Season Nine Premiere--(night 1 of 3)

Welcome back my fine friends!!! Season 9 is here and of course ABC is gonna drag this out for 3 nights. Oh brother. Here is a thought--how about we don't start with 40 couples off the bat? hmmmm??? If we started with 10 couples we could probably get to every couple and still finish in 1 hour. I love this show but 2 hours for 3 nights???...is just darn ridiculous.

But anyway...when I heard that the women and Macy Gray (I'm not quite certain she's a woman yet) would be dancing Tuesday night, I almost turned the TV off. If Maks is not performing then I might as well call it a night--so with eyes rolling, some grumbling under my breath and while reaching for the remote to hit the OFF button--- I hear the music, I see the flashing lights and of course they hooked me in. More specifically..I saw that my precious Maksy and his back up dancers were descending to that shiny dance floor---My heart started beating and my eyes were fixed on him. No need for the remote except for maybe to hit pause on guess who??---(okay Linda...wipe the drool and move on already. You'll have to excuse me...he is single again. Who didn't see that coming??)

General Observations:
1. Is Samantha pregnant?? Never in my life have I wanted to hear that announcement made about someone. Just think of it...Samantha pregnant=MATERNITY LEAVE which in turn = a very nice break for the viewers.
2. Do any of you have any idea how much joy it brought me to see Cheryl paired with Tom?? Hysterical. She needed a good kick off her pedestal from last seasons very touchy grabby love fest with the gypsy Gilles. Take that you hussy!
3. Good grief Kathy Ireland...could you move any slower coming down those stairs? Was she using a cane? I know the stairs have proven to be slippery but come on! I'm aging here!
4. I can't stand that so-called model Joanna. Probably because she looks like Karrrrrina! Both trash.
5. Macy Gray---tame the Afro baby...I can't see your partner (oh who cares...it's only Jonathan). I can't wait to see her perform. If it's anything like her singing performances...we're in for a treat! A real treat!
6. Nice dye job Bruno...I believe you are more of a walnut dream rather than blackest black.

Now on to the dancers.

1. Aaron and Karina-
Okay Aaron..newsflash...you're white!
You had a hit record at 8 years old? Really? I highly doubt that! Your only real claim to fame is being one of the Backstreet Boys' kid brother. Get over yourself. Antother thing what's with Carrie Ann saying , "My, my Aaron...you're all grown up" Hands off you cougar---I don't think he's legal yet. And finally... Any moron that calls Karina a hottie or an ideal coach because she's beautiful---is officially on my "You disgust me list"

2. Anna and Chuck-
I just want to say that I'm pretty certain he was picturing Anna as that big blue punching bag he uses during workouts. Because while dancing he tried his little heart out to smile but instead just looked constipated. A real pity. And it didn't appear that Anna appreciated the very poetic Samantha calling her a "thing"--She's still the idiot I remember.

3. Edyta and Ashley-
He's a comedian? Yeah...sure. and I'm a politician! Boy oh boy did Orange Hamilton look bad or what? I didn't think it was possible to get more orange but some how he managed. Keep it up and you'll lose that signature mole of yours. Anyway...it's pure music to my ears, hearing Edyta say, "Pooosh poosh"-- that accent kills me every time! I'm a tad surprised he got a 4 and Mo"huck" Chuck got a 6. Come on!

4. Donny and Kym--
One word---ANNOYING! That fool manages to annoy me the first second he's on. He gets no "puppy love" from me. His new name is Donnoy---cause he Donnoys the crap out of me! Already with the shenanigans---running across the floor, making those stupid "performance faces"--Get ready folks...we're in for a very very long season! I do love that the judges called him out on being a little too "showy"---a little? Paahlese! Oh and I get it...Marie is gonna be in the audience...no need to show her every 2 minutes.

5. Louie and Chelsea-
Holy moly---Willy Wonka's umpalumpas called and want to know when you'll be back at the candy factory??? (I know that was mean...but something is just not right there!) And if you had any doubt about what's really going on there...his circus tricks proved it!.. Yes, I'm mean...but who cares, you guys all eat it up. I say the things you'd never say yourselves, right?...Bruno HOWEVER--has no right to call him "a cute dancing hobbit"---Oh really...now there is the smurf calling the hobbit short...At least Umpa"louie"mpa is cute and clever...unlike you...

6. Michael and newbie Anna-
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7. Tom and Cheryl-
Pure joy...it's just so fitting that she get paired with him. I love my little conservatives!

8. Mark and Lacey-
I literally almost forgot them. So that shows you I'm not very interested in these two. Lacey the self proclaimed rebel looked a little thick to me (sorry but had to say it) and finally when Carrie Ann said she's happy that the Asians are being represented...I practically puked. Uhhhh hello...what about Kristi Yamaguchi???You weren't so thrilled then. What? You're only happy when the MALE asians represent? How about I Kung Fu fight your face in!

Dancing Relays...
Just make the show 1 hr and 30 min.---okay???

Looking forward to Maks...errr...I mean the ladies dancing tonight. Until then...

Keep Dancing.
Len-da Isa-ba---