Hey guys...
By now we all know that Shawn Johnson took the trophy ball! I must say I was shocked at 2 things...
1. That she beat out the gypsy gigalo Gilles and
2. That they managed to make a results show 3 hours long. Of course I didn't watch it all.
Anyway, that ends this season of DWTS and this season of My Reviews and News...
Until next season...I bid you all a fine farewell.
On a different note, I'd like to give you all an update on my Maksy
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20280046,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines
Once you finish the article--my following comments will make much more sense.
First off...do any of Maks's shirts have buttons?
Second, when my boyfriend proposed to me---I couldn't wait to be Mrs. Isai---the fact that they are in no rush...proves how this won't last.
Third and finally---Maks is going to be in an athletic reality show...woo hoo...count me in!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Finally---The Finals!
Sorry guys...but I'm so ready for this season to end. I think they started with entirely too many couples. I'm exhausted. Also, this is the first season I didn't vote. That tells you right there...I'm over it!
I realize that I never reviewed last week's show...here's another shocker...I didn't watch it.
I did watch last night's episode and I was thrilled beyond thrilled to see that it was only 1 hour long.
So here we go...
How absolutely stupid and ridiculous was that bit including Len calling Carrie Ann (who was casually having a salad---BY HERSELF) and Bruno (Speedo City---ewwww---let's keep it covered shall we??) Anyway, back to the craziness. That was so scripted and so poorly acted.
Once that time filler was over and we had the combo dance off---we had other craziness present. Bruno takes the prize for most orange, Melissa takes the prize for the glow in the dark teeth--wait not just glow in the dark...more like beaming in the abyss, and Gilles takes the prize for the biggest gypsy we've ever had on this show.
I'd like to pause here to address a common misconception---Romanians are not gypsies. Gypsies are simply put...GYPSIES---they are a nation without a land. Nomads, wanderers...that sort of thing. They are commonly found in Europe and I guess the king...set up the official camp in beautiful Romania years and years ago. So--with that said...my mother (a very sassy and quite funny woman) pointed out to me just a few weeks ago that Gilles is not a Frenchman...He is 100% prime gypsy meat. You know what??? I totally believe her. Grab your purses and hold on to your wallets cause Gillespy is heading in for the kill. AND---AND---if there was any doubt whether or not he is indeed a gypsy like my mother claims---that costume was proof enough for me. If you'd like more information on Gypsies... please visit this site at your own leisure. http://www.geocities.com/~patrin/history.htm Okay enough about that...
The group dance was okay---the singers did an awful job. Melissa messed up quite a few times, Gilles was practically leaving a trail of oil from his hair and Shawn was just okay. I was shocked and disgusted when Melissa---who let me remind you---messed up and they all said it...got two 10's?? Uh...since when is does a mess up equal perfection---since the show allowed gypsies on it apparently. Okay...okay I'll drop the gypsy thing.
I know I've threatened this before...but the show is this close to me shutting it off forever. (who am I kidding?)
Don't you all just love how Carrie Ann says this is her favorite season of all times...EVERY SEASON. Oh stop your lies, Woman!
Now the moment we all wait for...THE FREESTYLE---
Shawn and Mark---(quick little note....I missed Apollo---that was a good season) It was by far my favorite dance of last night. It was high energy, creative, there were smooth transitions, and they seemed very much in sync.
Melissa and Tony--Wow Tony...was that shirt painted on? Holy Cazow Batman! I have to agree with judges...although it was better than other freestyles I've seen on the many seasons of this show...it wasn't the best.
Gilles and Cheryl---"I need to be on you"---that direct quote from slutsville Cheryl sums up the entire season for them. Here's another one that I came up with to accurately describe this combo. "Would you like a room?"---DISGUSTING.
1 more thing...did I fast forward or was last night the first night that horrid singer with the head dresses not make her way into the camera shot?? What a way to end the season!
So my final prediction is that Gilles wins the trophy. I'm not happy about this at all. At this point...please let it be Shawn---but honestly, I don't' really care---you'll be lucky if I even watch it.
Signing off--
Len-da
I realize that I never reviewed last week's show...here's another shocker...I didn't watch it.
I did watch last night's episode and I was thrilled beyond thrilled to see that it was only 1 hour long.
So here we go...
How absolutely stupid and ridiculous was that bit including Len calling Carrie Ann (who was casually having a salad---BY HERSELF) and Bruno (Speedo City---ewwww---let's keep it covered shall we??) Anyway, back to the craziness. That was so scripted and so poorly acted.
Once that time filler was over and we had the combo dance off---we had other craziness present. Bruno takes the prize for most orange, Melissa takes the prize for the glow in the dark teeth--wait not just glow in the dark...more like beaming in the abyss, and Gilles takes the prize for the biggest gypsy we've ever had on this show.
I'd like to pause here to address a common misconception---Romanians are not gypsies. Gypsies are simply put...GYPSIES---they are a nation without a land. Nomads, wanderers...that sort of thing. They are commonly found in Europe and I guess the king...set up the official camp in beautiful Romania years and years ago. So--with that said...my mother (a very sassy and quite funny woman) pointed out to me just a few weeks ago that Gilles is not a Frenchman...He is 100% prime gypsy meat. You know what??? I totally believe her. Grab your purses and hold on to your wallets cause Gillespy is heading in for the kill. AND---AND---if there was any doubt whether or not he is indeed a gypsy like my mother claims---that costume was proof enough for me. If you'd like more information on Gypsies... please visit this site at your own leisure. http://www.geocities.com/~patrin/history.htm Okay enough about that...
The group dance was okay---the singers did an awful job. Melissa messed up quite a few times, Gilles was practically leaving a trail of oil from his hair and Shawn was just okay. I was shocked and disgusted when Melissa---who let me remind you---messed up and they all said it...got two 10's?? Uh...since when is does a mess up equal perfection---since the show allowed gypsies on it apparently. Okay...okay I'll drop the gypsy thing.
I know I've threatened this before...but the show is this close to me shutting it off forever. (who am I kidding?)
Don't you all just love how Carrie Ann says this is her favorite season of all times...EVERY SEASON. Oh stop your lies, Woman!
Now the moment we all wait for...THE FREESTYLE---
Shawn and Mark---(quick little note....I missed Apollo---that was a good season) It was by far my favorite dance of last night. It was high energy, creative, there were smooth transitions, and they seemed very much in sync.
Melissa and Tony--Wow Tony...was that shirt painted on? Holy Cazow Batman! I have to agree with judges...although it was better than other freestyles I've seen on the many seasons of this show...it wasn't the best.
Gilles and Cheryl---"I need to be on you"---that direct quote from slutsville Cheryl sums up the entire season for them. Here's another one that I came up with to accurately describe this combo. "Would you like a room?"---DISGUSTING.
1 more thing...did I fast forward or was last night the first night that horrid singer with the head dresses not make her way into the camera shot?? What a way to end the season!
So my final prediction is that Gilles wins the trophy. I'm not happy about this at all. At this point...please let it be Shawn---but honestly, I don't' really care---you'll be lucky if I even watch it.
Signing off--
Len-da
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Is it the quarterfinals?
Well, as always...I'll get right into it with some general observations. I know we've discussed the ridiculous spray tans before but you know we've reached a whole new level of ridiculous when Len Goodman gets down and gets orange. My word! Every single line in his face is now magnified where the spray tan settles and clumps. Tsk tsk tsk Lenny boy...you caved! How disappointing!
Samantha has reached a whole new level of skinny. I guess she's worried they won't renew her contract so she's working out extra hard to be thin and stylish. Well, missy---if you do get your contract renewed I'LL BE SHOCKED!
THE SHOW IS NOW BACK TO 2 HOURS?!?! Oh brother, so much filler last night. We all know the results show is nothing but filler and that's annoying enough but the performance show does not need to be 2 hours now---we have 5 couples left. 5!!! We can easily get this thing down to 1 hour!
Now on to the dancing part of the show---(filler schmiller with the pros doing 2 group dances.) They were very good and always entertaining but it's really unnecessary. Those 2 segments alone were like 20 minutes! You know what else is unnecessary??? The 3 judges telling America what the remaining dancers need to work on. WE KNOW---you tell us after every single dance what you like and what you don't like!!! Geez Louise. Can we say overkill?
Shawn and Mark-
Mark needs to settle down some and stop out dancing Shawn. They look so unbalanced. She's wayyyy too precise and gym"mechanical"nastics---It seriously looks like a floor routine in heels. She's a sweet girl and a hard worker but she doesn't look natural out there. Her first dance was okay, but I personally liked the second one better. I think the Paso Doble suits her mechanical dance style. However, did anyone else miss her solo?---Solo??? What solo? It must have been pretty unimpressive for me to not even notice.
Ty and Chelsie
What in the world was that clip of Ty in a leopard bathrobe doing on this show??? That was so unnatural. Do you really think Ty the BULL rider wears a big plush leopard print bathrobe right before he goes to bed? I DON'T THINK SO FOLKS! That was the most ridiculous bit EVER. Then they show Jewel putting her hands on his shoulders and asking him, "Honey, are you coming to bed?" Oh pah-lese!!! Who the heck do you think you're fooling? HOG WASH! I really do like Chelsie and I just can't believe she hasn't annoyed me once. That's near impossible to do. Now on to Ty's second dance....that was a Rumba??? How? That looked nothing like a Rumba---where was the seduction?, the romance?, the dance of love??? NOT THERE! Ty really did suck something fierce in that dance but I just loved that ending. Jewel was busting up and rightfully so. That was too funny and too cute. I also loved that he hopes that ending will pay dividends later on. He doesn't miss a beat. (Samantha...take some lessons from Ty---even he's got better interviewing skills!)--Last but not least--second dance had some major boob grabs by Ty!---MAJOR!
Big head Kim and Derek--
Why the big surprise that Kim can't do ballroom? There is nothing classy and elegant about her! Duh! That song they had to dance to, my goodness that singer sounded awful. Voice cracking, off key issues---oooooo it was bad. As for Bruno and his opinions of Little Kim---well, I think it's best he tell you himself... (don't forget---pause the music down below---before hitting play)
Samantha has reached a whole new level of skinny. I guess she's worried they won't renew her contract so she's working out extra hard to be thin and stylish. Well, missy---if you do get your contract renewed I'LL BE SHOCKED!
THE SHOW IS NOW BACK TO 2 HOURS?!?! Oh brother, so much filler last night. We all know the results show is nothing but filler and that's annoying enough but the performance show does not need to be 2 hours now---we have 5 couples left. 5!!! We can easily get this thing down to 1 hour!
Now on to the dancing part of the show---(filler schmiller with the pros doing 2 group dances.) They were very good and always entertaining but it's really unnecessary. Those 2 segments alone were like 20 minutes! You know what else is unnecessary??? The 3 judges telling America what the remaining dancers need to work on. WE KNOW---you tell us after every single dance what you like and what you don't like!!! Geez Louise. Can we say overkill?
Shawn and Mark-
Mark needs to settle down some and stop out dancing Shawn. They look so unbalanced. She's wayyyy too precise and gym"mechanical"nastics---It seriously looks like a floor routine in heels. She's a sweet girl and a hard worker but she doesn't look natural out there. Her first dance was okay, but I personally liked the second one better. I think the Paso Doble suits her mechanical dance style. However, did anyone else miss her solo?---Solo??? What solo? It must have been pretty unimpressive for me to not even notice.
Ty and Chelsie
What in the world was that clip of Ty in a leopard bathrobe doing on this show??? That was so unnatural. Do you really think Ty the BULL rider wears a big plush leopard print bathrobe right before he goes to bed? I DON'T THINK SO FOLKS! That was the most ridiculous bit EVER. Then they show Jewel putting her hands on his shoulders and asking him, "Honey, are you coming to bed?" Oh pah-lese!!! Who the heck do you think you're fooling? HOG WASH! I really do like Chelsie and I just can't believe she hasn't annoyed me once. That's near impossible to do. Now on to Ty's second dance....that was a Rumba??? How? That looked nothing like a Rumba---where was the seduction?, the romance?, the dance of love??? NOT THERE! Ty really did suck something fierce in that dance but I just loved that ending. Jewel was busting up and rightfully so. That was too funny and too cute. I also loved that he hopes that ending will pay dividends later on. He doesn't miss a beat. (Samantha...take some lessons from Ty---even he's got better interviewing skills!)--Last but not least--second dance had some major boob grabs by Ty!---MAJOR!
Big head Kim and Derek--
Why the big surprise that Kim can't do ballroom? There is nothing classy and elegant about her! Duh! That song they had to dance to, my goodness that singer sounded awful. Voice cracking, off key issues---oooooo it was bad. As for Bruno and his opinions of Little Kim---well, I think it's best he tell you himself... (don't forget---pause the music down below---before hitting play)
You'll have to pardon my horrific look---I literally threw my costume together in minutes. I know my videos have been missed, especially by my little niece who thinks I'm her silliest Aunt. I can't disappoint her! So enjoy Amanda...that's all for you!
Back to Bruno's very harsh comment of calling her a tramp---notice the only other person clapping (besides Little Kim) was Marlee Matlin---she must have misread his lips and thought he said something like..."You try to be a lady but you're more comfortable as a lamp." That's the only explanation , I can think of as to why Marlee would be clapping. Even I think Bruno took it a little too far. He's so full of it...blaming the blunder on his comment being lost in translation. YEAH RIGHT! You better watch your back Buttface-runo Little Kim's got some BIG friends in the audience who have her bionic back! It was nice to see Lil body, big head Kim realize she got insulted while she was back stage---it's about time you get a clue and realize calling you raunchy and bitchy is not a compliment!---she looked seriously bummed--oh well, she's lived through harder times...she'll get through this, too.
Cheryl "Boobs" Burke and Gilles--They know they are good and they are, but I just don't want Cheryl to win. She's really annoyed me this season and if I have to see that black and purple zip up warm up suit outfit during her rehearsals ONE MORE WEEK---I'll die! Notice, when Gilles mentioned back stage that the two of them have such a good vibe between them and Samantha said, "Yeah, we all know that!"---oooo man oh man...Cheryl did not like that comment one bit! The truth hurts, huh? The second dance was a little too much. I know Cheryl's been waiting all season to do this dance with him and I'm thrilled---just thrilled--it didn't turn out as they expected. The song---"Sexual Healing"---really? The rolling around on the floor?? Wow---that's not breaking any ballroom dance rules or rules of commitment, trust and marriage for that matter. Honestly, the way those 2 carry on...I'm just sick over it! Did I mention the lips touching at the end?? I'm done...DONE DONE DONE! you HOMEWRECKER!!! okay, now I'm done!
Tony and Injured Melissa (injured my foot!) she looked fine to me! She had a bad night as far as costumes were concerned. Her first outfit--what's the point in wearing a skirt if it's gonna be sheer? I could see her tighty whities! I also just love how she keeps touching her ribs to remind us all that she's injured. WHATEVER! As you know, I'm not the biggest fan of hers but I do like Tony and I think it's time he wins! The second dance...well you all saw it...her boob was hanging out of her sequence bra. I was dying---she was dying...AMERICA WAS DYING!!! I even noticed Carrie Ann sneaking a peek at her peak at the ending. I think Len needed some medication for sure on that one! Carrie Ann called that dance flawless (and it was good--for a busted rib and all-ha ha ha) but here's something Melissa can work on for next week---how about getting a costume that fits! So there!!!
Last but not least---I think Little Kim should give some of her big head to Mayo---that professional has got one ridiculously small head for that body of his. If he wins---I'll have so much to say about that next season! Oh dear! My mind is just spinning thinking about it. When Lisa "Big lips" Rhinna said, "I just hope I make Mayo look good!" My first thought was, IMPOSSIBLE"---not matter how good you dance---he'll still have that fist size head. (I'm such a jerk!)
Well folks, that's all she wrote...
Keep Dancing,
Len-da
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