....there is no way that is going to happen! NO WAY! Have your bags packed sister...cause it's only a matter of time.

7. Nicole and Derek-Or should I call them Nicrybaby and De-most annoying ever!
Why is she always crying? I don't get it. She's great. Her dance was great and she's been on top of the leader board or close to the top every week. Stop the waterworks already! And please judges...just keep your panties on and sit while you give your comments, we don't need you to stand and give your remarks...

8. Evanna-Hey there buddy...Justin Bieber called and he wants his bangs back??? heh..heh..heh. I thought they did great! He's officially grown on me. I'm an Evan fan! I knew in time...this would happen. He's always polite, no nonsense...no drama...just silly and witty and well...he always says the right thing. Especially, when he said the only person I'm competing with is myself. That did it for me! Evan...you can gladly win season 10. Although...I still have to give my votes to Maks.---you understand.

My predictions for tonight...
In the bottom 2--Niecy and Kate and Niecy is going home.

Let's see if I'm right.

Until next week....
Keep Dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba

Week 4-Rumba and Tango Time

2010-04-13T07:30:00.001-07:00

Hello friends and fans,
Another week of DWTS and another night full of excitement and fun. I'm really loving this season. And from what Tom tells us, so does the rest of America. It's been the most viewed show for the past couple weeks. Woo hoo.

A few things to get us going. I was busting up when they did a recap from last week and showed Buzz blasting off. How ridiculous. I'll sure miss the moon jokes---in fact, if I were Buzz I would have mooned the judges for the horrible things they said to him! BAM!!! Suckers...that would be hysterical.

When I heard that we are going to be seeing the Tango and Rumba all in one night---my immediate thought was, "Oh boy...we better tell Bruno to have a cold shower waiting for him." He tends to get a little graphic and excited after a very passionate dance.

I also think the whole double score business was kind of stupid. I mean really--it's still to early to judge them on both technical and performance. Whatever...I was trying to just forget the whole thing but every 2 seconds Tom mentioned the DOUBLE SCORE SHOWDOWN...okay buddy we get it.

Last general comment about the intro--one of my favorite parts of the show where the camera pans the group...we had a shocking surprise featuring another victim of the forehead flare--first Edyta, then the ridiculous back up singer and now Nicole? Say it isn't so? Then of course we had Kate's usual "I love you kids"--she really should change it up and say, "John--you suck!" or something...Maks of course was too cool to give the camera a look, and then our resident slut, Pam making her sexy and seductive looks... BORING!

I won't even waste my time discussing the ridiculous round table discussion with the judges. That was such a time filler that literally pointed out all the things we already know. For example, Jake has a lot of energy---yeah, which he chooses to channel through crying, Pam is extremely sexy ...uh huh...cause you all encourage that. blah blah blah...

Before getting to the actual dancing---how many of you had money on the fact that Kate was going to be one of the last people to dance. Why? Really...we can get her out of the way first.

Now Dancing time...
1. Erin and Maks---
Now that's what I call a good start. Some of you have sent me links to an article that says that Kate requested Maks as her pro because she felt he was a much stronger personality and she likes strong men. Well, clearly you don't like weak ones--cause your marriage didn't last---But seriously Kate, you wouldn't last one second with Maks---NOT one! He'd have you crying and begging to get off the show quicker than you can say Paparazzi! ANYWAY---I'm not the biggest fan of Erin but I do think she's got potential so I'll try and be easy on her. Oh our poor little Erin...has a horrible backache and I'm sure Maks running toward you and thrusting his body into yours is not helping. Waaaa Waaaa Waaaa--America feels so sorry for you having to work so closely with our resident ballroom bad boy! I like how she said that she doesn't want to complain because the best athletes just press on. You know the real reason she isn't complaining is cause she doesn't want off the show (smart girl). I hate to say it---but they really weren't that good. I expected a little more from her. Fortunately, she was able to tell America her strap got caught in her heel? or some pathetic excuse. My poor Maksy might never get his trophy. Oh oh oh...and Bruno---did that fool really just call Erin's movement flamboyant? Wow---hey kettle...meet pot!

2. Evana--
How the heck does someone rehearse in a beanie. My goodness, I'm assuming it gets hot after all that dancing. This isn't an ice rink for crying out loud. My head would be drenched! They, of course, were great. They did much better than Erin--but then again all Evan has is two little broken toes, while Erin is apparently one injury shy of needing a back brace. Stick some Bengay patches on your back and move on. And another question for the readers...Does anyone else yell, "Sit down Bruno!" like I do? Good work Evana and good scores! Well deserved. No need to break another toe.

Quick comment about pros Kym and Jonathon's Rumba---HOLY MOLY bra and panties. This isn't the Victoria Secret fashion show...put some clothes on sister! Tom gets a gold star for his comment on, "Well folks that was the Rumba---the pros showed you 3 required rumba moves and 2% body fat!!!" HYSTERICAL!

3. Niecy and Louie-
Her freaking eyelashes are way to big and heavy! She can't even keep her eyes open! So these two BFF's get assigned the Rumba aka the DANCE of SEX---ooops I mean love---hot, romantic, steamy LOVE and you want her to think about her brother??? What kinds of sicko are you Louie? That's about all I need to say about that one. Except of course, I'm over her crying. It's not a wise move to cry when you've glued eyelashes of that size to your head. It could be a very dangerous combo-tears + eyelash glue= eyes sealed shut FOREVER!

4. Aiden and Edyta-
He's adorable and he proved it when he asked Edyta, "So you want me to feel you up every time?" Yes, Aiden she does---more than you'll ever know. A note for Edyta...how my dear, do you dance in those ridiculous costumes they give you? A true pro to be able to dance in the scraps of material they throw on her. And once again the Aiden bashing began! I totally felt their dance was believable and I really liked it. Jealous judges...stop hating!

5. Derek and Nicole-
Derek's comment that---"This is my love hand"--I won't even go there...it's way to easy! WAY! You know who Derek reminds me of? Joey freaking Fatone. Do you remember how his face was always in the camera and just being a total camera hog?--That's Derek---and it was annoying then and it's annoying NOW! Stop it. They of course did great---hated her costume (from head to toe) but the best part of their segment was when Bruno asked Nicole for more sex and Tom says, "In-Your-Dreams"---Loved it! I also loved his plug for his appearance on Castle on the all Tom channel. Funny guy! One final thing...I hope this is the last time I'll have to say this, "Brooke and Derek---enough with the reminiscing about the good old dancing days---we're done with that!"

6. Jake and Chelsie-
His T-shirt was stupid. It's pretty sad that it took you 4 weeks to trust your partner and stop complaining---but hey---let's see if you can actually do what your shirt says. If that fool says, "Dog gone it!" one more time, I'll puke. Just as I was loving the cool trick they did on the steps---Bam he slips and stumbles like 3 times. I was dying! I literally laughed so hard! I also, hit rewind so many times that I had an extra bit of funny when I noticed Bruno's reaction to the slips. HYSTERICAL. If you have it recorded go back to 1hr 20min and watch Bruno's reaction. So worth it. Then of course, Mr. Dramatic himself, has to grab his ankle to show us all he's suffering. Then the judges tell him how much they appreciate him attacking the dance....he attacked the dance alright!

7. Kate and Tony-
Let the trumpet sound....hear ye hear ye....and now....the Most Patient Man on Earth award goes to....Tony Dovolani!!!! Sheesh...poor Tony, I bet he never thought when agreeing to be Kate's pro that he'd also have to be her part time therapist. Kate, honey, if life is soooo terrible and stressful right now, perhaps you shouldn't take on this commitment. Our resident, "I'm not a quitter" sure sounded like one last night...with all those, "I can't...I can't...I can't"---well guess what??...we can't ...we can't...we can't...handle much more of your drama chickie poo. Even with all that said...I think all of us can agree she did better. Much better than before, especially that fancy shmancy ending, but still a bit awkward. I can't stand how when the judges are giving her some positive feedback, she mouths thank you. Just say it, it's okay.---no need to whisper. And speaking of judges...they sure threw her a curve ball. "Great job, a lot of improvement, much better" and then 4, 5, 4. That was a tad mean...but also kinda funny. I think she's out this week. Although, I must admit, I'd like to see her on just a wee bit longer. It's good for my review.

8. Cheryl and 85-
So over them trying to get media coverage on their "romance"---it's annoying. Overall, good dance, probably the best he's had so far. However, for someone who is soooo in love with Cheryl--that dance looked way to aggressive and not as slow and seductive as I thought it would be. The feathers were a little much---even for Cheryl who apparently was attacked by one. I also would like to add that I'm a big fan of diamonds...but that ring he gave her looked like a manly Superbowl ring. Ick. I hope he's the one to go. I have no attachment to him whatsoever!

9. Pam and Damien-
Our little Pamster is wanted by the state for not paying 493K in taxes. Tsk tsk tsk. There was a lot of commercials for the 11 o'clock news regarding why Pam's in trouble---so now you know why. I think that's funny how Pam tried to get a little pity from America saying she doesn't have a man in her life right now. Sure you do...this week it's Tommy, next week it'd Kidd, did you lose your schedule, again? Those two seem to be getting quite cozy with one another, I wouldn't be surprised if we have a little love tape surfacing on the Internet soon. But ---even with all that--Pam's rumba was by far the best of the evening! I was surprised. I was also surprised by our cranky gramps Len, saying Pam was a little overdressed for the dance. So funny.

Well guys...that about wraps it up for this week. Next week our show is cut down to 90 minutes!! Woo hoo! Loving that!

My prediction is the bottom three will be 85, Kate and Aiden---and I think Kate goes home. Although...I really hope it's 85.

Until next week---keep dancing!
Len-da

Week 3--Cryfest 2010

2010-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to another exciting installment of what Len-da thought of the show. Boy oh boy where do I begin??? My pencil was leaving a trail of smoke from all the notes I was jotting.

Let's get right to it.

Intro--
Very uneventful, no near falls or slips but the typical pan across the stars and pros always gets me excited cause I know someone will do something silly or typical. This brings me to...

Kate--we know you have a bazillion kids so no need to constantly remind us and mouth I heart you every stinking time the camera pans across your face.

We also had a nice little treat of having 3 pro couples show us the dances we would be seeing throughout the evening. Did anyone else do a double take on one of male dancers??? I was like...Maks...is that you? No it wasn't. But he looked oddly familiar and so I assumed that guy must be his brother, who by the way is also a pro dancer. Sure enough, it was him. Val Chmerkovsky--it's nice to see that uh--hmmm--talent runs in that family.

We also saw Dmitry, Lacey, and that no name borefest blonde Anna from last season. A nice little touch to show us the proper way to Paso, Watlz, and Quickstep.

Okay...on to the couples

1. Evana- This was the first time that I actually found Mr. Monotone himself quite funny. He might be growing on me. But seriously Evan, if a thick accent is what you desire, you my dear, have been paired with the wrong girl. The only person who can fulfill that simple request is our very own Edyta. I tried to upload my Edyta video for you again and of course it wasn't working so, if interested you'll have to go to the archive and find the Week 4 installment from 2009. It might take a little searching but for some it may be worth it. Back to Evana...I enjoyed the dance and thought the task of telling a story was beautifully and simply done. Good work you two! Good work!

2. Buzz and Ashly-Oh dear, I knew our resident gramps was in for another rough ride when he requested he take a video of Ashly so that he can study the dance steps, first we have dance maps and now videos. Oh boy--poor thing. I definitely enjoyed the walk...I can't quite call it a dance cause well, we all saw him walking but the song was sweet and the story was touching----so for that, I say bravo. BRUNO on the other hand is way to mean to him. Give it a rest you freaking bully! I thought it was very sweet for Ashly to keep whispering things to Buzz after the beating he got from those cranky judges! I was shocked she didn't pipe up and say something nasty. But...she's a professional and she knows the drill. I must admit, I almost want Buzz to leave just so I don't have to see him be torn down by the judges over and over again. Now that I've protected and babied Buzz enough...I do want to send him a quick message. Hey Buzzy---you need to move your hand down a tad okay? You're practically cupping your "daughters" breast as you wait backstage for your scores. Tsk tsk pervie...

3. Jake and Chelsie-I can barely stand to look at him these days. He is so immature. Is that how you plan to communicate with Vienna when your 15 minutes of fame are up and you have to go back to your limo driving job? Walk away huffing and puffing!? Hmm? Is that the form of communication you prefer? It's clear those two are not speaking the right Love Languages to one another! Also, Jake...I realize Chelsie is younger than you and in most cases the whole, "Respect your Elders" business applies--BUT she is the professional here! Not you. Her teaching you, pushing you and demanding you to perform is not disrespectful it's COACHING! GET IT? If you ask me, you're the one that's not showing your teacher respect. You undermine her authority time and time again and I just can't stand that! Anyway, with that said, the dance was cute, I feared there might be one too many props for Len but it seemed to be okay and well received. I'm sick of seeing Vienna in the audience, and finally--HOLY MOLY MAKEUP, Chelsie!!! Me no likey!

4. Niecy and Louie-OKAY OKAY--hold the phone. I realize the whole format of the show does involve some politics. You've got the whole voting business and campaigning for votes from America...fine...okay...but leave your stinking agendas and propaganda at home, okay? This isn't the forum for Prop 8 subliminal messaging, capeesh? But since they started it...I'll try and make my point and opinion on the subject as clear as they did. One man, one woman, one lifetime. I'll let you figure out where I stand. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can discuss a few little things about Niecy and Louie. First off, the way Niecy was going on and on about the whole I would be DEVASTATED if I couldn't be with my boyfriend because of race business---how many of you all thought her man was a white dude?? Yeah so did I. Come to find out...he's not. A little too emotional even for me. That twirl/lift thingie they did was way awkward. I don't think I would have had any idea about the message or story they were trying to convey in the dance had they not cried about it for a good 15 minutes during rehearsal--so I'm not sure they accomplished that challenge---but all in all...it was okay. I really wish Carrie Ann would just judge the dance and not the inner feelings and emotions of every duo. Give it a rest already.

6. Cheryl and 85-Surprise...surprise...Cheryl's story for the dance is that he wants her and she doesn't want him. When did you become that girl? The one that thinks she so good and everyone wants her? 2 trophy balls have gone to her head BIG TIME! I disagreed with the judges completely. I did not find his dancing improved at all. He looked off and weird. I guess I'm ready for the countdown of 85's exit to begin! One quick request let's start the count at 10 instead of 85.

7. Pam and Damien-I find it hard to believe that Pam cried all night long after being in the bottom two? Seriously Pam, that's a little much! I was waiting for the PETA campaign to rear it's ugly head and BAM there it was. Hey...don't get me wrong... I LOVE ANIMALS...they taste good. But really, I don't think anyone, even Bull fighting spectators actually think Bull fighting is okay. BUT WHATEVER...more importantly...my dream and request came true!! Well, sort of!---CHARO--cuchi cuchi CHARO...was on the SHOW! I squealed with delight. She would be an amazing contestant! I'd vote for her any day. I just wish ABC would admit they read my blog. I mean come on...how many of my requests have made it on that show? Too many to count! The Charo subtitles were hysterical! Thank you ABC for bringing Charo on the show. Please please, call her back as a contestant! A quick note about something Carrie Ann said regarding Pam knowing her body! Uh yeah...thanks captain obvious...for pointing that out to us.! She knows her body and so does the rest of the world! And as expected...we had yet another sexual innuendo from Pam backstage..."I want to keep Doing it...and doing it...and doing it..." It's not cute. It's stupid! It's a family show missy... No surprises with that one.

8.Edyta and Aiden--First, Aiden's little girl was too stinking cute! Second, did I actually see Edyta eating cake? No, I didn't. It was an optical illusion. I saw a plate and I saw a spoon, but not actual cake---so just in case your eyes played tricks on you, too. You didn't see what you thought you did. Okay...now about the dance. Who could freaking even concentrate on it with that horrible rendition of Train's Soul Sister screeching in the background? I think a couple of my windows shattered in the process. Couldn't that singer bring the notes down an octave or 12...yikes. It literally made me cringe. Clearly, it also put the judges in a sour mood (popping an eardrum will do that to anyone) cause they still seem to be Aiden haters. Geez guys...he's not that bad! BUT that song...WAS!

9. Erin and Glutenous MAKSamus--(how is it I never called him that before...it seems so obvious!) I know you've all heard that Erin is getting death threats...you all know why, right? A crazy mob of Maks fans feel she's encroaching on their man, that's why!...ease up with the flirting and maybe you won't need extra security! AND no...I'm not a part of or the leader of the death threat brigade, just in case some of you are wondering. I also read an article last week about how Erin claims that Maks has the sweetest smelling sweat. Don't I know it? He just looks like he smells good. Now on to last night's performance. First off, that security shirt he was wearing was hysterical. There was a fake little radio on the shoulder, too! Uhhh.. Maks honey, that's not the security Erin needs, okay? I agreed with Len...when the music started and the dance began, I literally said, "Are they ever gonna start the Waltz?" 10 minutes of fluttering around like butterflies was annoying! I also didn't really appreciate the whole blindfolded business. What's the story? Another hidden campaign against peeping Toms? (Ha...that was funny. I crack myself up.)

10. Kate and Tony-First off, why is Kate always one of the last contestants to go on? Just get her over with. She's not good and she's not the happiest person to watch. I found it a tad irritating at how she thinks she's the only one being followed around by paparazzi. Well, her and Jake. It was so stupid to see him nodding his head in the background as though he could sympathize about how terrible it is to be in the spotlight---YET both of you chose to do reality shows MORE THAN ONCE! I don't see any of the other stars complaining about the fame? Kate and Jake both love it and they know it. When Kate said to the acting coach that she's not allowed to show emotion I practically threw the remote at the TV! You? Never allowed to show emotion??? REALLY?? really?? I seem to recall quite a few outbursts of anger in crowded stores with your family where you yelled at your husband as though he were a 3 year old! Channel that into your dancing and you'll do better. She was AWFUL. She doesn't even look like she wants to be there. I don't get it. It was just as Carrie Ann said, HARD TO WATCH! I also can't stand how mean she is to Tony. He kept telling her how great she did and she couldn't even take a compliment. I hope she's out this week.

11. Derrick and Nicole-Ease up on the cussing Nicole...ease up. I love how the best dancer on the show has absolutely nothing to whine about so she makes up some ridiculous story that she can tell Derrick is stressed. He didn't look stressed to me? It's clear she took a few lessons from the other drama queens. If I cry, cuss and complain...I get to go on last and get the most airtime. RIDICULOUS! I was happy Len brought them down a couple notches with that 6--but Bruno giving them a 9 for doing a free style dance instead of a Quickstep---really burns me up!

Well folks...that about covers it for this week. Tune in tonight for Rachel's favorite...Reba McEntire!!! ha ha ha--Rachel hates Reba! I hope she does better than the Beach Boys...those fools need to retire and pronto!

Keep Dancing...
Len-da Isa-ba

Week 2--Let the DRAMA begin.

2010-03-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

Welcome back friends and fans--DWTS is officially back with all the crazy drama and antics of any good reality TV.

As always I'll begin with the Intro and general observations before moving right into the dancing.

Notice how after all the couples come down the grand stair case (which I see the execs stopped polishing...no more slips, falls or close calls--DARN) they all line up and then the camera pans through all of them and they each give that cheesy smile, wink, thumbs up, "hi mom" or puckering of the lips---my dear sweet--ever confident and professional Max did not participate. It only goes to show he's there strictly for the most serious of reasons and he will not waste time on the silly games all those others play. --Bravo, my sweet professional...Bravo!

During that same little pan across all contestants I couldn't help but be beyond irritated at Pam Anderson trying to pull off the innocent bit. Oh give it up already---the words Innocent Pam--go against all that is natural in this world.

Brooke looked stinking hot! Seriously, have we ever seen the female sidekick sporting a short cocktail dress?? I don't think so. Yeah, so I hate her a little but I guess if I were paid to look good---I'd somehow find the motivation.

Final comment on the intro---the fact that good ole' Lenny's shirt and pocketchief (whatever that dealy is called--I'm an immigrant so sue me!) clashed beyond words drove me nuts all night. I mean really wardrobe folks--how difficult is it to use the same fabric swatch to make that little ensemble coordinate. Sheesh.

Now on to the dancing...
1. Shannen and Mark-
She definitely did better than last week, but my goodness that hair and those teeth are quite the distraction. Her bangs hanging below her eyes were driving me bonkers. I'm sure it would be helpful to be able to see while dancing! Geez...way to put all the pressure on your partner in leading. It's one thing to lead an inexperienced dancer and it's another to lead an inexperienced dancer with her eyes SHUT! Good grief woman---get a trim--or a least bobby-pin. I noticed the resident bad girl in the 90210 zip code is back and better than ever. Ease up Brenda Walsh...you're not fighting Kelly for Dylan okay? Just listen to Mark and cut the attitude. I do need to mention that I really am over the cast members running out into the audience and giving smooches and hugs to the loved ones---except when Shannen did it. It makes me happy to see her dad so excited to see her out there. Why is she any different than the other fools that run out there?---not sure...but for now I will allow it. NEXT...

2. Hotty couple Aiden and Edyta-
First off, what the heck was Edyta wearing in rehearsals? It was this poncho meets life vest meets Christmas tree skirt. Aye yay yay---that girl and her accent and clothes. Some things are just too good to change. I personally think the guy is not a bad dancer but for some strange reason they think he's awful. I'm a tad annoyed by that. He is not as bad as they make him sound. Comparing him to Kenny Main??? Really? I mean how many dudes can keep dancing after getting two elbows to the head while dancing. Not many...I guarantee it. I noticed our favorite lift police judge has had a change of heart about him. I think she's interested in a relationship and is trying to get into his good graces. Keep an eye out. It's pretty clear to me she wants him. I mean...really who else is there? We don't have any youngins' on the show this season...so, as she should, she's keeping an eye out for the hot one.

3. Evan and Ana---who from now on will be Evana
What is wrong with this dude? Too many falls on the ice or something cause I am practically falling asleep as he talks. MONOTONE!!!! I get the whole dry sense of humor thing...but this goes beyond that too much. Yes, I'll admit-- he's good, but seriously--he's already used to the crazy costumes and looking a little feminine (don't get all crazy on me...I'm merely saying no male ice dancer/skater looks masculine while performing--sorry)-so getting him to really get into dancing is not too far of a stretch. His comment to Brooke about it's nice to work with someone and feel like you're a team rather than being alone was sweet and endearing so 1 point for that. I also want to comment on Brooke's comment about being able to eat cheesecakes...why was Ana so freaking confused about that? Hey there my little ruskie...do they not have dessert in Russia? Oh that's right...you're just not allowed to eat it. And come to think of it...Brooke probably has never had a piece of cheesecake in her life...so just shut up Brooke...

4. Niecey and Louie--
It's clear, Louie's petrified of her. I mean there was nothing he could say to her without her getting all crazy on him. OOOOO snap...don't mess with the Diva cause she'll Reno 911 all over your girlie butt. Seriously, did they mix up their costumes cause I could have sworn I saw Louie prancing like a woman throughout the dance. You can't wear a pink suit and prance like that...you just can't! I really wish Niecey would stop the lip-syncing...however, maybe she's good a singing and could possibly take the place of our annoying resident back up singer (notice I haven't mentioned much about her this season...cause I just can't muster up enough strength to do it--but just know...I am suffering in silence every time they show that woman!) Back to her dancing, let's be honest folks...the judges were way too easy on her cause they're afraid of her, too. And really Carrie Ann---the whole did I spot a lift business was just stupid. I don't think it's physically possible for Louie to lift anyone.

5. Jake and Chelsie-
First off...your jeans are too tight. The 80's called and want them back! Second, I think it's hysterical how tough he gets with a teenager. "I'm not asking you to change the dance, I'm telling you..." Oh okay, wimp...I'll get right on it! Third, the high water pants suited his DORK persona perfectly and FINALLY---It literally made me laugh out loud when Chelsie emphasized that their relationship is like brother and sister--Get it Jake? She's not interested in a rose okay? Good girl Chels...keep reminding him.

6. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz---
Yeah that's right! I said it...He put me to sleep! I'm sorry. I know that's harsh but come on...what is he doing there? He makes Ashly make a dancing steps map? Oh boy. The music selections for these people crack me up. "Fly me to the Moon"--too funny. I know I'm harsh on gramps but when those judges lay into him, I want to rip their heads off. Give the guy a break. Yes, Carrie Ann, Buzz was dancing like he was afraid. He was afraid he would break a hip. And Bruno, just chill out a little okay. No need to take your critiquing so far. After the performance, the comment made by Brooke about showing his precious Lois his dance moves was great! Hey there Brookster...what's that old saying...There may be snow on the roof but there is still a fire burning in the furnace. Go get 'em tiger!

7. Nicole and Derrick-
She was great but it's not surprise. It's like me getting an A in Romanian class. I already speak the language--so really...an A is nothing to get so excited about! I don't think she was perfect and received two 10's but for some reason Bruno and Carrie Ann are just wild about her. Bruno must want front row seats to her next concert or something. Oh and Brooke enough about your dancing days with Derrick. It's getting old.

8. Maks and Erin-
I love it when Maks gets all demanding and serious! Music to my ears to hear him say, "LISTEN TO ME! ENOUGH!!!" So hot. Word on the street is he and Erin are an item. Surprise surprise Maks is dating his dance partner. My man is quite the little playa isn't he? I could have done without the whole neck nuzzle fake make out at the end of the dance. Break my heart a little more why don't you? Then apparently, Erin had a little "nip slip" and my dear sweet Maksy had to be the one to tell her. GRRRRRR. I did not care for their little lovers banter about him not having a bicep--you just shut it. How dare you...next you'll say he doesn't have a bottom...Also, I caught our little Erin in a lie--night one she said she requested Tony---now she says she requested Maks cause he's such a great teacher that pushes his students. LIAR!!! So which is it? Tony or Maks??? hmmm?? And Tom..don't ever comment on Maks's ego. EVER!

9. Pam and Damien-
I'm sooooo over all of her sexual innuendos. What's wrong with being a normal woman in her 40's? Why this constant need to be a sex symbol? It's over the top. I'm happy to report that she did much better than last week---probably cause she wasn't drunk or high. I actually can't believe I'm gonna say this but elegance really suits her. She should try it once in a while. OKAY and now for my favorite part of the whole season...Did Len really need to use the word Tittybating..tittyfacing...what the heck? Why? Why would that word come to mind? Gee I wonder! Again, back stage she does the whole innocent act and I was just over it! OVER IT!

10. 85 and Cheryl-
I don't' think it's fair to give him less points because his derriere sticks out. I mean...that's the way the dude is built. He can't change that! My recommendation for 85 is a little less flirting and a lot more practicing! Perhaps the judges wouldn't be so hard on you if you put in more effort to dancing and not wooing Cheryl. Oh and Carrie Ann...who are you kidding...what do you possibly know about football? Please stop comparing football to dancing okay?

11. Finally Kate and Tony-
Whoa FIREWORKS!!! I understand they were both frustrated with one another but I have to say I was a tad surprised at Tony walking out like that. They really must have left out a lot of the annoyances she must have caused. There were so many good parts about their whole bit that I'm not quite sure where to begin---how about with Kate's shocking..."I don't' get it"----You don't get it? Really? Watch any of the first 5 seasons of your show and you'll get it! How about the zings she threw Jon's way..."Thank you for coming back, Tony...a lot of people quit on me in my life"--oooo ruthless! Let's keep reminding America what a victim you are! A victim who lives in a million dollar home for free! Then the dancing begins and whoa...speechless. She was awful! She looked so uncomfortable, scared, unsure...stiff...bad bad bad! When Bruno said, that the song, "I'm still standing (which again, is such a clever selection for Kate---ABC's on a roll) reminds me of dancing with Elton John"...oh dear...what a visual! Then when she went for her scores...she managed to get in one more zing and pity vote from the fans. "The one thing I learned was that Tony and I are not quitters!" Enough already, I'm sure Jon's not watching the show!

Well guys...that about wraps up another week of DWTS. Never a dull moment. Until next time--

Keep dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba

Season 10 PREMIERE!!!!

2010-03-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hello my dancing fanatics! I know you all know how much I longed for this season to begin. ABC is good...very good---they got Len-da Isa-ba back and ready for some major critiquing!

THE CHANGES

Let's begin by mentioning some of the many changes we saw last night.

The most obvious was the new co-host Brooke Burke. I have to admit I had major doubts about her ability. I thought for sure she'd drive me up a wall and I am happy to report, I was happily surprised! She was excellent. Short, sweet, to the point and very natural up there. The chemistry between her and Tom was just right and you can tell she wasn't trying to hard. She asked good questions that actually made sense and then...wait it for folks...she actually allowed the stars and dancers to respond!!! (Can you imagine such a concept???) In fact, not only did she wait for responses from the group but when she did accidentally cut some one off, she apologized and said, "Please continue." Again...based on that alone, she's got my support. Good choice on Brooke.

Another change--the intro where they announce the dancers was very impressive. The previous intro looked so cheesy. There was this flashing ray of light and the contestants seemed to be photo shopped in---this time, it looked much more professional.

You might also have noticed the set looked a little different with the green room being on the main dance floor rather back stage. Not sure I see why that was necessary but okay...whatever.

The scoring was way high tech listing the judges names and then their very predictable scores.

But as always...with changes comes some things that remain very much the same--

Pam looks like a drunken mess, Kate has that same attitude and moodiness I remember so well from her show, Jake's still a crying dork, Edyta still wears the most insane costumes, and I still can't understand Bruno! These constants in life are why we all tune in to DWTS...so by all means keep some things the same---too much change would rock my world.

Now on to the actual dancing---

1. Ochocinco and Cheryl---Really? Are you freaking kidding me? You made up your last name based on your jersey number? Good grief! This isn't a recording studio and you're not a rapper! I say that because only rappers give themselves the crazy clever names I love so much---you know the classics like---"Flo-Rida" pronounced (Flow Ride-uh) because he lives in Florida---or my all time favorite...Ludacris...whose name is Chris. These men can pull off that craziness because they live in world of RAP---you Mr. 85 do not...so cut that crap out. However, he was a decent dancer--so I'll move on. And I must mention that I was happy to see Cheryl sporting something other than her black and red jump suit. In fact, she looked quite good last night.

2. Shannen and Mark---Holy moly was she wearing Buzz's dentures??? Those teeth looked horrible last night. Come on Brenda Walsh...get some chompers that fit your mouth! I did think it was adorable that her dad asked her to do the show (I choose to believe that story) and he was so cute in the audience watching his girl and her teeth. She looked really nervous but I think she'll get better as the weeks pass.

3. My hottness Mr. Maks and Erin--Okay admit it...how many of you thought Erin was going to say, " My biggest fear is....having another stalker!" I sure did. But no, apparently her greatest fear is getting up and dancing (how original!) Maks had some good lines last night...like when he said, "The only level I know to work at is the....MAX!" So freaking clever! I also loved, "My only pleasure in life is to bitch at people and you're taking that away!"---loved it! I know you all say I'm biased but he truly is the best male dancer on that show. He is sooo fun to watch and not just for the obvious reasons--like watching his behind! I'll stop there cause last night my hubby was not pleased with my giddiness when he came on screen---nope nope...not one bit. I am not the biggest fan of Erin but I do love how competitive she is! She is just what Maks needs---however when you're on a season with some big media names like this year...I fear she won't have the fan base to keep her on as long as he---ooops I mean she deserves. She's a bit touchy with my man...but I'll let it slide since...well...she's in it to win it. But watch it missy...WATCH IT! Another thing I'd like to mention is how Maks rarely says anything in the green room (glass room in the back...whatever you want to call it) and some how ...he still is the essence of Mr. Cool.

4. Jake and Chelsie---Okay seriously, how many times are they gonna use the whole "rose cliche"---he gave her a rose when he met her, he gave her a rose during the dance, and then the song they chose for him to dance to is---Kissed by a ROSE by Seal?!?!? Oh give it a rest already. I guess anything is better than..."On the Wings of Love"---I admit...I was expecting that one! Would you all agree that Jake defines the word --NERD! He is so cheesy. For a man that good looking--it just doesn't work. He needs to just sit there and smile and never say one word. When he busted out with, "I come in here and feel dumb every day" (sniff sniff--whimper whimper) I practically puked. Be a man for crying out loud!! The dance was pretty good, but when Bruno said, "You look like you are riding a horse! Keep your legs together!" I couldn't help but think---he's been whoring around on the Bachelor...his days of keeping his legs together are OVER buddy..OVER! Oh and Carrie Ann--please don't refer to Jake as being romantic...ABC is romantic, he was just their puppet. Do you honestly think that Jake came up with all those romantic ideas for the show??? Pah-lease...it's called writers and producers! Ridiculous! Let's move on to the interview with Brooke where she asks him, "Really Jake, can you honestly say you were nervous? I mean you proposed to Vienna in front of America--that's as nervous as one can get" and his retarded response is, "Proposing to Vienna was the honor of my life!" Then they show Vienna with her cheesy smile and lo and behold she's sitting next to Gia who made out with him a week before the proposal of honor took place.---I call B.S.! BIGTIME!

5. Niecy and Louie--She looks happy to be there. That's a good sign. It's also good that she loves how she looks and is content---but seriously....I don't need to see you in a leotard. EVER. My advice to her is start dancing and stop lip-syncing...just a thought. You might do better.

6. Evan and Anna--He's a tad too monotone for me. He just seems boring. I fear this may be our first gold medalist to lose. I know he's riding the high of his Olympic win but I'm not sure it's gonna work. In fact, I have never heard of him until these Olympics---so I'm sure others are in the same boat. I noticed all the leg lifting (which is usually the girls deal) was done by him. A little "queer" and odd---no? As for Bruno wanting more chemistry from the 2 of them...I don't think that's possible Bruno...he of all people should know that!

7. Buzz and Ashly--Okay I'm just gonna come right out and say it...Astronauts are WEIRD! I mean really...you got to be a little screwy to get in a shuttle and orbit in space. Who freaking does that? The man's 80 years old and yes, a freaking hero, but seriously--you need to dance not walk during the performance. I say this every year...and every year we get the token senior! Can I just say that our little Ashly Costa is looking mighty good this year...she's definitely no longer Ashly "Of the Large" (the literal meaning of her maiden name-DELAGROSA. ---Thank you Mr. Greg) She's sweet and talented but she won't be on for long. Really, who's surprised?

8. Nicole and Derick--She's a dancer...no fair. I know she's never danced like this before but half the battle of this show is gaining the confidence to get up there and let loose. She's got that down because of her prior dancing--so the rest will come very easy to her. Derick needs to seriously shave that disgusting flesh colored peach fuzz off. It makes me sick! I'm with Len on this one...she wasn't that great...and definitely not worthy of 2 nines!

9. Aiden (hello gorgeous) and Edyta--Has Edyta ever danced with a dog on this show? Seriously, how the heck does she manage to get all the hotties? Who cares if this guy can even dance...he can stay on the show as long as he wants in my opinion. (Ease up ladies and gents...I'm still true to my man, but I needed to mention the obvious--he's some nice eye candy) I can't believe the judges gave him a 15??? Come on...he was better than that. And I don't blame Edyta for pleading with the fans to vote...she's not stupid. Wouldn't you want to stay on a little while longer if you were paired with Aiden?

10. Kate (Kill me now) Gosselin and Tony--So are you annoyed yet? Give it time. It will come. I love love how she played the "This is for all you moms out there" card. Oh give it a rest, you don't identify with the moms out there. How many moms do you know that get paid to stay home, get to go on all sorts of neat vacations and adventures, and get a free tummy tuck and makeover? That little plea to identify with me backfired! And Tony's right...can you be a little more excited to actually be on the show? You asked to do it...now do it! After the shortest routine I saw all night---and I listened to the judges...I couldn't help but think...hmmm...how's does the berating feel right now? Do you like to be torn to shreds in front of America and criticized for everything you do??? Well honey, welcome to your ex-hubby's world? It's not so cool when you're on the receiving end...is it? I'm not saying the guy was right in cheating...but he definitely took a daily verbal beating from that woman!

AND FINALLY--
Pam and new guy (didn't even catch his name)--I have no words...NONE...well okay...maybe some. What the heck was going on with her? Was she drunk? High? She was a mess. A total mess. I mean...without getting too graphic...I felt dirty just watching her. She looks like such trash. I think she was confused and thinking her partner was the strip pole. Goodness! Then just as the night was coming to a close at 1 hour and 55 minutes---her partner enjoyed a major boob grab---not graze...but a full on hold. PIG---I'm not sure she even noticed--that's even more disgusting! And the most disgusting was the scores she received! I guess it proves once again boobs will get you far in Hollywood.

Well folks...that about wraps it up. I'm actually quite thrilled to not have a 3 day season premiere. it leaves us wanting more. Overall, I'm happy with the premiere , I'm happy with the cast and most of all I'm happy with the changes.

Here's to a very exciting season 10!---

Keep Dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba

Season 10 Stars Line Up

2010-03-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

Well ladies and gents---I'm back and better than ever! Finally--- a season worth watching! I'm not saying I'm thrilled about all our stars (more on that in a minute) but hey---there is a definitely some interest that's been perked in me.

I know many of you already have this information if you endured the freaking 3 hour spectacle of the Bachelor Finale last night---but what you don't have is my thoughts on the cast. I hope it's worth your time.

So without further delay---it's time to list all our "stars".

Let's begin with the fact that we still don't have a definite answer on Tom's new co-host. Notice, last night Melissa (move on already) Rycroft was announced as his special guest. Oh just make a decision already. It's not like whoever gets picked has some MAJOR shoes to fill. PAH-LESE! Do we all remember Samantha's mind-blowing interviews? You don't??? EXACTLY! So---as far as I'm concerned I can't be certain Melissa is it. I hope ABC makes a decision soon---all this flip flopping and agonizing is a little to Bacheloresc for me---and don't get me started on that. IN FACT, I have so much to say about that pansy Pavelka that I will save him for last.

1. Chad Ochocinco--don't know him...don't care---But I guess we'll include him in the line up since he is paired to 2 time champ Cheryl Burke and he is the staple football player we all expect to see. How about a basketball player or hockey?---CHANGE IT UP ALREADY!

2. Aiden Turner--some Hottie McNaughty from All My Children. Good ole' Edyta is paired with him. It must be in her contract to get the hot guy. She pretty much gets the best looking stars---well---for the most part,

3. Erin "I was peeped at" Andrews--Big whoop-For someone soooooo violated you sure don't mind getting up in front of America and wearing next to nothing...that's a smart move. Don't misunderstand me folks---I do believe she was a victim and that sicko needs some major help but I'm sure she's not the only woman peeped on. Come on now...you're in the public eye and you're good looking---how dare you change in your private hotel room!? It is important that I back this gal because she is paired with my Maks. So for that reason and that reason alone I like you. I'm also celebrating beyond words at the fact that Kate is not with Maks as I first predicted---or with Pam "Dirty Hep Queen" Anderson.

4. Buzz Aldrin--That fool isn't dead??? HUH? I mean seriously, wasn't he like 60 when he walked on the moon 4 decades ago? (if that even happened---ha ha ha) and how sad for him to be known as second person to walk on the moon---couldn't good ole' Neil say..."On the count of three we jump out!"--Stinking KILL JOY! But anyway---he's old and fragile and he'll be dancing with Ashley Costa (is this the former Ashley Delagrosa??---I think so. It will be nice to have her and her caterpillar eyebrows back)

5. Niecy Nash--She's the chick from Reno 911. I think she's on some other gig too---some clean house show. She's paired with Louie Van Amstel.

6. Shannen Doherty--Oh yeah...BRENDA WALSH baby---90210's resident bad girl. Love it! A little fact about her is she was married to Ashley Hamilton for like a hot second. For those of you that don't remember Ashley---let me assure you he IS a man and he was on DWTS for the same hot second last season? the season before that? Oh who cares...he was the first one booted out whatever season he was on. I guess it's trendy to have 90210 alums on the show---so ABC when do we all get to yell "Donna Martin GRADUATES!!!!"??? Is she signed on for next season? Brenda is paired with Mark Ballas. She'll eat him alive. And speaking of eating...what's up with her teeth? Some thing is off...way off.

7. Evan Lysacek--You all know him....he won the Gold in figure skating. It was figure skating right? I mean the only thing I recall about the Vancouver Olympics was the Shamu Attack---Oh wait...that wasn't even an event! Yeah...so I admit it...I didn't watch. Evan will be dancing with Anna Trebunskaya.

8. Nicoloe Scherzinger--She's the lead singer for the group Pussycat Dolls. So she basically, looks good and can't sing. I'm a little irritated because HELLO ABC---she's a dancer!!! Come on...what is she doing on there? She can't possibly last long cause who really cares about the Pussycat Dolls except adolescent boys? and I'm pretty certain those boys are not watching DWTS. She's partnered with Mr. Annoying himself...Derek Hough!

9. Pamela Anderson--I don't even have to say much about her...we all the know basic facts: she's got big boobs, she flip flops between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, she's a PETA fanatic, has 2 boys, and Hepatitis. Oh yeah...and she was on Baywatch and in Playboy. She's partnered with a new dancer Damian Whitewood. Whoa what a gig---your first season on DWTS and you get Pam DAMN Anderson??? What a resume booster!

10. Kate Gosselin--(imagine the most disgusted look on my face as you read this)---she'll be annoying us in just a matter of weeks. Ugh...I literally just upchucked. I know...I know...having her on the show is good TV---I get it....but do you know what would have been GREAT TV?? Having her ex Jon on there!! Too bad ABC---you should have thought of that! The two exes competing...HOW AWESOME! But wait...who would watch the kids? Oh that's right...the 7 billion nannies they have. I will admit that I'd rather have her earn a living by dancing on a hit show...than have her put a picture book together of her kids with a little captions that say, "Hannah---my little Angel---may you always follow your dreams" and have it wind up on the BEST SELLER list. Oh please! Just in case you don't know how I feel about her...I would love ---LOVE--for her to be the first contestant booted off. That would be so amazing. Go home and raise your kids! They've been exploited enough! She's paired with Tony Dovolani. Poor guy.

11. Jake "On the Wings of PUKE" Pavelka--Okay, first off---I'm embarrassed to admit that I watched the Bachelor---but in watching said show I now have a perfect opinion of him. He's a moron! He's boring. He's ridiculous. He's a crybaby. He has horrible judgement. HE'S A CLASS A JERK. I am so sick of him boring me to death that I just can't imagine a new show with him on it. I mean really---do we need to see more of this wavering "I love you...no I love you...no wait...I love you both...but I still love Ali, too, and I love my mom and I love Gia" horn dog? NO--we do not! I'm very very worried about sweet young-- Chelsea Hightower (my favorite gal dancer). She is the one paired with him. Watch out Chelsea---whatever you do...don't ever say, "I love the way you dance" or even give him a smile and tell him he's doing a great job---because I can guarantee you-- he'll be in love with you by the end of the season. Oh and wait...Aren't you a freaking pilot? How many vacation days does an airline pilot get? Do you even have a job? Rumor on the street is he's a limo driver and not a pilot. I guess the head gear for a driver and a pilot look sorta similar and I suppose you can call driving a humongous car around "flying" but really??? What's the deal? America... If he hasn't annoyed you yet...just you wait---you'll be in tears and he'll be in tears in a few minutes.

A few things I'd like to point out is ---ABC is listening to me. First, they select Kate Gosselin, then they get rid of Samantha, and did you all catch what else they did??? They cut the couples list down from like 17 to 11!!! woo hoo! Now that's more like it! What else would you like to see change. I apparently have some pull in that area. My next mission is getting the back up singer fired! One mission at a time folks. ONE-MISSION-AT-A-TIME!

Another interesting tidbit...you'll notice quite a few of our resident dancers are gone, too.
Karina...FINALLY!
Lacey...It's about time!
Jonathan...there isn't a sickly on this season so naturally he was left out.
Dmitry...when he ruined it for Maya---I knew his DAYS were numbered!

So my dear sweet readers---Welcome back. This season will be spectacular. I just know it!

Back and ready for action,
Len-da Isa-ba

Rumors...Rumors...but soon we'll know the truth!

2010-03-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

Okay so apparently many of you know that DWTS season 10 cast list will be announced today! I have yet to see any announcements.

I did however hear a lot of buzz and possibilities of who's on and what's going to change but for now...none of it can be written in stone.

Here's what I hear is going down...

First off...my prediction is most likely coming a reality....More like NIGHTMARE! Kate freaking Gosselin is on the show. I'll just say it right now...I know Maks will be paired up with her. I just know it. AND since I'm already expecting it I would like to put out a special message for my Maksy to read.

BE THE BIGGEST ASS YOU CAN BE! okay? Seriously...be mean...be harsh...BE THE MAKS we know and love! If you need assistance in how to be condescending and horrible take a little looksy at some of the fine episodes of Jon and Kate plus Eight---you've got much to learn from the master!

Other buzz and rumors are that we might have a little Full House reunion with Candace Cameron-Bure and John Stamos both appearing this season. I really like them both so if it's true...I hope you two can dance! However, the million dollar question is...if they both are on the show--who would Bob Saggot vote for??? His precious DJ or Uncle Jesse--Oh the problems---Oh the dilemma...

I hear that Pam-Jugs-Anderson is on as well as Kevin Federline---aka Brittney's Ex who's now a porker.--wait wasn't he on some celebrity (ha) fit show? Maybe he's not a porker...we'll see.

We already know Samantha's gone...but who will be her replacement??? The rumor mill says...
the contenders are:
Brooke Burke---nah...she'd annoy me.
Kelly Osborne---Oh please....
Melissa Rycroft---Seriously...move on already---your 15 minutes are UP!
and Vanessa Minillo---I guess she'd be good. She's Nick Lachey's girlfriend and former Miss Teen USA. She hosted a show called True Beauty and although I like her...I can't say I'll like her for DWTS.

And finally the best rumor (in my opinion)---Karrrina, Slutina...looks like a Bull in heat Smirnoff has been CUT from the pros list. Oh nice would that be? Actually, I'd take another season of Karina if we can get rid of that ridiculous back up singer with forehead flare!

Stay tuned tonight as they reveal the cast in a very long and drawn out ABC fashion during the 7 hour Bachelor Finale---all the rumors will finally be put to REST!

DWTS starts Monday, March 22nd.--Stay tuned!

Len-da

Much buzz about Samanth's WAYYYYY overdue departure!

2010-01-29T07:53:00.000-08:00

Hello all you DWTS fans out there..I know many of you have sent me articles and news clips sharing the wonderful --yet very overdue departure of SaMANtha. Of course, I'm thrilled. It was time. IT WAS TIME 9 seasons ago!

This bit of news-- might be just what I needed to get back into the show. HOWEVER, I feel I must say that I really hope ABC thinks long and hard about who Samantha's replacement should be. This decision is critical! Word on the street (thank you Lisa) is that Melissa Rycroft might be her replacement...OH COME ON! Please...please...find someone else---and not Kate Gosselin! Hmmm...who would I want to see replace Samantha (besides me of course). I think I would like to see Jennie Garth or perhaps bring back DREW!!! What are your thoughts?

Anyway...that all remains to be seen!

So yes...I'm a happy camper...but the only way to make me jump off the moon ECSTATIC is to get rid of the back up singer with her annoying forehead flare (great phrase Suzy!)

Next season of DWTS begins...March 22nd!

So I called it....

2010-01-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

Next season we get to see that greedy Gosselin on DWTS...

(Cue barf fest!)

Stay tuned...it's sure to be interesting!!!!

Okay so apparently the hiatus lasted all season...

2009-11-25T07:25:00.000-08:00

so...SUE ME!!!!

I mean really...I don't get paid for this stuff! And when push comes to shove and I have to let something go to get other stuff done...well...guess what suffers?? Yep...DWTS.

BUT...I did want to say that the bad winning prediction streak is OVER!!!

If you'll notice on the side of the blog---I predicted Donny would win.

Of course, I need to say something about this.

First off, I did watch the final dances including the freestyles (what I basically wait all season for) and based on that alone---Donny deserved it.

Kelly---FELL??? Really...that's just sad. I knew, you knew and she knew...it was over then and there!

Mya---GOT ROBBED. She was a terrific dancer but that freestyle...oh brother SNOOZEFEST! Dmitry should have listened to her. Hairspray??? Been there...done that!

Donny---well...it was entertaining and it screamed DONNY OSMOND!

A few thoughts...I can't promise that I'll be back next season....I really can't. They really need to change up the show BIG TIME for me to stay interested. I've said this before and I'll say it again. They need to do an all stars cast with all the fan favorites. That would really get people excited. They also need to cut down the contestant list from 103 to 10. Seriously, by the time the seasons over I can't even remember who the first 6 couples were anyway.

Just some suggestions for the producers out there!

Finally, I just can't wait for my prediction to come true...MARK MY WORDS....Kate Gosselin will appear on this show. The day that happens is the day I tune in...and PUKE of course! And if she's even a tad bit good at dancing ...she'll get the pity votes and win!---AND...since we're going down this path...she'll probably be paired up with my Maksy!---just to make sure that dagger is in deep.

But friends...for those that faithfully watched all season...you all deserve a medal cause..I---Len-da Isa-ba---one of the biggest fans out there couldn't muster up the strength to watch it---which we all know says a lot.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving....celebrating not turkey time but all the wonderful things the Lord has blessed us with. We have so much to be thankful for!

And of course a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Len-da is on HIATUS baby!`

2009-10-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

Well dear friends and loyal readers---as you have probably noticed..Len-da Isa-ba is on a reviewing hiatus at the moment. I'm not saying, I've given up on the show and that I won't watch again this season or next or the one after that. It's just that at this very moment...I'm not available to keep up with this rigorous reviewing schedule.

So I challenge my loyal friends, readers, and fellow critics...to get creative and review the show for me. Similar to the shenanigans on the show of getting guest judges, we'll have guest reviewers.

If interested please, email me and let me know what week you'd like to review and my contribution to the assignment will be to give you an appropriate reviewer alias. There can only be one Len-da Isa-ba...but I think I can get pretty creative when I need to.

Also, I can post your email content right on to the website and send it out like I always do. So you'll be very official. Please include a photo of yourself if possible. (What a fun assignment this will be!)

I promise to return and resume my responsibilities in a little while---that is if I'm still needed and wanted by the end.

Hope you'll take on the challenge.

On temporary hiatus---
Len-da Isa-ba

Week 4 and 4 new dances...

2009-10-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Let's see if I can make it through the entire 5 hour show without my eye candy.

I see they are now making an attempt to add new dances to change up the show. I believe they have tried this before and it didn't prove to be fair well. Let's see how it goes this time around. Apparently, the shows ratings have dropped MAJORLY! It hasn't been this low since 2005 or 2006. I'm not surprised. The producers are thinking they might need to cut it down to having the show once a year rather than 2. My idea is cut down the contestants to 8or 10 couples...make hte show 1 hour long and eliminate results night completely. That would perk up the audience.

I would like to take a moment and predict IN WRITING that I have a sneaky feeling that one way the show will boost ratings is by asking Kate Gosselin to join the cast. They are waiting for the divorce drama to end and then mark my words...they'll catch that big fish... hook, line and sinker! She's greedy and loves to be in the spotlight...so what a perfect fit! Just wanted to put that out there! And I'm sure they'll pair her up with my Maksy and that will be the final nail in my coffin. URGHGHAGH

Anyway...moving on...

Chuck and Anna-Entertaining, but the guy really needs to go. He's not very good. I think he's fun to watch but I'm slowly getting over it. The one thing that I am sick to death of is his HAIR---or lack of hair. I just can't stomach it. What self-respecting man has a Mohawk?
Oh brother...how painful was it to listen to Chuck explain to SaMANtha about the lasso...spit it out buddy.

Melissa and Mark-I was already annoyed at their pre-dance squat-fest....but they won me over. That dance was awesome. I loved the black and white effect at the beginning and then the music and steps...great job! The one thing that I'm gonna say about Mark and yes this is going to be mean...so brace yourself. Was he wearing those funny groucho glasses and nose? Sure looked like it to me. Yikes Mark...YIKES.

Natalie and Alec- EXCELLENT. I really like her. She has yet to annoy me. That is a very good sign. She had excellent balance and some fancy split tricks... She also has become a lot more comfortable with being so close to Alec. I think the judges are ridiculous. Okay...you want Natalie to be more romantic and close than she already was...geez louise--THE MAN IS MARRIED. As for what Bruno blubbered...I can't say I even bothered to listen.

Aaron and Karrrina--I can barely stand to look at that little baby and his hussy. Can you even believe that there is talks that he and Karina are an item. Oh brother. Wow...her standards have sure taken a NOSE dive! That scene with Aaron crying and needing his brother from another mother to comfort him---I couldn't help but shake my head in disapproval. He bugs. She bugs. AND of course they would get the Lambada of all dances. Those producers sure are smart. They know what sells and based on the press..this might be it. I thought the dance was awful. AWFUL. I'm not sure how gymnastics fit into it at all, there was a lot of aggressive dancing that didn't flow., and a lot of unnecessary repetition. My favorite part was when they totally RUINED the ending. PERFECT. Just perfect. Oh boy... those judges comments are gonna make him cry. You can totally see the lip quivering. I'm sorry...did any of you listen to Karina's explanation for the backflip? Hysterical. NO sense...none. "We thought that when you go to the beech and you are having fun and the flip and the water and the heat...WHAT??? And I loved how Aaron was telling all of us that he won't cry this time around....you sure about that buddy?

Lacey and Mark-It's always a nice touch to include some family visits. I think I expected him to do much worse. He was actually pretty good. That song..and those singers...oh boy...that was awful. They really messed that one up! I am a little sick of all the contestants running out in the audience and stealing kisses...just wait until after the show okay?

Louie & Kelly-She auditioned for Chicago...got the lead...and then they took it away cause she couldn't dance...sure she did. She probably made the call backs and then when they realized she can't dance they cut her from the audition pool. Got the lead....yeah right. And those nails...geez...as you all know I love love love nail polish...but that's a bit much even for me. The dance was good but they went a little overboard.---THEY ALL went overboard. I think Melissa's was better. WAIT A COTTON PICKEN MINUTE...did you all hear that SaMANtha apparently played Roxy in Chicago...oh gag me! Maybe her understudy...

Joanna and Derek...(cue barf fest---NOW!) I also am not an animal person so that whole pet adoption idea didn't do a thing for me. Again...producers why do you have to make Derek and Joanna do the Lambada, too. It's not enough that Karrrina (her twin) had to dance it, too. How do they decide who dances what? Oh dear...Derek put your shirt back on. No one wants to see a prepubescent boy half naked up there...NO ONE! I hate that they love her. I hate that they are all making such a big deal about them. But Tom B. was hysterical when he said he thinks that the parents are probably in bed, too. ha ha As far as Derek thinking he can compete in the big leagues and take off his shirt with the best of them...i.e. MAKS...not quite! Keep trying!

Donny and Kym-The throwing himself on the ground during rehearsal...I'm sure your kids will love seeing their daddy throw a temper tantrum. Newsflash...kids pick up on things we say and do right??? You're in for a real treat! As for their dance...very entertaining. I think I really like the Charleston. Those dances were the most fun to watch.

Michael and Anna---I forwarded right through it... sorry...not a fan favorite. Anna is soooo boring they need to bring in Tony to spice things up a bit. There time is limited...very limited.

Chelsie and Louie-I miss Ty. That whole piece was so cute. the mini-me comment...the "I need a booster" to get on the horse...too too funny. What I love about Louie is that when the judges knock him and tear him to shreds---he gets this smirk on his face as if his grandpa said something totally old-fashioned. I love it. He's such a good sport...no crying for this guy.

Mya and Dmitry--they are good. No doubt about it.

And finally the show ends and I can catch some shut eye.

Keep Dancing,

Len-da Isa-ba

Maksy eliminated...

2009-10-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

Disgusted! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!

Maks and Debi were way better than Chuck, the Football player snoozefest, Tom DeLay, and many more...

I'm really not interested in the season now!

But I will include a link to an article from People.com that is entitled something that brings music to my ears...

Maks: I'm done with Karina!

Whoever wrote that piece is a literary genius!

Enjoy---
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20310823,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Week 3---I can't believe it's only week 3.

2009-10-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

So we begin another week and already with just the grand entrance I have so so much to comment on. However, I think I'll pace myself. I just want to give an honorable mention to Dmitry & Maks and the costume folks....NICE WORK on dressing or better said...undressing them this week. hee hee hee

As I'm sure you all noticed it's easy to spot who would be rumba-ing and who will be salsa-ing...Thank goodness Tom DeLay is soooo not rumba-ing. What a horrid mental picture.

I'm glad Lenny boy is back. I miss that ole' chap...chip chip cherrio lad. (Whoa girl...where did that come from?)

Lacy and Mark---Rumba -I'm sorry you Mark fans out there--but he is just not a sexy dance icon. I suppose he's a good looking man...but he doesn't ooze what the Rumba requires...and we all know what that is (think Maks or Dmitry). It was like watching my dentist dance. Actually...come to think of it...he looks a lot like my dentist...and I think that's what KILLED it for me! I think my next dental visit will make for an awkward one...great...just great. As if dental visits aren't bad enough. WAIT...Kathy Ireland..is married to Mark the food network guy??? I swear he was holding Kathy's hand at the beginning of his dance. Did you guys think that, too?

Joanna & Derrick--Okay first off...Derrick's peach fuzz makes me sick.---S-I-C-K. I can't even describe it. It's like watching a very annoying kid go through puberty. Yuck! I can't stand Joanna and I literally laughed out loud when she said, "A few of the other contestants have a bigger fan base than I do..." ---Yeah...you think???...that's the under statement of the YEAR! However, I didn't notice her invisalign so she might have gotten a hold of my review from last week and worked on my suggestions. Here's a suggestion for you. Just quit. You'll never win.

Mya & Dmitry--I like her. She's real, clever, and well...someone who has great concentration ability---geez louise that dance was quite close in proximity if you will. Oh brother...Carrie Ann and her self proclaimed lift police title is back...grrrr And what's the deal with everyone being able to do the splits? Is that a new requirement for the show?? Yeah the dance was good but 2 --10's??? Uh come on...that's perfection!? Would you say that was perfection? No...Dmitry?--well yeah I'd say he's pretty close to it...but the dance...no. (And no...Maks and I aren't over...it's just that Dmitry could almost be his kid brother---just a general observation on those Russians)

Melissa & Mark--All I know is that there was this one part in the dance that looked so freaking uncomfortable. Like they had their pant zippers stuck and they were frantically trying to come apart...egads...the rest was okay I guess. Nothing too spectacular there. Over it.

Oh and a random note about Carrie Ann's million zillion necklaces---I wish someone would wrap them around just a wee bit tighter...she bugs. And I noticed SaMANtha had those same necklaces, too...might as well wrap hers tighter, too. Those 2 are just something else....(shaking my head)

Louie & Chelsie-- How cute is he? I was busting up at how excited he was about this dance and how he knew all the ins and outs of what a Rumba involves...including the slicked back wet hair. Hysterical! Watch out Julianne..you have been replaced. Chelsie is officially the new hottie on the block and I love her personality so much more than Julianne's which says a lot! Cause you all know how much I loved Julianne. Len is a prude! A total TOTAL prude!!!!! I can't believe Len gave a 5??? That man is delirious! But Louie... a true smooth dude...not even bothered by Len's craziness...just graciously said I'm happy cause my scores went up. Stupid Len...bring back Baz...that sissy liked everyone and anyone!

Maks & Debi--What the heck was my man wearing during rehearsal...that black and orange tanktop...I think that he must have borrowed that from my closet. It's okay. I forgive him. We share everything.---A quick shout out to Mel B. I love Mel B. That was Maks' best partner. It was nice to see her pop in.--Okay back to this season. Folks please don't be fooled for a minute when Maks tells Thebi to stop talking. He's not being mean...there is only one reason and one reason only for the request--He's over that lisp! I'm certain of it. Poor baby! I don't know how long I could listen to that myself. As I'm sure you all guessed when the dance first opened...I knew Len was gonna hate that intro but Maks shaking his rump totally made up for it! And I'm with Bruno for once...you have a hot hunk dancing with you and you don't touch him?? That woman has lost her marbles. Geth her outh of there and puth Nathalie in her plathe. She would be perfect with my Maksy.

Donny and Kym--I have to say...picturing Donny in the Rumba is a little unsettling. True...he's really growing on me...but him all seductive and sexy...ewww... However, even with that queasy feeling, I was willing to give it a chance and perhaps he would shock me. Well...hmmm...okay---then the dance begun and I was right...ewwww --save that side of you for the bedroom. But of course Len would like it...prude---okay the whole Bruno thing...had me screaming out loud---I laughed at first but then I started to get nervous. You're soooo right Donny-Utah might not let you back after that close call. But now, I fear, it's time I give Donnoy a lecture...Cut out some of the theatrics...it's a little tooo much like Marie. That was very borderline for me. He needs to watch that! Or BAM he's cut off from my kindness. Wait wait wait...Donny gets a 7 and Louie gets a 5---B.S. Total B.S.

Paula---you're not a judge...You were a judge on a totally different show and network but you're not one now! And you're not the next Kenny Main or Adam Corolla...or Len-da...so keep your trap shut and take your meds--cause we don't need your opinions or your ideas of you and Carrie Ann making out. Really...who does she think she is? I think she needs to..forget about taking "two steps forward" and just work on taking many many "steps back"--cause honey..."opposites do not attract" in this town....

Michael & Anna---zzzzzzzzz---I totally forwarded it. I think we should have selected Mayo as our new pro dancer...cause she's boring.---I think they go this week.

Natalie & Alec--Oh how I missed Edyta and that accent more than you'll ever know. Natalie is so cute. I would be just as awkward looking at someone like that.---but you know what's more embarrassing?? Ending the dance with your face in Alec's crotch...that's way more awkward. Careful what you wish for honey...

Anna & Chuck--I love how he called it the most flamboyant dance...sooooo so true. Oh dear...pulling off those sleeves threw him off. Maybe he should be the one to go. Sorry Chuckster..but you're done.

Aaron and Karrrrrrrina-- Guess what Aaron boy---Hugh Hefner called & he wants his smoking jacket back. That's all I'm gonna say...cause I'm tired...very very tired and to think I'm staying up for Karina...that's just wrong.

I have to say one quick thing...isn't it funny how when Maks and Karina had that horrible little period where they were boyfriend/girlfriend (One I am choosing to pretend never happened)...Samantha and ever other schmuck on the show made such a big deal of it...well where is all the big deal making now? Huh?--Come on...let's hear about the break up. I'd love to hear the juicy details...come on ABC...break ups sell... Okay, that's it....

Tom & Cheryl...Oh boy our first injury of the season---just put the darn man out of his misery. I hate the whole "I won't give up!" business---If you're really injured...give it up!--there is no shame in withdrawing when you're in pain.--But I do give him credit for at least letting me see the disaster that we all knew was about to unfold (unlike Jewel or Nancy O'dell who didn't even attempt a dance!--Chickens). I'm sure I'll find some morsal of humor in Tom's performance. Like when he rolled his hips...oh dear...don't ever do that again! EVER! I loved Len's comment,"I wouldn't be judging if I had 2 stress fractures...let alone dancing." funny funny funny.

Kelly & Louie---She's ...how do I put this...hard to look at. She really is...That hair...Or that blubbering all the time...come on...you're not dying...She actually did pretty good. So you see...all that crying for nothing. ---That kiss at the end...ewwww...she totally planted one on him and from the look on Louie's face- I don't think he was okay with it.

Well that's it for now...

Keep Dancing,

Len-da Isa-ba

Week 2 and already slacking

2009-09-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

Hey folks...sorry for the delay in my review. I did watch it on Monday but I was soooo tired and there was nothing really too exciting that happened other than Tom DeLay, Kelly Osborne, and Mark the Food Network guy...having some near and real falls. That of course was most exciting for me.

I'm gonna go quick...so try and stay with me...think of it as a QUICK STEP type of review.

I don't get the whole muppets thing...in fact, I thought that was stupid. I guess I'm not the biggest muppets fan---however Karrrria calling herself Miss Piggy was a true delight---hearing that kiss ass Samantha say..."oh no never...I would never call you that"--made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Maks is still a jerk during rehearsals and well...I loved it. I know he would never talk to me like that because I'd give him a titty twister if he did. (I might give him one anyway--ha ha) No seriously...he can get a tad intense but hey...it is what it is...

That "model" Joanna...who by the way, I've never heard of before--CAN and SHOULD take out her "Invisalign" retainer/braces thinga-ma-jig during the one on one interviews. It's extremely distracting---and please don't tell me you never noticed. She doesn't wear it during performances just rehearsals (which is okay---but when you're on the camera talking to the audience about nothing but yourself---please take it out!) oh oh oh and how can I go on without saying how ANNOYING Derrick is this season. My goodness. He's a total spaz. Oh that Derrick and his wild hair and antics. GRRRRRR

I can't believe I'm gonna say this but Donny grew on me this week. He's not really quite as annoying as his sister so I might have to retract my Donnoy nickname...key word is MIGHT. I'll have to wait and see for now.

Aaron Carter still acts ghetto...that's getting just a tad old.

Umpa-louie-pa is so cute. I really like his little smile and the partnership he has with Chelsea. I hope they last a little while. Call me Len-da but he could use a hair makeover. BIG TIME.

Tom DeLay, Kathy Ireland, and the football dude and his ZERO personality professional partner can go, too!

Mya is doing hella good. I like Dmitry. So...good work.

Kelly---quit your crying..it's way too early for the waterworks.

Melissa Joan Hart...I think she put on her grandma's dentures...what's up with her teeth??

I missed Len.

Bruno needs to take a seat and stop standing for his critique...seriously...JUST SIT DOWN.

As for the results show...didn't watch much of it at all...a lot of forwarding. BUT---I was extremely nervous for my Thebi and Makth. I'm glad they made it. However, I think I need to start voting cause it's not looking good for him---excuse me...them.

Oh and don't forget to vote for the whole "Create the Dance" thing they've got going on...this week we select the celebrity we want to come back and dance. I am voting for Mel B!!!!

Well, folks...that's it for this week.

I'm perfecting my "Karrrina" for a future video...stay tuned.

Keep dancing---
Len-da Isa-ba

Season 9 First 2 eliminations!!

2009-09-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

The ones that have departed were right on. No surprises there. As much as I wanted Macy Gray to hang on a few more weeks to see her try and attempt a lift...that dream was squashed. However, I felt surprisingly very sorry for her. She looked devastated. I was expecting tears would come rushing out any minute. In fact, the other "stars" saw it, too. You might have noticed them buzzing in the background (and yes...I read lips...so I literally saw, "I feel so bad for her")

Anyway, she and Ashley took the defeat well and moved on.

How funny was the Adam Corolla bit?? I know a certain someone who was in heaven at that very moment. So for you Monica...He was outstanding. I laughed out loud at the, "Donny...you're 51 years old. When can we start calling you Don?" I loved it!

A little bit of funny trivia that some of you probably don't know. I got an email about 2 weeks ago asking me if I want to participate in the live audience for the taping of the Lion King performance we saw last night. The fine print in this email said, none of the stars of DWTS will be there---no judges, pros, hosts...anyone. It's just a special recording for a Macy's Lion King performance. Well, last night...they would have the viewers believe that the Lion King performance was live. Well, it wasn't. In fact, it was a completely different audience than the one that was at last night's elimination show. So, the funny part is, after the performance (by the way...it was awesome and trust me the entire production is worth seeing) but anyway...after the performance and the return back from commercial. Tom Bergeron says, "You should have seen the smile on Tom DeLay's face when that giant elephant came down the steps..." The woman in the audience behind Tom Bergeron had this look of absolute confusion...like.."huh??? what?? what elephant?? I didn't see an elephant???" It was priceless because of course you didn't...don't worry lady...you haven't lost your marbles. It never happened!!! Anyway, it cracked me up. Sneaky little producers...

And finally...was anyone else emotional over the tribute to Patrick Swayze??? I loved it. It's performances like that, that make me appreciate the beauty of dance and how it can really speak volumes!

Well...week one is done and I'm pooped.

Keep Dancing..
Len-da

Season 9 Premiere--night 2- The ladies

2009-09-23T08:02:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen a travesty has occurred. The first time in 9 seasons, my tivo malfunctioned and didn't record. YES, it's true. I couldn't believe it! I think I'm being punished for my droolfest over Maks the other day. I got home late last night and I decided to start watching the show at 9:30pm. When I noticed it had not recorded, I was extremely bummed, but I realized I had tuned in precisely at the moment of the relays. So...like a true champ, I got over it and got to work. (I'm sure I'll catch what I missed tonight...on the 4 hour recap show!!!)

Let's just say that the last 30 minutes was all I needed to see.

The first dance---The foxtrot.
I think that Thebi Mathar and Makth are thoing very wellth. Ith isth a thrue pleathure to wath them performth. (that lisp however hath got to go!)

I really do think she's got talent and if she can get some fans and lose that lisp...they might be okay. My favorite part was when Thebi Mathar said, "I loved being elegant and laying on Maks" and for the first time in DWTS history Samantha made a funny!!! She said, "I think there are many women out there who would love to lay on...nevermind...I'll leave that one alone" I'm impressed...truly impressed.

I can't stand that model Joanna. I gather she did well last night cause the judges just kept going on and on about her...well...let me tell you all something. If you didn't watch the show SuperStars (FYI--Maks won!) you didn't get the chance to see what a poor sport she is. She is very competitive and when something doesn't go her way she flips on the "witch" switch. Just wait until she has a bad night and the judges get a little harder on her...you'll see a side of her that you might be surprised about. AND of course she'd be paired with Derrick of all people. I'm thrilled because WHEN-- not IF--- but WHEN they do get eliminated...2 people that I don't like will be gone. I wait patiently for that day!

Kathy Ireland should just go home now. She's gorgeous but can't move...and she can't seem to fit in the camera shot---so adios sista!

The swimmer...ahhh...nothing to get excited about.

The second dance--The Cha Cha
Oh dear...Macy Gray. My goodness. There are just no words. NONE. Okay, there might be some. It looks like Macy got an anvil dropped on her head and she's still woozy from the crash!! I mean she's ready to hit the floor at any moment. You know like she just got off those horrible spin you round and round carnival rides and is trying to regain her balance. She's higher than a kite! I really need her to stay around a lot more cause I'm busting up watching her! BUSTING UP!

Sabrina the teenage witch-- did pretty good. I'll have to wait and a see a little more with her.

Mya--Shmya...I don't see why everyone was soooo excited about her.

The most surprising for me was of course Kelly Osborne. She did great and she truly looks like she's been dreaming of being a contestant on this show. She's loving this! and guess what...I love it, too. I'm really rooting for her to stick around a while. She also was very gracious backstage and eloquent in her answer to Samantha (who I still think will reveal she's pregnant this season!).

Finally, the last thing I want to bring up is something that I really should have discussed yesterday. What's the deal with Marie (Kill me now) Osmond and Jermaine Jackson sitting together?? And more importantly why do they insist on showing Marie before and after every commercial break. Geez Louise...

Well folks...I think the double elimination will include Tom and Kathy.

Season Nine Premiere--(night 1 of 3)

2009-09-22T07:35:00.000-07:00

Welcome back my fine friends!!! Season 9 is here and of course ABC is gonna drag this out for 3 nights. Oh brother. Here is a thought--how about we don't start with 40 couples off the bat? hmmmm??? If we started with 10 couples we could probably get to every couple and still finish in 1 hour. I love this show but 2 hours for 3 nights???...is just darn ridiculous.

But anyway...when I heard that the women and Macy Gray (I'm not quite certain she's a woman yet) would be dancing Tuesday night, I almost turned the TV off. If Maks is not performing then I might as well call it a night--so with eyes rolling, some grumbling under my breath and while reaching for the remote to hit the OFF button--- I hear the music, I see the flashing lights and of course they hooked me in. More specifically..I saw that my precious Maksy and his back up dancers were descending to that shiny dance floor---My heart started beating and my eyes were fixed on him. No need for the remote except for maybe to hit pause on guess who??---(okay Linda...wipe the drool and move on already. You'll have to excuse me...he is single again. Who didn't see that coming??)

General Observations:
1. Is Samantha pregnant?? Never in my life have I wanted to hear that announcement made about someone. Just think of it...Samantha pregnant=MATERNITY LEAVE which in turn = a very nice break for the viewers.
2. Do any of you have any idea how much joy it brought me to see Cheryl paired with Tom?? Hysterical. She needed a good kick off her pedestal from last seasons very touchy grabby love fest with the gypsy Gilles. Take that you hussy!
3. Good grief Kathy Ireland...could you move any slower coming down those stairs? Was she using a cane? I know the stairs have proven to be slippery but come on! I'm aging here!
4. I can't stand that so-called model Joanna. Probably because she looks like Karrrrrina! Both trash.
5. Macy Gray---tame the Afro baby...I can't see your partner (oh who cares...it's only Jonathan). I can't wait to see her perform. If it's anything like her singing performances...we're in for a treat! A real treat!
6. Nice dye job Bruno...I believe you are more of a walnut dream rather than blackest black.

Now on to the dancers.

1. Aaron and Karina-
Okay Aaron..newsflash...you're white!
You had a hit record at 8 years old? Really? I highly doubt that! Your only real claim to fame is being one of the Backstreet Boys' kid brother. Get over yourself. Antother thing what's with Carrie Ann saying , "My, my Aaron...you're all grown up" Hands off you cougar---I don't think he's legal yet. And finally... Any moron that calls Karina a hottie or an ideal coach because she's beautiful---is officially on my "You disgust me list"

2. Anna and Chuck-
I just want to say that I'm pretty certain he was picturing Anna as that big blue punching bag he uses during workouts. Because while dancing he tried his little heart out to smile but instead just looked constipated. A real pity. And it didn't appear that Anna appreciated the very poetic Samantha calling her a "thing"--She's still the idiot I remember.

3. Edyta and Ashley-
He's a comedian? Yeah...sure. and I'm a politician! Boy oh boy did Orange Hamilton look bad or what? I didn't think it was possible to get more orange but some how he managed. Keep it up and you'll lose that signature mole of yours. Anyway...it's pure music to my ears, hearing Edyta say, "Pooosh poosh"-- that accent kills me every time! I'm a tad surprised he got a 4 and Mo"huck" Chuck got a 6. Come on!

4. Donny and Kym--
One word---ANNOYING! That fool manages to annoy me the first second he's on. He gets no "puppy love" from me. His new name is Donnoy---cause he Donnoys the crap out of me! Already with the shenanigans---running across the floor, making those stupid "performance faces"--Get ready folks...we're in for a very very long season! I do love that the judges called him out on being a little too "showy"---a little? Paahlese! Oh and I get it...Marie is gonna be in the audience...no need to show her every 2 minutes.

5. Louie and Chelsea-
Holy moly---Willy Wonka's umpalumpas called and want to know when you'll be back at the candy factory??? (I know that was mean...but something is just not right there!) And if you had any doubt about what's really going on there...his circus tricks proved it!.. Yes, I'm mean...but who cares, you guys all eat it up. I say the things you'd never say yourselves, right?...Bruno HOWEVER--has no right to call him "a cute dancing hobbit"---Oh really...now there is the smurf calling the hobbit short...At least Umpa"louie"mpa is cute and clever...unlike you...

6. Michael and newbie Anna-
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7. Tom and Cheryl-
Pure joy...it's just so fitting that she get paired with him. I love my little conservatives!

8. Mark and Lacey-
I literally almost forgot them. So that shows you I'm not very interested in these two. Lacey the self proclaimed rebel looked a little thick to me (sorry but had to say it) and finally when Carrie Ann said she's happy that the Asians are being represented...I practically puked. Uhhhh hello...what about Kristi Yamaguchi???You weren't so thrilled then. What? You're only happy when the MALE asians represent? How about I Kung Fu fight your face in!

Dancing Relays...
Just make the show 1 hr and 30 min.---okay???

Looking forward to Maks...errr...I mean the ladies dancing tonight. Until then...

Keep Dancing.
Len-da Isa-ba---

Season 9 Cast revealed...anyone else scratching their head??

2009-08-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well folks--it's been a long long long time since I've checked in on the "official" Dancing with the Semi-Stars blog and as you can tell. I've completedly revamped the site. It now is called---Dancing with anyone who says, "Sure I'll do it"

I've been toying with the idea of completely skipping this season. I'm so disappointed in the contestants (they will not be called stars! EVER!)

But because I do have my own little following now...I can't disappoint the readers!

Let's get to the couples.

Mya, singer, and Dmitri Chaplin---I love how they have to tell us, she's a singer.

Melissa Joan Hart, actress, and reigning DWTS champ Mark Ballas- Sabrina the teenage witch??? What's going on here? When did ABC become KCAL 9 or channel 13--(reject channels) I mean really???

Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy, and Anna Demidova- Don't know who they are...and don't care.

Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter, and Edyta Sliwinska- Apparently, Ashley is a man. Good to know.

Aaron Carter, singer, and Karina Smirnoff-Great---just great. My arch-nemisis gets paired with a young wannabe (his brother was in Backstreet Boys--a fine boy band if I do say so myself!) The youngens...typically stay on long. I can't stand to see her smug face as she reminds me she's marrying my boyfriend.

Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman, and Tony Dovolani--"former model turned business woman" Is that code for ---I used to look good but now I don't? I haven't seen Kathy in a while and she is a beautiful lady---but that introduction really makes me expect the worst.

Debi Mazar, actress, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy--How dare they put the champion of the show Superstars with Debi Mazar....who is Debi Mazar?? If it's who I think it is...I'm not impressed. He's a champion and he needs a champion by his side. I'm available baby! (Athough I haven't actually been declared champion of anything)

Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer, and season 1 champ Alec Mazo--Season 1 Champ??? Oh brother...let it go already. No one watched season 1 okay!! Just call him the football head who's married to Edyta "Legs" Sliwinska.

Louie Vito, snowboarder, and Chesie Hightower--I remember Chelsie and I even liked her a lot but Louie Vito??? Who's he? Do you think he's Italian?? heh heh heh

Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ, and Anna Trebunskaya--Oh no...Anna's back? I hate ultimate fighting anything...this should be intersting. She's can get quite nasty with her partners---but Chuck might just pop her one in the mouth to give her a reality check.

Donny Osmond, singer, and Kym Johnson--This makes me sick. That means...we'll be seeing Marie ALL THE TIME. I couldn't handle her the season she was on...and I know I won't be able to handle her now...I'm sure she'll plug nutrisystem and credit that for losing her 50 pounds. Oh go make a doll or something and stay away!

Tom DeLay, former congressman, and two-time Dancing champ Cheryl Burke--I'm over Cheryl and her slutty outfits.

Macy Gray, singer, and Jonathan Roberts--This is a beautiful pairing. JUST beautiful. Macy Gray is crazy and Jonathan has already been partnered with Marie Osmond--so he knows crazy!

Joanna Krupa, model and actress, and season 7 champ Derek Hough--Ladies...Derek is now officially on the market again. (Ewwwwww) oh and is this the same Joanna that was on Superstars with T.O.??? If so...what are they thinking? She's awful.

Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality, and Lacey Schwimmer--Let's see if she keeps up her antics for a third year.

Kelly Osbourne, reality star, and Louis Van Amstel--Oh dear. Oh ..oh...dear!

So dear friends and readers---as you can see, I'm really considering not continuing the reviews for this season. Between the horrible cast and SaMANtha---how can I possibly survive???

Sooo---who's watching?

The biggest shocker...

2009-05-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...
By now we all know that Shawn Johnson took the trophy ball! I must say I was shocked at 2 things...

1. That she beat out the gypsy gigalo Gilles and
2. That they managed to make a results show 3 hours long. Of course I didn't watch it all.

Anyway, that ends this season of DWTS and this season of My Reviews and News...
Until next season...I bid you all a fine farewell.

On a different note, I'd like to give you all an update on my Maksy
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20280046,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Once you finish the article--my following comments will make much more sense.
First off...do any of Maks's shirts have buttons?
Second, when my boyfriend proposed to me---I couldn't wait to be Mrs. Isai---the fact that they are in no rush...proves how this won't last.
Third and finally---Maks is going to be in an athletic reality show...woo hoo...count me in!

Finally---The Finals!

2009-05-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys...but I'm so ready for this season to end. I think they started with entirely too many couples. I'm exhausted. Also, this is the first season I didn't vote. That tells you right there...I'm over it!

I realize that I never reviewed last week's show...here's another shocker...I didn't watch it.

I did watch last night's episode and I was thrilled beyond thrilled to see that it was only 1 hour long.

So here we go...
How absolutely stupid and ridiculous was that bit including Len calling Carrie Ann (who was casually having a salad---BY HERSELF) and Bruno (Speedo City---ewwww---let's keep it covered shall we??) Anyway, back to the craziness. That was so scripted and so poorly acted.

Once that time filler was over and we had the combo dance off---we had other craziness present. Bruno takes the prize for most orange, Melissa takes the prize for the glow in the dark teeth--wait not just glow in the dark...more like beaming in the abyss, and Gilles takes the prize for the biggest gypsy we've ever had on this show.

I'd like to pause here to address a common misconception---Romanians are not gypsies. Gypsies are simply put...GYPSIES---they are a nation without a land. Nomads, wanderers...that sort of thing. They are commonly found in Europe and I guess the king...set up the official camp in beautiful Romania years and years ago. So--with that said...my mother (a very sassy and quite funny woman) pointed out to me just a few weeks ago that Gilles is not a Frenchman...He is 100% prime gypsy meat. You know what??? I totally believe her. Grab your purses and hold on to your wallets cause Gillespy is heading in for the kill. AND---AND---if there was any doubt whether or not he is indeed a gypsy like my mother claims---that costume was proof enough for me. If you'd like more information on Gypsies... please visit this site at your own leisure. http://www.geocities.com/~patrin/history.htm Okay enough about that...

The group dance was okay---the singers did an awful job. Melissa messed up quite a few times, Gilles was practically leaving a trail of oil from his hair and Shawn was just okay. I was shocked and disgusted when Melissa---who let me remind you---messed up and they all said it...got two 10's?? Uh...since when is does a mess up equal perfection---since the show allowed gypsies on it apparently. Okay...okay I'll drop the gypsy thing.

I know I've threatened this before...but the show is this close to me shutting it off forever. (who am I kidding?)

Don't you all just love how Carrie Ann says this is her favorite season of all times...EVERY SEASON. Oh stop your lies, Woman!

Now the moment we all wait for...THE FREESTYLE---
Shawn and Mark---(quick little note....I missed Apollo---that was a good season) It was by far my favorite dance of last night. It was high energy, creative, there were smooth transitions, and they seemed very much in sync.

Melissa and Tony--Wow Tony...was that shirt painted on? Holy Cazow Batman! I have to agree with judges...although it was better than other freestyles I've seen on the many seasons of this show...it wasn't the best.

Gilles and Cheryl---"I need to be on you"---that direct quote from slutsville Cheryl sums up the entire season for them. Here's another one that I came up with to accurately describe this combo. "Would you like a room?"---DISGUSTING.

1 more thing...did I fast forward or was last night the first night that horrid singer with the head dresses not make her way into the camera shot?? What a way to end the season!

So my final prediction is that Gilles wins the trophy. I'm not happy about this at all. At this point...please let it be Shawn---but honestly, I don't' really care---you'll be lucky if I even watch it.

Signing off--
Len-da

Is it the quarterfinals?

2009-05-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well, as always...I'll get right into it with some general observations. I know we've discussed the ridiculous spray tans before but you know we've reached a whole new level of ridiculous when Len Goodman gets down and gets orange. My word! Every single line in his face is now magnified where the spray tan settles and clumps. Tsk tsk tsk Lenny boy...you caved! How disappointing!

Samantha has reached a whole new level of skinny. I guess she's worried they won't renew her contract so she's working out extra hard to be thin and stylish. Well, missy---if you do get your contract renewed I'LL BE SHOCKED!

THE SHOW IS NOW BACK TO 2 HOURS?!?! Oh brother, so much filler last night. We all know the results show is nothing but filler and that's annoying enough but the performance show does not need to be 2 hours now---we have 5 couples left. 5!!! We can easily get this thing down to 1 hour!

Now on to the dancing part of the show---(filler schmiller with the pros doing 2 group dances.) They were very good and always entertaining but it's really unnecessary. Those 2 segments alone were like 20 minutes! You know what else is unnecessary??? The 3 judges telling America what the remaining dancers need to work on. WE KNOW---you tell us after every single dance what you like and what you don't like!!! Geez Louise. Can we say overkill?

Shawn and Mark-
Mark needs to settle down some and stop out dancing Shawn. They look so unbalanced. She's wayyyy too precise and gym"mechanical"nastics---It seriously looks like a floor routine in heels. She's a sweet girl and a hard worker but she doesn't look natural out there. Her first dance was okay, but I personally liked the second one better. I think the Paso Doble suits her mechanical dance style. However, did anyone else miss her solo?---Solo??? What solo? It must have been pretty unimpressive for me to not even notice.

Ty and Chelsie
What in the world was that clip of Ty in a leopard bathrobe doing on this show??? That was so unnatural. Do you really think Ty the BULL rider wears a big plush leopard print bathrobe right before he goes to bed? I DON'T THINK SO FOLKS! That was the most ridiculous bit EVER. Then they show Jewel putting her hands on his shoulders and asking him, "Honey, are you coming to bed?" Oh pah-lese!!! Who the heck do you think you're fooling? HOG WASH! I really do like Chelsie and I just can't believe she hasn't annoyed me once. That's near impossible to do. Now on to Ty's second dance....that was a Rumba??? How? That looked nothing like a Rumba---where was the seduction?, the romance?, the dance of love??? NOT THERE! Ty really did suck something fierce in that dance but I just loved that ending. Jewel was busting up and rightfully so. That was too funny and too cute. I also loved that he hopes that ending will pay dividends later on. He doesn't miss a beat. (Samantha...take some lessons from Ty---even he's got better interviewing skills!)--Last but not least--second dance had some major boob grabs by Ty!---MAJOR!

Big head Kim and Derek--
Why the big surprise that Kim can't do ballroom? There is nothing classy and elegant about her! Duh! That song they had to dance to, my goodness that singer sounded awful. Voice cracking, off key issues---oooooo it was bad. As for Bruno and his opinions of Little Kim---well, I think it's best he tell you himself... (don't forget---pause the music down below---before hitting play)

You'll have to pardon my horrific look---I literally threw my costume together in minutes. I know my videos have been missed, especially by my little niece who thinks I'm her silliest Aunt. I can't disappoint her! So enjoy Amanda...that's all for you!

Back to Bruno's very harsh comment of calling her a tramp---notice the only other person clapping (besides Little Kim) was Marlee Matlin---she must have misread his lips and thought he said something like..."You try to be a lady but you're more comfortable as a lamp." That's the only explanation , I can think of as to why Marlee would be clapping. Even I think Bruno took it a little too far. He's so full of it...blaming the blunder on his comment being lost in translation. YEAH RIGHT! You better watch your back Buttface-runo Little Kim's got some BIG friends in the audience who have her bionic back! It was nice to see Lil body, big head Kim realize she got insulted while she was back stage---it's about time you get a clue and realize calling you raunchy and bitchy is not a compliment!---she looked seriously bummed--oh well, she's lived through harder times...she'll get through this, too.

Cheryl "Boobs" Burke and Gilles--They know they are good and they are, but I just don't want Cheryl to win. She's really annoyed me this season and if I have to see that black and purple zip up warm up suit outfit during her rehearsals ONE MORE WEEK---I'll die! Notice, when Gilles mentioned back stage that the two of them have such a good vibe between them and Samantha said, "Yeah, we all know that!"---oooo man oh man...Cheryl did not like that comment one bit! The truth hurts, huh? The second dance was a little too much. I know Cheryl's been waiting all season to do this dance with him and I'm thrilled---just thrilled--it didn't turn out as they expected. The song---"Sexual Healing"---really? The rolling around on the floor?? Wow---that's not breaking any ballroom dance rules or rules of commitment, trust and marriage for that matter. Honestly, the way those 2 carry on...I'm just sick over it! Did I mention the lips touching at the end?? I'm done...DONE DONE DONE! you HOMEWRECKER!!! okay, now I'm done!

Tony and Injured Melissa (injured my foot!) she looked fine to me! She had a bad night as far as costumes were concerned. Her first outfit--what's the point in wearing a skirt if it's gonna be sheer? I could see her tighty whities! I also just love how she keeps touching her ribs to remind us all that she's injured. WHATEVER! As you know, I'm not the biggest fan of hers but I do like Tony and I think it's time he wins! The second dance...well you all saw it...her boob was hanging out of her sequence bra. I was dying---she was dying...AMERICA WAS DYING!!! I even noticed Carrie Ann sneaking a peek at her peak at the ending. I think Len needed some medication for sure on that one! Carrie Ann called that dance flawless (and it was good--for a busted rib and all-ha ha ha) but here's something Melissa can work on for next week---how about getting a costume that fits! So there!!!

Last but not least---I think Little Kim should give some of her big head to Mayo---that professional has got one ridiculously small head for that body of his. If he wins---I'll have so much to say about that next season! Oh dear! My mind is just spinning thinking about it. When Lisa "Big lips" Rhinna said, "I just hope I make Mayo look good!" My first thought was, IMPOSSIBLE"---not matter how good you dance---he'll still have that fist size head. (I'm such a jerk!)

Well folks, that's all she wrote...

Keep Dancing,

Len-da

A day late and a dollar short---

2009-04-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

Okay guys...sorry again for my late reviews. Maybe if this gig came along with a paycheck I wouldn't be so negligent. Anyway, I was a sickly girl yesterday and pretty much slept all day. Don't worry folks it wasn't the swine flu---although my mother was convinced it was. We'll save that story for another day---on to the review.

We'll start with that gal that was missing in action--Melissa. I only want to say one thing about her...those Capri jeans she was wearing in rehearsals---hmmm---could they get any lower? I feared we'd see some curlies any minute. (pardon the crudeness...I'm still not all better and my mind is a tad fuzzy.) I couldn't believe Tony Dovoloni was almost crying during the interview with Samantha---normally I would say Samantha is so bad she made Tony cry--but this time I fear he wants the title so bad that he's going for the pity vote. Poor Tony---perhaps it's time he wins.

Little Kim--Last week she jumped up and down when Bruno called her ranchy (raunchy) this week she squeals with delight when he yells, "The bitch is back!!!" What is wrong with this deformed girl? I guess in prison that's what you long to hear...that you're a bitch?? No wonder my innocent ears can't comprehend it. She's a great dancer but it just doesn't seem right that Little Kim should be our next champ...sorry...but no.

Gilles---Has there been one episode where Gilles hasn't had his shirt off? Oh come on...I'm so over it. Do I really need to see the Dr. give you a cortisone shot in your shoulder with your shirt off, of course? No...what I do need to see is you dropping Cheryl on her head more often. That was pure entertainment. I'm sure Gilles was just distracted by your boobs coming out of your track suit!

Shawn--there is no way that girl is 17. She looks 40! Goodness. Judges--for the last time it is not appropriate for you to be saying how sexy Shawn is becoming and that she's now a little vixen when her mommy and daddy are in the audience. The girl is not even old enough to vote folks...let's not rob her of all her innocence okay? In my opinion, Shawn doesn't look natural out there. All her moves are way to precise and not fluid. She looks like she's just following a gymnastics floor routine. She goes from one move to the next and she looks way to mechanical. I know she's America's sweetheart but I must report the truth. I think Mark way out dances her, too.

Ty--That fool's got a six pack? Wow...who knew? I think he is so hysterical. I would love it if he won. He's so southern and his sense of humor is so dry and it just makes me laugh. I thought he did very well in both styles of dance. I definitely think he deserves to stay longer than Shawn and Chuck (yes I said it...and as well all know by now...he did make it longer than Chuck!) I loved the spray tan business. I also love the friendship between him and Chelsie. He's got my vote!

Chuck--Well, we all know his fate by now...but it's okay. He and Julianne are still a couple...for now...and well, he did improve in the last few weeks. I don't know if I'm too bummed he left. My prediction streak is officially over and that's okay. I'm too busy now--- writing reviews! This is the first season I haven't voted---perhaps that has something to do with my pick not winning. Does Len-da Isaba really have that much power???

The group dances---I liked them both. I knew the stripping down at the end of Team Mambo's dance wouldn't go to well with the judges---when will these people ever learn? I didn't think Team Tango deserved a 10 when Little Kim--big head--big butt had such an obvious mess up! Stupid, unfair, already have their favorites picked Judges!

Well, I guess that about covers it. Oh---one last thing about Samantha---I just love it when she asks the cast questions and then immediately cuts them off. What a tool. Notice how when she starts to speak the audience starts to get very loud and crazy---I think they are trying to tune her out! Either that---or the execs are turning off her prop mic. ha ha ha

Keep Dancing
Len-da

The latest review EVER!!!--so sorry!

2009-04-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'll make this really quick because I'm sure more than half of you forgot what you saw last Monday on DWTS.

1. Chuck's boob grab was hysterical. I know a few of you gave me the heads up about it but I didn't imagine it would be soooo obvious and so soon in the dance. Good grief buddy---take a cold shower!

2. Samantha's blue dress looked awful on her...this brought be much pleasure!

3. The synchronized swimming scene with Gilles was ridiculous! I would be so humiliated if I had to get in that very loud and unflattering one piece bathing suit and then try to dance under water with Gilles. He's so thin that he would make anyone look humongo! EMBARRASSING!---Chery do us all a favor and zip up that hoodie you always wear. I don't need to see it...and neither does the married man who happens to be your partner.

4. LT put me to sleep yet again!!! So glad he's gone. In fact, I think the happiest I've seen him all season was when they told him he's done with the show! One more thing about LT---that group dance was funny, although what a poor sport. Just do the silly moves and stop the whining! I noticed he was the only one who didn't do the mini me signature pinky to the lip thing at the end...he had a peace sign held up to his lips instead...I was dying! Perhaps he should have been paying more attention during rehearsal and complained less about how stupid they looked.

5. Little Kim is the only woman who would take Bruno calling her raunchy as a compliment! Idiot. I can't stand her head. It looks like someone took a bicycle pump to her head and inflated only the top half.

6. Ty is still so funny and sweet but I fear his days are numbered. He can't do any of the Latin dances and that's appearing to be a problem. Too bad...but I did love their signature move during the group dance. Her as the bucking bronco and him as the rider. Funny stuff.

7. Tony and Melissa---I'm over her injuries...she came to the show with a broken heart (cry me a river) and now she has busted ribs...whatever!

8. Shawn and Mark---I don't get Mark's costumes at all...why does he always dress like the dork? Guess what Mark---YOU CAN'T PULL THAT OFF! so stop trying! Also, Shawn had to go to 2 different locations to accept 2 awards...great...but how is that considered "being on the road" this week? How long could that possibly take??? 2 days tops??? Just take the red eye---accept your award and go home and rehearse...I don't think you need to be gone all week to get your stinking awards.

I think I got all the couples... if not...well then...they are just that forgettable and don't deserve a spot on the review.

Until tonight...

Len-da

Week 6---Here and gone---who else is still shocked Steve-O is still here??

2009-04-14T06:58:00.001-07:00

My first impressions---
1. Little Kim in a dance surrounding the theme of prison???--Wow---talk about not having to work on getting into character for this dance. However, I think she was wearing the wrong costume...stripes belong on the jail bird missy.
2. Check out Chuck wearing the lace. Not a bad look for the country singer...not a bad look at all.
3. Shawn--the moment I saw her costume I knew she was going to dance the Rumba. Why does a 17 year old need to do the Rumba??? Seriously...I think she's more suited for the jive. The kid isnt' even legal yet! Good grief. I was already worried.
4. Boo hoo the time has come....no slips on the stairs. How boring the beginning was. It only took six LONG weeks for the entire cast to figure out...slow down, take your time, and hold on to the rail.

Moving right along---
Ty and Chelsie-I was very shocked and surprised at Ty's amazing ability to work that hula hoop...wow...not even in my hay day was I able to keep up that rhythm. A man of many talents I see. As always, I enjoyed the segment about their rehearsal but once the dance started I was disappointed. I knew the judges would be very upset with the fact that the intro was entirely too long and all he did was line dance. When he did show some Jive elements he fumbled and fell out of step a lot. Sorry---too too bad. He is so charming and sweet but that can only get you so far. Now on to the judges and their comments for him. First off, I'm so glad Tom commented on Carrie Ann's ridiculous hair. My goodness that was bad. Secondly, I noticed that even though Len had negative comments about Ty he didn't come across as mean and hurtful---the moment Bruno opens his trap all I see flashing on my TV is---JERK ALERT JERK ALERT! Really Bruno, you have no business being a bully---my 5 year old nephew can drop you in 2 seconds flat. Lastly, Carrie Ann has called Ty so cute and adorable entirely too many times this season. I'm warning you missy---Jewel won't stand for much more of that. The minute her foot completely heals it will find a nice place on your face and she'll be yodeling while she does it. Overall, not the greatest but his positive attitude and good sportsmanship makes up for it all. Good job Ty!

Shawn and Mark--There is something so unbelievably creepy about those 2 together. ESPECIALLY THIS WEEK. It must be the dance. I was very very unhappy about all the rumba-ing those 2 did. I have one word for you that sums up this whole dance---UNCOMFORTABLE! For her---for me---for the entire nation. She's 17 (like she'd let us forget it) and her life consists of eating, sleeping, and gymnastics. I don't think this girl has even been out on a date and now you want her to dance the Rumba with creepy Mark??? Ewwww Mark's shirt grossed me out (leave those little numbers for Maks please) During the dance itself I imagined for a moment what her parents were thinking in that audience. They must be dying---watching their little girl dance the dance of love and passion at 17 years old. I literally curled up into the fetal position and cried out..."Stop Stop...I can't watch anymore"---Age appropriate??? For what age?? Not for 17 that's for sure. She did a good job but that didn't stop my uneasiness during the whole thing. One other thing I want to add about Shawn---Really???--You can't take one night off to go to your high school prom?? Oh stop the theatrics...it's such a pity vote move to play on our emotions and have us believe that you can't leave the show for one day and go to your prom. People fly back and forth throughout the whole season doing other things and you can't take one night off. RUBBISH!
DISCLAIMER---my camera man was working so I literally made this video by myself...enjoy. Oh---make sure you scroll down---pause the music and then come back and hit play. Some readers couldn't hear me last time--

L.T. and Edyta-Okay let's discuss the man's teeth for a moment. I see a total of 6 teeth in his entire mouth. Anyone else get a different number? Is that his football mouth guard? What's going on there?
Anyway---he needs to go home. He's not having fun, his attitude brings down the whole experience for me. Thank goodness Warren Sapp came by to bring us a little fun. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz--oh wait...I'm awake---is that a smile I see on L.T's face? Is he actually having fun out there? Once the judges got involved---I was so annoyed at Carrie Ann and her comment to Edyta about how thrilled she is that there were not lifts and that they don't need them. Excuse me jealous...when you're 5'9" and weigh a whopping 105 lbs and your partner is a freaking huge football player---you're feet are bound to come off the ground whether you want them to or not.----Grrrrr that woman. The scores were still low...but I loved how L.T. explained to us that the reason he's put us all to sleep that last few weeks is because they were given music without words and now finally they got a song with words....yeah that's it buddy.

Melissa and Tony--Hold the phone. Melissa actually doubted she'd be able to get into the romantic character of the Rumba. PAHLEESE---you sure didn't have any trouble making out with the Bachelor after 2 dates while he's dating 24 other women!!! I have no doubt in your abilities to make out on TV---none! Please tell me you all caught the pity moment of Tony reminding her she doesn't have a ring on her finger. Stop reminding America you were the rejected one...you've got a boyfriend and you're doing just fine.--No one is buying the victim business anymore. No one! I also noticed that her parents have no qualms about appearing on TV and being public---they constantly show them in the audience. For those who didn't watch the Bachelor...(I'm ashamed to say I did)---that was such an ordeal about her parents not being okay with being in public....well folks...you're now in public and I can guarantee you more folks watch this show than the other. I wonder if this show is fixed, too and they already know she wins the trophy---hmmm something to think about.

Derek and Lil KiMortica---my dear friend Suzy brought that up---there is a very disturbing resemblance. I wish I still had the photos...next time. She looks crazy weird. Oh dear---since when is Thelma and Louise set in the 1950's?? Thank you Derek for calling her out on that. IDIOT! Now on to the costumes and the music-- Are you kidding me? Is this what we've come to--making jokes about being in jail? Besides those few annoyances the DANCE ROCKED! It was so fast, so energetic and so so entertaining. However, I think that was probably more suited for a Free Style dance--but whatever, I'll let it slide. It looks as though Carrie BANNgs was the first to lose some jewelry on the show---I knew it was coming. I only have one question for Derek---was the jailbird mentioned in the song resting in your hair---it looks like the bird aviary is baaack.

Steve-O and Lacey--1st off---where are they rehearsing? A kitchen? I see a stove, a fridge...is this Steve-o's studio apartment? Oh gross---he's a farter? Nice real---nice! He's awful and he needs to go home. He looked uncomfortable in the dance, as well as puzzled and confused. He's a good guy and I'm shocked he made it this long and has been taking this whole show so seriously but seriously buddy---it's time.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this---BUT---is it possible that I have yet to comment on Samantha??? Wow...she didn't annoy me once. She's either getting better or I'm tuning her out completely now---I think it's the latter of the 2.

Jilles and Cheryl--Oh brother get ready for a love fest. I think Jilles needs to steer clear of wearing shorts on that show cause his little chicken legs were so frail and bony I thought they would snap in 2 while he showed us his soccer moves. Not a good look for you buddy. You know what else isn't a good look---those T-Rex hands he had throughout the dance which the judges totally commented on and Jilles, the golden boy, didn't care too much for. Boy---he sure doesn't like criticism much. I didn't like the music---but I think they made it work.

Chulianne--Ding ding ding---the time has come! I called it...you called it...the fight. Let me recreate it for you---Chuck calls her mean, she says she's not mean but aggressive, he doesn't think you have to be aggressive to teach someone, he says her being mean pisses him off--oh boy---oh boy is the honeymoon over? But of course they were gonna be good...come on...they were dancing the Rumba---the dance of love. It was one hot number. I needed a cold drink after watching that one. Did anyone else feel like they were looking in their bedroom window??? But anyway---Chuck never looked better. Not once did he appear feminine to me. It totally suited them (of course) and it was cute how Chuck said this was his favorite dance.

Who knew Lenny boy was such a prude. About their scores---I realize Chulianne had an advantage over the others this week because they are a couple and they obviously have chemistry but they were robbed of some good scores. They deserved a least a couple 9's. Jerks!

Well, folks---keep dancing and I'll see you next week.

Len-da

So long DAG...so so long---

2009-04-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

I have to admit-- I didn't watch last night's episode. Can you believe that I actually forgot it was on? Wow---that's a first. I guess I was much too excited about "The Biggest Loser"--anyway that's besides the point. Poor David never got the credit he deserved so I'm happy he got sent home. All that hard work every week, and then no credit. Who needs to be put through that torture??? Not him. So long buddy---great job on losing 20 lbs!

Quick rumor alert. Word on the street is Julianne wants off the show! She's way to busy and can't seem to juggle it all. Also, she and Chuck are in some trouble romantically (who didn't see that coming?) I'll confirm when I get more details...but keep an ear out for it.

Later--

Week 5 Review---Wake up INCONSISTENT JUDGES!

2009-04-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

Okay first off---let me just say, unfortunately I have no video for you all to view this week. My very sweet and very talented camera man (Mr. Isai) was working at his real job (not his fake camera man job) and so I was not able to get another video out for you all. But, I think it's safe to say---you'll have a video next week. I have a couple ideas. I hope it's worth the wait.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way---I'd like to start off with some general comments and observations.

1. Week 5 and we have another star trip on the steps. This one, I almost missed. Julianne had a teenie little slip right before the camera panned on to the next couple. I noticed most of the dancers and stars have realized the danger of this grand staircase and tread very lightly coming down. If you recall, the first couple of weeks...we had very bouncy stars just bursting out of their shoes coming down those stairs...now ---not so much. I think the contestants need to seriously get some cleats for that grand entrance.

2. Have any of you noticed they crazy things people choose to wear during rehearsals? It's insane. I'm not talking about the obvious Edyta leg warmers---I'm referring to the sweaters (while dancing---hello--sweat city), or the scarfs, the freaking blue jeans! and let's not forget the flowy shirts over the bras...weird weird stuff. It's so strange. Just pay attention.

3. It's official---Carrie Ann and Bruno annoy me! Bruno especially. He has always irritated me but I guess before, I must have been distracted by my Maks--so I let it slide--but since he departed so quickly this season I now have nothing to look at but bRUIN-o my night! He needs to be stopped. That BruNO one likes you has really struck a nerve with me this season. But, believe it or not...he's still better than Samantha. He's that judge I love to hate----Samantha---still can't interview.

4. The judges have their favorites (Melissa, Jilles, Shawn and Lil Kim) and so the rest of the crew should just give up now.

Now on to the dances:
1. Chulianne--I felt they improved from last week. I also felt Chuck or as B"rude"no calls him...Check had his pants painted on. Yowzaaas! I felt Bruno and Len gave fair scores but Carrie Ann on the other hand, (obviously couldn't see through her lion mane hair) because she was way off in her scores with him. And this was the first time all season and probably the last that I agreed with Bruno. Carrie Ann is the annoying one...not Check's dancing! I have to mention the "down on bended knee" comment that Samantha brought up in the red room. I will admit that for a small moment, I thought Chuck was gonna ask Julianne to marry him (the good old fashioned way---on TV)---but I soon realized it was just a part of her choreography. You know Samantha was probably thinking of what to say about it and then felt so witty in coming up with her comment of " was that bended knee showing us that you're one step closer to that commitment?"--What the heck Samantha---I think they've been dating a whopping 5 months or something. Chuck's answer was perfect--"No". Julianne put on a good face but I don't think she appreciated Samantha's comments or Chuck's quick "No"---
Samantha---"I think this is what they call a comment that...BACKFIRES." Nice try---try again.

2. L.T. and Edyta- The only thing I like about this couple is Edyta. Sorry, L.T. but you're so focused (or as Edyta would say faackused) on winning that it doesn't seem like he's even having a good time. It really turns me off to him. I was hoping they would give him good scores just to lighten him up a bit but---still no success. It's obvious the judges have their favorites and there is no getting them to change their mind about it. Poor, poor Edyta---no discoball trophy for you this season. Maybe season #26.

3. Shawn and Mark---Nice outfit---NOT---that was so unflattering (it made her manly back look way more manly in that V-cut tassel thing) She looked like she was 45 not 17. Eeks. Their dancing was good but Carrie Ann is very inconsistent in her judging. Are you the lift police or not? What's up with the (and I quote) "I'll let the other lift go because it worked with the dance." What?--I believe the other lifts people do also work with the dance...you moron. But instead we allow her to continue to dock points off other contestants for lifts---while others are okay because now she feels like it. Oh brother---I'm done with her.

4. Melissa and Tony-The moment I heard Melissa say, "It is so hard for me to be serious" I couldn't help but go back to that final after the rose ceremony on the Bachelor where she was "surprisingly dumped" (to this day---i think that whole breaking up on TV thing was soooo scripted) anyway---I laughed because she wasn't believable then trying to be serious and I highly doubted she could do it now. But much to my surprise she did keep a pretty serious face for most of the dance. ---About the dance---you might all remember that the Paso Doble is my absolute favorite dance and she didn't do it justice. She wasn't on her moves, she looked shaky out there. She wasn't precise or aggressive enough. They judges kept saying how difficult the routine was---well, I don't recall seeing any fancy footwork in the choreography like Maks used to give us. Paso Doble Dance + Maks = Best routine EVER!
Anyway--I thought her scores were bogus! Once again, proving my theory that these judges have their favorites and carry them through. One final thought, similar to that stupid backup dancer and her hair necklaces---I'm over the added glitter to Melissa's tramp stamp. OVER IT!

5. David Allen Grier (DAG) and Kym "crazy eyes" Johnson-- Correct me if' I'm wrong but were they not doing the Viennese Waltz? What's up with the Paso Doble face DAG??? Wrong face buddy---wrong wrong face. That little kick he did on the steps at the beginning was okay but his landing was awful. He looked like the 'I've fallen and I can't get up" lady. Overall, I felt like they did a good job. I think Bruno's comment about the--"you look like a dog by a lamp post comment" was once again very rude and uncalled for. DAG was not happy about that! Poor guy--give him some 8's already. He's a good sport and was once again robbed of some good scores. He did way better than Melissa but you'd never know it if you saw the scoreboard!

6. Jilles and the new homewrecker of the season CHERYL---Do you know why Jilles brought his son with him to rehearsal? It's Mrs. Jilles wife's way of reminding Cheryl that he's MARRIED! HE HAS A FAMILY! I'm telling you...something is not right with Cheryl these days. What's up with her low tops during rehearsals? Every single shot has her in something low cut. They did an excellent job and I loved the fancy foot work but I don't think it was totally necessary for Jilles to be dancing sans bollero jacket. Goodness gracious! Call me crazy but even though the dance was excellent---it wasn't perfect so thank you Len you old fart...from the bottom of my heart for being REAL and not being blinded by his sweaty bare chest! As for Bruno---SIT DOWN YOU CLOWN and keep your mouth shut!

7. Steve-O and Lacey-- Bless his heart---he's trying but he's no good. He can't keep up with her and he looks like he's always off. Let this be a lesson to you kids out there---This is a direct result of alcohol and drug abuse. It's nothing to be messed with. I hate how the judges baby him. I mean come on...they are so hard on L.T---so hard on DAG and then they are so sweet and loving with Steve-O---they are either afraid Steve-O will crack under pressure or they're a tad racist. Hmmmm something to think about!

8. Ty and Chelsie-- They are so funny together. I love the way they work off one another and it's obvious they have a good friendship. Unfortunately, the judges were right...he's way too stiff. WAY WAY too stiff. I hope he stays. I also loved the "it's like having a bull named Dancer" comment back to Samantha's dumb comment. He's pretty witty and clever. Come on Samantha---a dance about a bull fight and riding a bull are basically the same?--really? ughghhgagah

9. Little Kim (I refuse to call her Lil) and Derek--I have to admit our little ghetto jailbird is pretty good. She even got a standing O from Bob Sagot---that's something to write home to your inmates about! She did confirm something I had been suspecting all along...she's nuts. The drawing on the Buddha board sealed the deal for me. And let me ask you all this...since when is the Viennese Waltz described at sassy and sexy---uh excuse me...shouldn't that dance be elegant and graceful. Aye that Bruno...he's so inconsistent, too!

And I'll close with this one last thought...
Samantha----Buddha boards and Voodoo are not the same thing and they aren't even remotely related. Geez Louise!

Always consistent---
Len-da Isa-ba

Uhhh Excuse me Cheryl...

2009-04-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

But the man you claim you've had the most chemistry with EVER---is MARRIED! You hussy! What is going on with Cheryl? I remember when she was partnered with Drew Lachey and there was talk that she was busting up that marriage, then there were reports about a little kissy kissy with Gerard Butler, then my Maksy...I'm not liking what I see or what I hear. And let me tell you this..if I was Gilles wife and I heard that declaration of "I've never felt this chemistry with anyone---ever---on the dancefloor. I didn't see anyone else in the room but you"---(yeah no kidding...you didn't see his wife in the front row either!)---anyway, if I were Mrs. Gilles...ooooo baby...watch out. She'd be toast!

Last night was by far the best elimination night because I think Samatha spoke less than 30 w0rds all night. 30 words too many---but still, I'll take what I can get!

I think you'd all like to know that one of the professionals that danced last night was Carrie Ann's ex. How awkward must that have been.

Didn't Boys II Men have 4 group members...Did we lose one?

And last but not least...hurray hurray Karrrina has gone away!

Until next week...

Week 4 --A night of newsflashes!

2009-03-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Did I mention I love the "new and improved" grand staircase??? I love it! I anxiously await the presentation of the couples every week as they come bouncing down those steps. This week I noticed everyone was taking it easy and thought to myself..."oh man--we're not gonna have a fall this week"---I love when I'm wrong! Did you all see Karrrrrina almost eat it? I'm telling you---this girl will do anything to get off this show. She's willing to take a major tumble down the stairs just to be done with the Woz! Come on..how many near falls do you have to see to learn --slow it down! Too darn bad! I guess the Woz has pretty good reflexes. Great. The guy is a total space cadet but he has good reflexes. GREAT---that's just great!

Okay I didn't think it was possible for Samantha's voice to get any lower than it already is but...once again I was proved wrong. Good grief!---You're sick? Stay home and stop infecting others...outbreak monkey!

Okay now on to the dances:

David Allen Grier (DAG) and Kym--
Not much to say here, except how the heck do they expect DAG to Lindy Hop in a freaking tuxedo! I mean---come on---suspenders, bow tie, and a cumberbun??? He can't move with that restricting costume. Not to mention it didn't even match Kym's outfit. Stupid wardrobe people. The other hoppers last night all had very elasticy type clothes and poor DAG is dressed like a waiter. Nice. Real Nice. SABOTAGE! He really needs to start playing up the fact that he's funny cause when he's serious he's boring!
Notice when Bruno starts to give his criticism (just for the record---that little pip squeak is really out of control and mean this season---He's totally cruisen for a bruisen) DAG looks like he's gonna tear his head off. It's quite funny, actually.
Oh and I thought it was so nice of Carrie Ann to point out that he's an "old cookie"---Excuse me missy---weren't you on that hit show "In Living Color" together back in the day??? That makes you an old cookie as well! Idiot!

Lil' Kim and Derek
Okay much like her mystery mole that changes every week...so does her look. Was that the same trash---err girl as last week? Oh brother, I loved how Lil' Kim's biggest challenge this week was not smiling. Here's a thought on how to wipe that smile of your face---why not think of your time in the hoosegow? That should bring back some awful memories right?---Oh yeah right...her time in the Big House was spent with her "girls" watching Dancing with the Stars there...rough life! I noticed the mole was significantly smaller this week. I knew that sucker was a fake. I also noticed she needs to lay off the mascara just a tad--good grief I thought I saw spiders coming out at me. Also, Len got just a tad excited describing that dance. Whoa buddy---whoa.
The dance was quite good, I must admit but was it worth a 10?---not so sure!

Chuck & Julianne (Chulianne)
First off--was her hair pink? Secondly---hey there Chucky...NEWSFLASH: I have a weird fear of falling on my head, too and so does everyone else. A fall on the head = oops you're dead! In his defense I will say the idea Julianne had of him flipping over her---come on Miss "I weigh 70 pounds" what are you thinking? Oh and I think it's safe to say that Bruno thinks he's a dancer this season! NEWSFLASH:--You're a judge Bruno! Nothing more!

I noticed Samantha was getting sicker by the minute and while interviewing Chulianne she apologized by saying, " A sick kid at home=sick mom at work" cue the coughing on Julianne. I guess we should expect to see Jules in the ER next week with Strep. NEWSFLASH Samantha: Stay home and give us a rest... I mean...and get some rest!

Edyta and LT-
LT is way too intense. In fact, I can't even accurately describe them this week so...here's a message from Edyta:

Overall-- it wasn't too spectacular---kinda a snoozefest!

EXCUSE ME but Boys II Men are the entertainment for elimination night! Oh brother. Are they still a group? I think they should call them Men II Old Men.

Chelsea and Ty--This is the first night I saw Ty as a loose cannon. He was a little too excited to throw Chelsea around. Watch out turbo...you're not a bull and she isn't' riding you...okay? However, I thought they did a good job. He's totally improving with every week that goes by. I love Chelsea's bumpit by the way...(it's a hair accessory that gives her that little bump in her bangs--and I have one, too!---go bumpit's go!)

As the night progressed and Sam was harder to hear...I was beaming! BEAMING.

Karrrina and Whoa-zniak--Question---Why do they bother asking anyone over 55 years of age to complete in DWTS. They aren't in the same league as the others, they never really make it far, and the judges are so brutal with them. The poor contestant is just asking to be ridiculed by signing up to be on the show. Now about the performance itself---I guess, Karrrina's awful hair last week wasn't' just the style for the dance---it's a bad perm. Who still gets a perm? Come on? Hey Harrrina---the chick from Flashdance called...she wants her hair back! As for Steve Whoa-zniak --that man is so weird...so so weird. He doesn't' even flinch when they tell him he STINKS. Stupid Bruno...I can smell your nasty BO from here!

Melissa and Tony-Don't give me that bull that dancing doesn't come easy for you. It so does and there is no shame in someone calling you a natural. I could have done without her face in Tony's crotch but whatever. I did notice they are always glitterifying her tramp stamp tattoo. Now that's classy stuff. Two 10's---wow..she did mess up a bit but I guess the difficulty alone was worth 10's. Very good dancing.

Holly and Dmitry--I think the pain you are feeling in your ribs might have something to do with the size of your chest. Just a thought! Sorry Holly---but it's time to go...you fell off the chair..while sitting on it???---oh dear. If you can't do that...you sure as heck can't do the dance. I'm also really over the constant giggling. I know that's how she deals with the negative feedback---but it really is like scratching a chalkboard.

Steve-O and Lacey---I'm surprised he's so stressed about a chaotic dance. He defines the word chaotic. I think the guy is going through withdrawals cause he's acting weirder and weirder by the minute! I did laugh at his --"Gosh, darn, dang it, golly gee, what the hey?" comment---that's definitely more family friendly than the beep beep beep beep from last week. The dance started okay but then got progressively worse and I noticed not one lift. I know his back is all tweaked but compared to the other couples...their dance was WEAK! Although, I did notice that there truly is only one Jackass on the show---he's short, he's mean, he's got a very thick accent, and he's gay. --Bruno strikes again. What a punk.

Oh I feel I need to mention that Tom was really on a roll with all the (pun definitely intended) "voice cracks" Samantha was experiencing. I think he's over her, too.

Gilles and Cheryl--I had to laugh when he said, "I feel I do have an advantage in this dance because I can act!" Showing your ding dong to the world doesn't make you an Oscar winner...just an Oscar Wiener! heh heh heh The dance was very good and I knew they would get all 10's. Cheryl was loving every minute of it.

Carrie Ann has entirely too many hot flashed during the show...hmmm payback for your "old cookie" comment perhaps?

Shawn and Mark--Boy oh boy---she gives a whole new meaning to the word THICK. I don't know why Mark was playing the nerd character again--didn't get it. And I must agree...although I loved watching her cool gymnastics...this is a DANCE competition...not a gymnastics meet...sorry...better luck next time.

Well, folks...hope you have a great week and that you enjoy the hit band Boys II Men tonight...(do you sense my sarcasm??)

Until then...keep dancing

Len-da

Today I'm in mourning...

2009-03-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Of course I'm devasted that Maks's air time was so short BUT--the moment I heard he was paired up with Denise, way back before the show even began---I knew he never stood a chance. No one is going to vote in favor of a homewrecker who exploits her children! Not even for Maks.

The best part---how humiliating for Denise to be booted off before Steve Wozniak. COMPLETELY HUMILIATING.

Also, a message for Maks. You will always hold a special place in my heart but until you lose that fiancee of yours---your fans have definitely spoken.

Until next season for you Maksy...until then. XOXOX

Week 3 Review

2009-03-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hello fans---no time to waste.

First off, let me just say that I've had a few select friends ask me why I harbor so much anger and resentment toward Samantha---let me address this quickly.
Her strengths:
1. I will never say that Samantha isn't beautiful---cause she is.
2. She has a good body (but she needs to lay off the weights just a bit)
3. She has good hair and good clothes (But---so would any of us if we had her job.)

My issue with her is she sounds like a man and she's a horrible interviewer. Her questions make no sense, she isn't quick and she isn't witty---she just doesn't have that natural, easy-going feel that Tom has. It's a weird mix. Tom doesn't miss a beat. He fires back comments to the judges, he comes up with silly jokes in between the other mumbo jumbo---but Samantha comes across as trying wayyyy to hard to be funny, clever, and quick and her trying is futile cause she usually doesn't succeed at being any of those things. But---because my readers like Samantha---I'll try to lay off. I'm not promising anything---but I'll try. So---now that I've settled that--we can move on.

I know you all saw Gilles fall down the steps. This is the 3rd week and the third little slip we've witnessed. So, my dear friends, I think it's safe to say this "so called" new and improved staircase is my new favorite thing on the show! HYSTERICAL! I couldn't stop laughing. I could just imagine someone rolling all the way down the steps (like our very own little Leo---that's for Suzy). I'm waiting patiently for that ambulance to arrive for that accident. It will happen. Just you wait!

Next--Crazy Hairrrrrina. What the heck was up with Karina's hair? Well hello there Ms. bad perm. It was awful. She looked awful. And of course that made me happy.

And speaking of awful---the music last night was atrocious. Eeeks---the songs selected either didn't go with the dances or the musicians sounded weird singing them. All around bad!

Now on to the dances:

Denise and Maks-
Her hair looked like a rat's nest. I think she let her daughters play with it before her performance. She still looks unbelievably awkward out there. Her timing was way off and she knew it. Of course Maks (who showed us that he's very secure in a dress---as he should be--and that he has a little sense of humor--I never doubted you honey!) rocked it out there but while doing that he completely out danced her and it showed! While the judges were scoring---you can see Denise's bulging vein on her forehead about to burst! Watch out folks...she's gonna blow! I thought Carrie Ann and Bruno were right on and Len was wayyy too easy on her!

My favorite part of the whole Maks and Denise thing...besides Maks of course...was Tom questioning Carrie "hairy" Ann's ability to accurately see what really went on due to the very new and very thick set of bangs she sported. Gotta love Tommy! Speaking of Tom, I noticed he was holding the microphone but not using it. So pointless. Just as I figured... a stupid prop.

Sorry guys...my "trying" is over! I'm sure you all noticed that Maks thinks Samantha sucks at interviewing, too because he flat out mocked her during her questioning---that's my man!

Chuck and Julianne-
Well, he did look a tad feminine in the performance so I guess he did well, right? He had some pretty good moves, he looked much more comfortable out there. So far, I'm happy to see the two haven't called it quits but she's very competitive so let's cross our fingers their relationship makes it through this show. I felt the judges comments were very fair. I also thought it was pretty amusing to see Bruno say, "I actually started to see you Danth." Nice lisp buddy! Once again---I'll avoid the obvious zinger here---Bruno with a lisp...too too easy! Well, folks---I think Chuck is proving to be a competitor---go Chulianne!!!!

I did notice something during the Samantha "borefest"erviews---that no one really listens to what she's asking--they basically use that time to schmooze the audience and fans watching and say what they want. Sammy should just hand over the prop mic and say---"Is there anything you'd like to say to your fans?" Really...I would if I had nothing clever to say (which of course would never happen).

Good golly you're awful Holly and Dmitry-
She's way too skinny and frail. She looks like she's gonna snap in two. During her shimmy sessions I was afraid one of her boobsters would come flying out! In fact, I think there were entirely too many references to her boobs. When a gay guy goes there...you know it's too much. But I did hear she calls the "gals" Hugh and Hefner (after all...he did help pay for them---okay that's a lie but it was funny---Eat your heart out Samantha!) And what a punk her partner is...way to throw her under the bus Dmitry. Tom said it best and quite sarcastically (I might add) when he said "Holly can now be assured that Dmitry doesn't want Jewel back" Good going newbie...good going!

Steve-O and Lacey-
beep beep beep beep beep beep beeep beeep---sorry I couldn't stop cussing...no wait---that was Steve-O. Poor guy, he's trying so hard and he's still having trouble. I never thought this guy would take this show so seriously. He started out great and then one mess up after another, then he got frazzled, nervous, and hurt again! My goodness Jackass! You jump off of buildings, let cars run over you, taze yourself, shoot bean bag guns in your stomach and you can't handle DANCING?!?!? What the beep beep beep beep beep beep beep? --But seriously, I felt bad for him. He tried so hard and he gen-U-EYEnly looked like he was in major pain (yes, I'm making fun of the way Carrie Ann said the word genuine.) And on the making fun of Carrie Ann note...I couldn't stop laughing at the fact that she thought she was holding up the "You Rock" sign which is also considered the devil's sign to some-- but instead she was holding up the "I love you" sign. Marlee Matlin must have been so confused. heh heh heh. Comedy---pure comedy!

Oh and Lacey besides that horrid unflattering dress---don't ever call Steve-O babe again! He's not your boyfriend! Okay Julianne and Chuck!

LT and Edyta "Smoking body" Slavinska (who cares how you spell it)-
LT---how adorable are you?---giving up your golf game to get the dance just right. And I believe it paid off tremendously. That man's got some moves. What's up Emmett Smith? Samantha made another boo boo in the red room. She said, "I guess it was worth giving up your golf lesson for those scores."---Uhhh excuse me...golf lesson?? no...golf game! Tsk tsk tsk...open your ears girl and focus!

Shawn and Mark-
My dear friend pointed out that when Shawn talks the only part of her face that moves is her lower jaw. Why don't I just prop her on my knee and practice the art of Ventriloquism. Just watch. That aside...she did beautifully. She's definitely doing well. She also listens to her partner and judges and applies the tips they have to offer. Man oh man is this girl trained! Well guys, I have yet another Samantha blunder to report---sorry guys... I guess this wasn't the week for me to try and be nice to her. I just loved her question, " How is dancing different than gymnastics?" REALLY??? You can't tell? Oh brother! And then Shawn's response was, "Well in gymnastics I do flips and here I dance" Did you all see what Samantha did after that?? Let me refresh your memory. She said, " Uh yeah, of course"--a tad annoyed at the obvious answer. You want a better answer...ask a better question.

Gilles and Cheryl-
Not much to say here. They did great. Cheryl definitely likes Gilles and let's us know it. In fact, Carrie Ann said it best when she said, "She hasn't seen Cheryl like this for a while"- Well, that's because she actually stands a chance this season! Did I hear Bruno refer to Gilles as a red, hot, throbbing something??? I really didn't catch the last word cause I was cringing the whole time! Oh Bruno...calm down.

David Allen Grier and Kym-
He did a great job but he has to know he won't be this season's winner. He hasn't really done anything to stand out---other than be funny. I really need Carrie Ann to stop making references to her "In Living Color" days---Okay 2 snaps up...Let me give you a bit of advice. The star of In Living Color does not remember a back up dancer! LET IT GO!
The hundredth mistake Samistaka made was when she called David a Tony winner and sadly he had to correct her and say, "Nominee"---way to go Sam...way to go.

Steve Whoa-zniak and Hate-tina-
Give it up buddy. He actually thinks he has a shot. I mean...look at the torture he's putting himself through. Karrrrina doesn't really care that he's hurt...she's faking---she's secretly hoping this humiliation comes to an end. Okay and precisely at 1 hour and 21 minutes I saw this butt on my screen...did you see it??? well, you did...only you might have noticed that this butt was really just a close up of Steve's leg bent at the knee...My mouth dropped and I was convinced it was something else. Rest assured folks...it was just his leg. It was very funny though. --Did anyone else think that? Come on ...admit it. Oh dear and that worm....that dreadful little worm he attempted. Painful to watch. Karina blew the ending on purpose...she wants out. She threw herself on the ground. She'll do anything to be out of this commitment. and you know what missy---I'll do anything to mess up your commitment to Maks. The judges were right in what they said about him but my goodness---they were way harsh. I know, I know...I'm pretty brutal myself---BUT at least I have the decency to put it in writing and not say it to his Gazillion dollar face! heh heh heh. He's a good sport and he's rich. He'll be just fine once he's voted off...just fine.

Who does that back up singer think she's fooling---we know that crap you put on your head are all necklaces...all of them. I don't think I'll be mentioning her again. It's not even a surprise anymore. Just know---every week...when you see her..I'm one angry gal!

Melissa and Tony-
Since when does a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader have a cubicle? Isn't your office the gym or the field? Anyway, during the dance, I noticed some fools walking on the brand new and improved staircase---ooops caught-cha! She is a natural. They did very well and Tony is just beaming that he finally has a partner that is going to go far. They didn't care for Carrie Ann saying "Dancing obviously comes naturally for you"---comment did they?---well who are they kidding?..it does come naturally for her. She may not have ballroom danced before---but she is a natural. What? You don't know how to take a compliment anymore? Did our Bachelor ruin that for you, too??

Lil Kim and Derek--
Trash---total trash and Kim's pretty sleazy too! ha ha Seriously, the one thing those 2 have in common is the same eyebrows. A question--is that thing on Kim's lip a real mole, a fake mole, or a lip piercing? I swear that thing moves around. Moley Moley Moley! Oh my goodness and now for the best part of the whole entire evening!!! Did you all catch that while they were getting the scores in the red room Lil Kim jumped too much and her nipple pasty was showing?!?!? Please tell me you all caught that? Oh my goodness. Then as if that wasn't enough---Derek flat out cupped her breast.---well cupped isn't the right word cause his hand isn't that big...I guess we'll say he rested his hand on the boob whose pasty was visible. You know who else noticed---his co-stars behind him. They were busting up. Julianne brought it to their attention...HYSTERICAL!!!

Ty and Chelsea--
It's official. I love this guy! Wouldn't it be great if he won? The underdog! It's too bad Chelsea fell but he handled it perfectly! He kept going and didn't mess up much which surprised me. I tried to vote for him and it was busy busy!

Last night was a good episode but if I had to listen to one more phallic innuendo from Bruno I was gonna wretch!--I know you heard them, too. Bruno--enough is enough okay!

Until next week---
Keep Dancing...

Len-da

The results show

2009-03-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

I really do hate results shows. I hate the recap shows EVEN MORE. Hi, we just watched the full 2 hours yesterday and now you want me to watch the same thing the next night wrapped up in an hour?? Hmmmm---if you can squeeze all the action in one hour why not do that from the very beginning. For goodness sakes---can we drag this thing out any more???

The results show is just as annoying. Just tell us who's going home!--If you really insist on adding some special guest singer and some professional dancing---great! I fully support that but the other filler is just annoying! The results can easily be cut down to 30 minutes!

As for the results show--I am a tad surprised that Blah-linda was the first to go, but I'm not too bummed. She wasn't good and it was only a matter of time. As for the other couple in the bottom two--I give it one more week.--I think this was the first time I saw Karina disappointed that she WASN'T voted off. Well, actually, she always has that scowl on her face so who knows what she's thinking.

2 things I'd like to address:
1. Jewel's rendition of "Some where over the Rainbow" made me want to stab my ears! Please don't ever take a well known classic and add your yodeling crap to it. It sounded off key the entire time. Call me the tin man if you must---cause I appear not to have a heart but seriously--was it just me or was that awful?
2. The only thing about that performance that I did enjoy was---the dancing between newbie pros Dmitry and Chelsea. They were phenomenal. They gave me chills. I like this Chelsea gal more and more with each minute that passes. I hope Ty continues to do well and improve cause he's so charming and sweet. But---only time will tell.

Oh and I simply must comment on the dress Samantha wore---POCKETS??? on an evening gown?---Oh dear. If I had to see her crazy buff arm tucked into that pocket one more time I was gonna die. DIE!

See ya next week!

Week 2--A week of improvements

2009-03-16T22:56:00.001-07:00

Hi friends,

This week was definitely a week of improvements over all.

Let's begin with some general observations.

1. Lil' Kim's hairdo gives the phrase Helmet Head a whole new meaning. She looked like Princess Leah and Darth Vader's love child. My word.

2. I noticed they spruced up their scoring paddles. Glitter huh? They must have had some left over from Melissa's tramp stamp glitterification last week.

3. Cheryl almost ate it coming down the stairs this week. Last week it was Shawn, this week it was Cheryl---mark my words--someone's taking a tumble down those steps this season and you can bet I'll be waiting and ready to rewind over and over again.

4. Does Steve the Nerd really have to wear pink all the time? It's so not flattering on his Tweedle Dee/ Tweedle Dum body.

5. I noticed Steve-O and his horse teeth were missing---let me guess another injury. I also noticed that Lacey really has lost a lot of weight. I'll admit I'm starting to get a little tired of these "injuries"--wimps. The moment I heard, "We'll reveal what happened to Steve-O later on in the show"-- I basically sat back and expected to hear about him the last couple minutes. Come on ABC---you're not fooling us on that one again.

The Dancing...

1. Holly and D'mtry--She claims they feel like total strangers and she needs to get to know him better. Here's a thought Holly---if you're interested in breaking the ice with D--why not take him to the playboy mansion or show him some of your pictorials---that will definitely take away the, "I feel like total strangers" feeling. Just a thought. Anyway--her dance wasn't that good and I felt her scores were entirely too high. She was dragged around and trying to catch up to D'mtry the entire dance---that deserves an 18? Really? Oh and her annoying giggle---yeah that needs to stop.

2. David Allen Greer & Kym--The needing subtitles for Bruno and the impression of Bruno were priceless. Bruno, however, disagreed---he was a little snarky with funnyman Greer. Oh well, get over it. I felt his scores were way to low. He did way better than Holly---WAY better!

3. Denise and Maks--What is up with her?? She looks way weird! You know what else was weird?? The fact that Maks had his pants pulled up to his man nipples. What the heck? You know I'm the first to say that man can get away with anything, usually, but those pants...yikesarama---I blame Karina. How can she let him go out like that? I would never allow my man to look that foolish on or off TV---EVER! I hate to say this but I need Denise to stay on a tad longer so she can do what she does best---ruin relationships. Come on sweet cheeks...you can do it. If you broke up one of Rock and Roll's longest marriages (Locklear and Sambora) you can do this!

A quick comment to ABC---please refrain from putting Karrrina in the direct shot in the green room while other contestants are getting their scores. I don't want to have to look at her if I don't have to. She can wait outside.

4. Belinda & Jonathan---Okay first off---did you all catch that Tom used my pun. Where are my royalties baby?? I so said, "Will Belinda dance as if Heaven were a place on Earth?"---Our sense of humors are so similar--obviously we make a much better duo than him and SaMANtha. Oh and Jonathan...are you a professional dancer or a trained counselor? All that mumbo jumbo about feelings and expressing yourself, showing your personality---blah---Just teach her to dance and GoGo get that trophy (Tom, don't be stealing my GoGo get the trophy comment or you're dead). Bruno showing Blah-linda to dance and saying you gotta go for it, go for it...go go go---what a nutzo! My face was priceless---as I'm sure yours was, too. One final thing about Belinda---she looks a little Priscilla Presley to me and that worries me...what's up plastics? Ooops I got personal, Belinda---care to call on another session with Dr. Jonathan the current Smooth Champion. Okay I lied...I have one more thing involving Belinda but it's really a comment against my nemesis--Samantha-poo. Thanks for offering to hold Belinda while she gets her scores. I know something you can hold---Your breath for an hour!

5. Ty and Chelsea--You want them to quick step? Geez Louise, they couldn't even high five properly at the beginning of their dance. I was immediately worried after that blunder--BUT much to my surprise he did great! He definitely used that new "concentration" face Chelsea taught him---that or he was in total shock that he was actually pulling this off. Have I mentioned?-- I officially like Ty. I want him to hang around a while. He's so sweet. What was up with Bruno saying, "It's better, but Ty---you are still made of hardwood."---Hardwood??? Whoa there Bruno---you know what--- I won't even go there---it's way to easy.

6. Shawn and Mark-- She's cute, real, honest about how silly she feels shaking it, and positive. I like all those things. During rehearsal I was starting to think ...hmnm maybe Mark should be the girl and Shawn could lead him--but over all they did pretty great. I think she's way to precise in the way she moves...typical gymnast mentality-- it's all about "Oh no...I hope I don't get a tenth of deduction for my little errors"---Let the brainwashing continue. The dance itself...well, I think she could have shook it more...for sure. And I agree with Bruno---she needs to be more notey (naughty) much more notey (naughty) ha ha.

7. Steve and KaRRRRina--Oh dear! I'm so embarrassed watching him. He looks---hmmm---how can I say this...he looks---uh...different. No social skills---he's unbelievably awkward. A word to the costume folks---no more suspenders for him okay?---So not flattering. It was nice to see the end of the awkward dance reach completion with Karina's bottom hitting the ground. woo hoo. I'm shocked and appalled that they gave David Allen Greer the same score as him. David was much better---he was robbed. You can hope for change all day long---you were robbed buddy.

8. Julianne and Chuck--I loved that he called Derek a girl. LOVED IT MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW. He's super adorable and it looks like they are enjoying themselves--but as I was watching the performance I thought...hmmm--he doesn't look feminine enough--which worried me because I knew by that fact that the judges wouldn't like it. After 8 seasons---you know what they do and do not like. Wouldn't you agree?

9. LT and Edyta--That chickie can wear a burlap sack and her body still would rock. Dang--she looks amazing! Anyway---LT is hard core and he did a great job. Good for him.

10. The Steve-O announcement, ladies and gentlemen, only took 1 hour and 21 minutes of show time. Geez--all that fuss. So he fell on his mic pack and is currently sitting on an inflatable donut cushion watching his fellow competitors. I think I summed up the "big news" about his injury in less that 60 seconds.

HOLD THE PHONE--There are official DWTS rules?? What official rules?--They so make this stuff up as they go along. As for the dance we saw during dress rehearsal--- I had no idea what dance they were doing--Bad sign!

11. Lil Kim and Derek--The stretch for her was to be prim and proper this week huh?---Well, that should definitely pose a challenge for this ho. She's anything but prim and proper. If you think I'm being too hard on her--let me remind you of the "slutty strip moves" she showed Derek during rehearsal. Oh yeah, that will definitely give you points in elegance and grace. I'd like to bring attention to Lil' Kim's body for just one moment---I've never seen buttocks that can be mistaken for breasts---my word. Get that girl a butt bra. I mean geez louise she's an hourglass in every sense of the word. I guess that's not a bad thing but I felt I must make mention of it. After watching her dance---I must admit she did look more refined and elegant than I thought she would be. But still---she's Lil' Kim---who showed up to some award show years ago with nothing on but pasties. No no no...

12. Melissa and Tony--Choo Choo---Keep riding that 15 minutes of fame train honey cause it's working for you. Milk it for all it's worth while you can, cause you can bet your bottom dollar that once this is over, that's the last we see of her. Especially with a new Bachelorette already cast for next season. She definitely is a great competitor, looks like she's having a total ball out there, and brings it to the dance floor. She'll be a good one to watch. Many of you have expressed that you think she will go all the way. Well, it is possible---but I'm sticking to my guns. I think Julianne and Chuck take it home this year. My winning prediction streak is over anyway because of that wretched Misty May--so if i lose---ah well. I don't have any money riding on it. Let me conclude the Melissa section by saying, "Was I the only one who was completely and utterly disturbed by Len admitting she had him gyrating on his seat?" Ewwww thanks for the visual Lenny. Thanks.

Sidenote #1---So right around 1 hour and 47 minutes I start to think---Oh my goodness. Is this going to be the first night without our African queen and her outrageous forehead displays and then BAM--possibly the biggest one I've ever seen catches my eye. It looked like a piece of foil taped to her head. Good griefage---what on earth are you trying to do here? If you hate your forehead so much---cut yourself some bangs but I implore you---stop the madness!

Sidenote #2--I noticed Melissa was wearing a ring on her left ring finger backstage---is our poor heart broken rejectee---already engaged to someone else???--3/4 of her entire appeal to America is that she was dumped on national TV---if she's already moved on and engaged--she'll lose the votes. Watch. Just watch.

13. Gilles and Cheryl--Okay buddy...really??? Is it necessary to take off your shirt for Cheryl (who apparently is a doctor for the show now) to inspect your shoulder?? Let me guess, that's the only way she could properly examine that what you have sore muscles---who doesn't?---give me a break! As for the score---it was like clock work--- 9...9....9---cue Cheryl jumping on her partner. Sooooo predictable.

Well friends, that concludes it for this week. I'm thinking Steve the Computer guy will leave us tonight--It's time for Whorrina to leave anyway. It really is.

Until next week---keep dancing.
Len-da

Another day...another injury...

2009-03-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

Apparently Steve the Nerd has a fractured foot. Don't worry fans---he's cleared to continue competeing. Thank goodness!

I guess the doctor knows it's only for one more night anyway. heh heh heh

I couldn't help but chuckle when I heard the news about this so called injury that (dare I say it?) almost took him out of the competition. I immediately thought of Karrrrrina "makes me want to drink some" Smirnoff rejoicing at the possibility of getting a new and improved partner for the competition---WELL HA missy! No doing! You will just have to deal with leaving the competition early on---and the rest of us ---celebrate!

I'm excited for tonight!

Season 8 Night 1

2009-03-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

I guess this season we're gonna change the name of the show to Dancing with Anyone who's been on TV--The term “stars” loosely means---if you’ve had 15 minutes of fame you’re considered a star in Hollywood. Hey, I was once on the channel 4 news and actually spoke to a reporter---I better dust off my dancing shoes and wait for my formal invitation to join the cast next season. A Bachelor rejectee as one of the stars?? And Steve the Apple Nerd??? Come on!

With that said…Welcome back friends and fans of DWTS. I have to admit when I first heard that cast of "so called" stars I wasn’t too pleased but after watching the first night---once again they’ve hooked me in. I was pleasantly surprised by last night’s show.

Before the actual reviewing begins I'd like to address some general observations first.

Samantha Harris not only has a man voice (I seriously check for an Adam’s apple every time she speaks) but now I can see she’s got man shoulders, too! Good grief…lay off the weights chickie…it’s getting a little too masculine for me. Oh and night of the orange cast is what we should call this first episode. Those spray tans are getting worse and worse and more and more orange! They looked like oompa loompas dancing around. Yikes. Especially, Lacey---I almost adjusted the color on my TV---it was absolutely awful.

My next general observation is that we’ve had a couple pro dancers shed some pounds this season haven’t we? Cheryl and Lacey are noticeably thinner. I guess they were over all the scuttle butt about their weight last season. Well, ladies you looked good then and you look good now. Way to go.

Next item up for discussion---When the “stars” came down the grand staircase---I noticed a little fall by the little contestant Shawn Johnson…of course I laughed. I also noticed that when they were all standing in a line and the camera panned over all of them--- that they had to lower the camera significantly to get little Shawn in the shot. I’m sorry, but that was hysterical!

And finally I did manage to see a teenie clip of the band and singers and although there wasn’t a close up---I saw our loud and proud African queen in the distance…or I should say…I saw her crazy head piece from a distance. All I know is---it was red, it was huge, and it was back! We’re in for an entire season of it. Brace yourselves.

Now that I got some of the general stuff out of the way---I can move on to the “stars” First up…

Derek and Lil’ Kim

Oh my goodness. Between his horrific hair and her shout out to the “ladies of the detention center” I was dying. It looks like we have only the highest quality of stars on this show! Wow—is this something to be proud of? The way she was sporting that orange jumpsuit and talking about how she watched this show while she was in prison with her “girlfriends”—really? That’s what my tax dollars are paying for? Popcorn and TV time? GRRRRRRR How sick that there was no shame in her voice about her past. Just for kicks---I looked up why she was incarcerated and the reason is…she lied to a grand jury about a shooting—she got the minimum sentence of 1 year. Just a little trivia for you.

Belinda and Jonathan

Wait a second!--Jonathon is currently the smooth champion??? That’s a category? Smooth is hardly the word I would use to describe that partnership---Poor poor Belinda---she didn’t do so well. She looked like she was walking half the time and then that turn/spin at the end where she was working so hard to keep both feet on the ground???—good grief it looked like her knees buckled and he was fighting to hold her up. Egads!

Edyta and LT

I just loved when Edyta said, (please add your own Edyta accent in for effect) “I’m known for bringing seduction to the floor” Really? You are? I thought you were known for slutty outfits, crazy head bands, ridiculous leg warmers, and the most annoying accent on this planet? As for their dancing…I thought they did pretty well, he had some moves and he looked good out there for the first night---I thought Scary Ann (props to my girl Lisa for that appropriate title) and Bafoon-o (Bruno) were way too hard on him. It is only the first night folks. When annoying Bruno added his 2 cents about the performance-- it was hysterical to watch LT try and figure out what he meant. I don’t think any of us knew what the heck he was trying to say.

The Jackass Steve-O and Lacey the self-proclaimed Rebel (whatever)

I see he got a new set of dental work for th show's premiere---I’m sure that has to do with his very daring lifestyle. Anyway—I loved the part when he said, “I have a lot of things working against me---1. I’m very Caucasian, I have absolutely no balance, and I have scrawny ankles…” that was funny stuff. I also liked that the so called rebel Lacey—was much calmer this time around. I think she’s finally getting it through her orange head that this show isn’t about her. It’s good to see Jackass on something so wholesome. This will probably do good things for him and his self esteem. Way to go Steve-o---I’m all for getting yourself healthy! I would still watch my back if I was anyone connected to that show!---He’s a prankster and you can bet something will happen during the course of the season.

Gilles and Cheryl

Whoa girl---calm down---she was a little too focused on making the dance sexy and sultry. “Are we lonesome tonight Cheryl dear?” GET A ROOM! However, that aside--- I thought he did great! I could have done without his fingers going from her neck, down in between her “hills” all the way down to her bellybutton. Why did they include that craziness at the end? The music was over---it wasn’t even a part of the dance. Oh brother. If this is the first dance…can you imagine what is in store for us down the road?? Yikes! Another thing about good ole' Cheryl---anyone else notice how she always jumps on her partner at the end of the dance?? Calm down sister…just calm down!

Julianne and Chuck

How cute are they?? I have to say, this might be a bad idea for them. I mean, this can get very stressful and it’s gotta be hard to take orders from someone you love. I hope they are still together at the end of this whole thing. Anyone happen to count how many times the word baby came out of their mouths? That might get annoying. What I think will be fun to watch is Julianne’s reaction to negative comments from the judges. She’s usually really protective of her partners and can get a little snarky with the judges (yes adorable Julianne does have a mean streak—she rolls her eyes and argues back with the judges)—No one better talk trash on her man cause she’ll scratch their eyes out---and rightfully so!

Sidenote:---The little segment included on the sicklies (Jewel and Nancy) of the group was priceless. Whenever I see Jewel I can’t help but think—fix that snaggle tooth already!!! You have the money for it! So, last night, as I was watching I said those exact words to my TV—and my sweet hubby says, “I’ve heard that singers usually stay away from doing anything drastic to their mouths because it might change the way they sound”---something like that and my response was simple---“Jewel---it’s worth the risk---FIX THAT TOOTH!” ---(Okay it's official-- I suck---but anyway moving on...As for Nancy—okay, we get it, you’re injury is serious. I loved her big knee brace and how she had to give us total details on the fact that she needs surgery and that she’ll be in rehab 6-8 weeks…okay okay…we believe you. (not really)

Back to the couples:

Holly and Dmitry

I know…I know…this goes against everything I stand for but I actually like her. I know she’s been in Playboy and bared it all 5 times too many---she’s been living with Hugh Hefner, and lives a life of hedonism but for whatever reason---she doesn’t give me that same icky feeling that Kim Kardashian or Shannon Elizabeth gave me. Perhaps it’s because she’s not pretending to be someone she’s not. She knows her life is offensive to many and she owns it…versus the other 2 who tried to fool the fans of their innocence! I hope she improves by the next dance. Her little cutie of a partner might just give Maksim a run for his money---those crazy Ukrainians are good looking guys. Oh one more thing--he definitely needs to button his buttonless shirt and stop sneaking peeks at Holly’s PEAKS. “wink wink”

Ty and Chelsea

Can we say awkward? He’s so uncomfortable out there. Maybe if we put a bull between his legs he’ll loosen up and feel right at home. I thought his little analogy of “this is like bull riding, you’re never completely ready but then it’s your turn” was too cute! I believe I saw a little boob grab of some sort---but he was so awkward that I might have imagined it. I noticed he messed up pretty bad and then tried to start over but it was no good. Poor thing. His face looked so sad during the comments from the judges. You know who else’s face looked anything but happy?—Jewel! The part where that Carrie Ann said, “You are one cute cowboy…” ooo missy---if looks could kill. Watch it Carrie Ann---she may have a busted foot but that other foot can still find your cougar ass and give it a good kick in the pants.

Sidenote 2: You’ll notice up until this point… I didn’t have too much to say about my nemesis Samantha—I noticed the key to me tolerating her is filling the 2 hours with dancing and giving her as little air time as possible. Well, as expected, she did manage to do something that bothered me. OF COURSE. She asked Ty a question and then literally gave him 2 seconds to answer it and cut him off! Nice interviewing skills missy—real nice.

Shawn Johnson and Mark

She’s definitely our youngest and our buffest contestant by far. Whoa baby---Layla Ali and Misty May have nothing on her baby! Since gymnastics is technically in a Romanian’s blood—and since I am indeed Romanian---I feel immediately connected to this little girl. Although, I have never ever done any gymnastics nor can I even do a cart wheel---but anyway, how sad was the comment about how in gymnastics you’re taught to never show emotion because it’s a sign of weakness. What’s up brainwash?? Way to go Bella Carolli---wait, he trained Nadia---whatever…Bruno doing the gymnastics arm was hysterical. I loved his face.

And now folks---comes the part---that literally sealed the deal that Maks and I are officially over! Before going to commercial---he kissed Slutina Karina on the cheek..lovingly---arggggggg KILL ME NOW! He’ll have to do some major damage control on that one to get back in my good graces!

Steve the Nerd and Karrrrina

Oh my word, that was so painful to watch. Talk about awkward. He made Ty look like a pro. I will say that with every moment of the dance that passed I saw Torrina, Slutina, breakmyheartina slowly slipping out of the competition. It feels wonderful to know she won’t be on for long. BUT I guess that will give her more time to plan that dreaded wedding to my TV husband---oh Maks...why are you doing this to me?? The one other good thing about the poor brilliant sap looking like a complete moron out there was the fact that it brought me comfort to think…hey he may look like a fool but he’s got billions that probably make up for that. I didn’t think Bafoono the Italian smurf had any right calling Steve the Nerd a Tellie Tubby---not cool.

David Allen Greer and Kym

He was a little funny---kind of obnoxious. I practically puked when Carrie Ann said, “Good to see you again”---oh yeah, I highly doubt one of the stars of In Living Color remembers a stupid fly girl….oh that Carrie Ann---taking lessons from Samantha.

Denise the Homewreker Richards and my sweet brainwashed Maksy

Waterworks already??? Oh give it up..no one feels sorry for you. Hey just a thought, since homewrecking is in her past---perhaps she can end this so called engagement between Maks and Karina. Do your stuff---NOW!

Melissa and Tony "Crest White Strips" Dovalani

Number 1--She’s not a star! And number 2---she had 2 days to put that routine together??? ANOTHER LIE FROM THE BACHELOR!!! I’m really not at all surprised to hear yet another lie from that stupid show---another one I refuse to believe. Oh wow….did you all notice how they glitterified her tramp stamp??? Nice huh? Real classy. Melissa, one question for you???---Do you really want to be a loser on TV twice??

Now on to the part you all wait for....My prediction for the winner of season 8 is-----Julianne and Chuck---if they don’t break up before the season ends. They will be the ones to go all the way…why? Because they are freaking adorable, they obviously have chemistry, and she’s got the fan base! The other contenders are Gilles and Cheryl, Tony and Melissa, and Shawn & Mark---but it’s so gonna be Julianne and Chuck.

There you have it.

Until next week, keep dancing...

Len-da Isa-ba

Welcome Fans and Readers

2009-03-12T08:08:00.001-07:00

Hey there folks,
Welcome to my new blog! This blog will be dedicated to my reviews and other news on a fan favorite show-- Dancing with the Stars.

I'll include a weekly review of the performance nights, possibly some reviews on elimination night and definitely any news I get in between on anyone related to the show.

Hope you enjoy reading.

Also, I'd love to hear some of your comments so--sign in and leave your thoughts!