3 minutes of dance makes it a marathon??? My kind of marathon!

Hey friends...let's jump right into it this week--because the time is short and there is much to say.

As always--General Observations and Intro first.
1. Nice to see that Brooke finally has a long dress on. True, she can pull off anything...including a trash bag---but needless to say, I think she got my message.
2. My boy Maks finally decided it was time to look at the camera and not only that but give ME a little signal. Now America can finally know he's mine...ALL MINE.
3. It was so lovely to not have to see EYE HEART YOU from Kate this week. Good riddance! I'm sick of your unnecessary drama and tears (although we have a new resident cry baby---Nicole---more on her later.)
4. And the new winner of most annoying camera span moment...is PAM. She irritates me beyond belief with those stupid looks she gives.
5. Finally---HOLY MOLY---a hurricane must have roared through the set and blown off all the buttons on the men's shirts!!! What the heck was going on last night?!? My first thought was...well naturally--the rest of the group feel confident in bringing their chests out to play when Maks is all covered up in tux (but since we all know how it ends up for Maks...I'll just stop there!) Still...those buttonless shirts are just weird.

Now on to the dancing...
1. Jake and Chelsea-
Quick note...Chelsea is rumored to be dating DWTS very own Mark Ballas. Not sure I saw that coming...but hey...go for it.--Now about Jake---Golly Gee---Pavelka
The moment they announced Jake was first I said (out loud and to myself since the hubby was working) "Five bucks he falls"--Let's just say...I should have bet more! A quick aside...for those of you who know me...you can all attest that there are 3 things in life that are sure to get me to bust out loud laughing. (Close friends...this is the part you list them out loud before I give the answer)--Got your 3? Good. For the rest of you, they are:

1. When people fall (old, young---doesn't matter...I laugh EVERY TIME)
2. When kids fight (over toys, over stuff--doesn't matter--it cracks me up)
3. When we have any sort of clothing malfunction (a zipper open, a skirt tucked in pantyhose...doesn't matter---I'll laugh for just about anything of that sort)

Now for the record, I'm not proud of myself for laughing at any of the said things...but it's the truth and well...I had to say it. Now, knowing that...you can understand why I must have Jake stay on longer! I get a sure laugh every time he dances! EVERY TIME! America...do your part and give a preggo woman a good laugh...Vote for buttershoes... oh and one last thing...how that fool manages to get three 7's when he falls every time is beyond me. A fall is hardly worth a 21.

2. Evanna-
Please please please take that beanie off when you rehearse. I'm sweating just watching you. AND HOLY FREAKING MOLY what the heck was Anna thinking trying to back flip him? He's twice her height... My goodness, I swore that guy broke his neck. I cringed and grunted at the constant replay of the darn fiasco. That injury alone deserved some great scores for the judges this week. Sadly, those horrible excuses for human beings showed no mercy to our little cripple. I can agree just a tad that his samba was a bit balletic...but still, he was much better than Jake---because he---with a concussion and everything...still managed to do the whole dance...WITHOUT FALLING!!! Horrible, inconsistent judges. HORRIBLE! Glad he was okay. uggh still thinking about that crash landing and cringing as I type.

3. Niecy and Louie-
A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G!!!!! I'm over her and her type of comedy. I get that you're trying to be the funny "fat" chick...but it's not working for you. She strikes me as the type of girl that can make fun of her weight day and night and then the minute one person makes a comment back to her---watch out the claws (not the ones on her eyes---I know it gets confusing) come out and strike. I would hardly call that dance comedic...in fact, I agreed with Carrie Ann (for once last night---that she didn't need to include that). A few more notes about the reactions and comments from Louie and the judges regarding the cookie bit at the end. Did Louie actually say as he stuffed his face with food...that "now I know what she feels like." HUH??? Are you implying that Niecy does that? Tsk tsk tsk...that was uncool...however going back to my first comments...when you constantly make fun of yourself for loving food---you open up that gate that says, "I give the rest of the world permission to make comments about my weight!" Don't believe me? Well, then...let's take a look at what Lenny boy said to her, "It's obvious you're an enthusiastic eater!" --Translated that means--"Hey you fatty--it's obvious you can't stop eating based on your size and weight!" Oooo boy...she'll regret opening up that bag of chips...(I had to use a food example...I just had to.)

4. Maks and Erin--
Maks my dear, lucky for you...I've been interested in opening up an institution--you can be my first and only patient. I will nurse you back to health (and that's not a literal comment about nursing...don't go there folks). Now about the dance---I must admit, although, I loved the strip tease...I just knew Len would have a cow. I knew it! What I didn't know...was that Maks would get so snippity with him. Threw his shirt at him? (well...whatever was left of it)--then interrupts Len to point out that the audience loved it! Easy honey...we need those judges whether you think so or not. I have to admit...although my vote is always and forever for MAKS...I'm not terribly impressed by them. Don't get me wrong, they are one of the better couples...but I'm still waiting for that DANCE that will take my breath away. And Erin...please just shut up and do what Maks says, okay? Until they give me that amazing dance...I'll just have to settle for Maksy taking my breath away!

5. 85 and Cheryl-
This is normally the part where I hit the mute button and catch up on my much needed nap---I'm so over them, that I really can't even say that I watched their segment. I did hear Cheryl tell him to man handle her...oh brother...after that comment I secretly wished they would get all tangled up together and fall...HARD. But...their dance was one of the better Tango's of the night. But who really knows... I was washing dishes during their part.

6. Nicole and Derek-
waaaa waaaa waaaa---she's either crying..or whining or making up something to be dramatic about. I'm so done with her---and with that Captain Stubbing jacket she was sporting. Steve must have let her borrow it. (sorry folks...that joke is strictly for Cerritos College readers). Len, did manage to get back into my good graces when he brought Nicole back down a few notches. However, I fear she might cry because of this!!! Oh and another sure bet on DWTS is that Brooke will mention her hay day on the show during the aquarium segment...and ching ching ching...I win again!

7. Pamien-
I noticed that our little vixen is not as annoying in rehearsal as she is on performance night. I wish she'd just be herself and stop trying to be funny with the sexual innuendos...it's so cliche! "I prefer to be on top!"---okay okay...we can all watch your numerous scandalous videos if we want to know those kinds of details about you. Just shut it and dance. Her dance was okay--some good parts some bad.

THE SWING DANCE MARATHON---sheesh...3 minutes and all of a sudden we call it a marathon. I loved how Jake (who was soooo quick to say, "Golly gee, I didn't even give that lift my full power!") was the first to be tapped out of the competition! HYSTERICAL. But had the judges given him a little more time on the floor...we would have seen a fall...I'm sure. Darn it...robbed of a good laugh! Who else could have bet money Nicole would be the winner...so predictable!

Well folks..the prediction for me for tonight is:
Bottom 3--Jake, 85, and Niecy
Hoping 85 or Niecy go first!

Until next week...
Keep Dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba