Week 5---Movie Night

Hey folks...
How thrilled was I that instead of finding filler for 2 whole hours--ABC got smart and just made it a 90 minute show. Good call. The show was jam packed with critiquing goodness...so let me get right to it.

Have I mentioned how much I'm loving this season? I truly am. The cast of characters they've got is a blogger's dream.

Some general comments on the Intro-
1. Does Brooke Burke ever wear a long gown?--Yeah she's got good legs...but it's a little strange to me that they don't dress her in the long formal gowns like they did Samantha. I guess it's truly out with the old and in with the new. Samantha who? is what I say.
2. Len's shirt was awful.
3. Our resident bad boy and Mr. causes Len-da's heart to pitter patter was once again too good to look at the camera. I love that! He's just too darn busy and too darn important to look America in the eyes. You go...Maksy...it works for you.
4. Seriously Kate...is it necessary to do the whole point to my EYE ---heart---you-- to the camera when your entire gaggle of kids is sitting in the audience??? I didn't actually see them---I think she's legally bound not to have them on camera now a days...but I know they were in town with her this week.

Next up...the Dancing...or walking in some people's cases.

1. Niecy and Louie-Okay...I'll give it to Niecy---she had some funny lines last night--BUT I'm still sticking to my guns and saying...It's time for her to retire those horrendous eyelashes and sit out the rest of the season. She's too much. Too much eyelash...too much boob...too much loudness...TOO TOO MUCH. When she mentioned how she wears herself out...all I could think was---you wear yourself out? Shoot...you wear us all out! I did notice that she made a very big deal about not being able to fit in between Louie's legs and well...yeah that's true and funny---but notice how when the actual dance came on---they had reversed the role and had Louie go in between her legs. HYSTERICAL. I must admit I'm totally with Len on this one. There was a lot of bazooka shaking but not enough hopping around. Louie was literally prancing all over the place and she looked like she was being weighed down. It must be those darn eyelashes again.--I felt the scores were fair. Her days are numbered folks...yes they are.

2. 85 and Cheryl---Okay seriously is anyone else over him and his love proclamations to Cheryl? Quite frankly I never found it amusing but now it's just total overkill. If he would just cut all that out--I'm sure I'd like him. He's not a horrible dancer, he has some good moves and can keep rhythm but that whole "kiss me Cheryl, I love you Cheryl, here's a ring Cheryl" is really annoying--even to Cheryl---She didn't look amused at all last night. He can go too...and he just might.

3. Maks and Erin-"The whole week according to Maks"---AS IT SHOULD BE! Even though, the world knows my feelings for the guy--I have to be true to the blog and say--the love quarrels during rehearsal look a tad rehearsed and made up to me. Come on...it's just a little hard to believe. There...I said it...now I can move on to the dance. I wish I could say it was UMA-lievable---but it was just good. I think the scores could have been a tad higher but all in all, I think it was fair. I was very worried about using that menu at the beginning as a prop---when will these dancers learn that Lenny boy just ain't digging the prop business. Did you all notice that last night Maks made history? It was the first time I ever saw him with his shirt buttoned?!?! Not the kind of history I need him to make--but whatever. Oh and did I catch a little kissy kissy at the end before we broke for commercial between MY Maks and Erin??--well now... that little kissy kissy...made me very pissy pissy!---Watch it missy missy-the claws are out!!!

4. Jake and Chelsie---boy oh boy...have I got a lot to say on this one...bear with me. First, I think it's important that I mention that today on my way in to work...(at the crack of stinking dawn) he was being interviewed by MYFM (104.3) and I just caught the tail end of it--but one of the questions asked was, "Are you now more comfortable in front of the camera?" And his response was, "Well, yeah but I think that also has to do with the fact that I was a child actor!!!" Apparently, he appeared on like 2 episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger --for all you Chuck Norris fans out there--as little Chuck Norris in his flashbacks. Then he added that he changed his career to flying planes (a likely story) because acting is really hard and he can make a lot more money being a pilot! OH PAHLEESE!!! Give up the charade...we all know you aren't a pilot---cause if you were really making so much money doing that...you wouldn't have taken more than a year off to pursue this Hollywood lifestyle. In fact, he might need to re qualify to fly a plane when he finally does come back to the big money making career---Seriously--I hardly think that flying a plane is like riding a bike. He's been off gallivanting with women for too too long that I seriously think some re-schooling is in order. I wouldn't want him flying my plane!---BUT ANYWAY---back to the dance--Okay, well, when he said that people tell him he looks like Tom Cruise...the only resemblance I saw is ...they are both ANNOYING AS _________ (you fill in the blank). Doesn't Jake strike you as the type of guy that would jump on couches declaring his love for some chick? Yeah...I could so see him doing that! When that fool came out topless, in skin-tight...and I do mean SKIN TIGHT jeans and a volleyball I was irritated beyond belief. You think that's gonna help your chances with the voters??? No--it won't. But just to be certain---he decides to take his pants off, too...So ridiculous. I thought Lenny would have a cow but that old geezer is losing his touch cause he wasn't as upset about it as I thought he would be. Figures Bruno was the only one having that whole dance in your underwear business. And once again --did you all hear that singer in the background who's obviously going through puberty--crackety crack crack crack...like fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn't think the dance was as good as the judges did. Maybe, it's because he 's awkward or annoying...but the judges loved it...so he might be safe one more week. The last thing I'll say about Jake (for this week) is I'm with Chelsie..."I came in here ready to treat...uh...uh.. this..dan..da...duh.. dance competition as flying an..an...an... airliner but it's more like...areo...air..ba...aerobatics?" HUH??? That dork has the lamest jokes and comments!

5. Pamien-The judges are way too easy on her...WAY. Especially, Bruno. I actually felt this week...she sucked...at dancing that is...(oooo snap). The intro was wayyy to long and where was the quick in QUICKSTEP? I think I noticed some major mistakes and yet, the judges (except Len) were so pleased with her. Yeah..fine...she's good at channeling her character...but isn't this a dance competition first and foremost? YES IT IS! So, who cares if your knockers are the spitting image of Dolly's---let's see you dance for more than 10 seconds. Bruno gave her an 8??? Really??? That man either swings both ways or is losing it!

6. Kate and Tony-Surprise...surprise she's one of the last contestants to go on. WHAT A SHOCKER!--Okay...here it is...I am loving having her on the show because it gives me so much material for the blog---but enough is enough...I can't figure her out. Did she not say last week that she loves being on the show and now she really wants to continue because she's finally having fun??---Does this woman look like she's having fun? I would have much more respect for her if she just said, "Look, I'm horrible but I need the money to support my kids--because unlike my ex...I do work and he doesn't (seriously---why doesn't that fool work?)"--Instead, all she does is questions Tony constantly, needs him to get her excited every time they rehearse, and she's always discussing how she's had a really bad week"---JOIN the club! You think you're the only one with problems? "I don't want to go home..I'm not ready to go home...My kids really love seeing this show and I need to keep dancing for them"---THEN SHUT UP AND DANCE--or at least TRY TO! Sheesh. She definitely took major steps backward this week. She looked bad...BAD...and when she stretches out her arms she looks like she's hanging from a clothes line. I felt her dance was too slow and I didn't get the costume choice at all. Tony should have been wearing grunge and she should have tried to look like Molly Ringwald. CULT CLASSIC PEOPLE! Well, anyway...she ruined that song for all of us--forever. I also saw a clip of her on Jay Leno and she told Jay she has hope that she might win this season? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I know you have fans...but come on....there is no way that is going to happen! NO WAY! Have your bags packed sister...cause it's only a matter of time.

7. Nicole and Derek-Or should I call them Nicrybaby and De-most annoying ever!
Why is she always crying? I don't get it. She's great. Her dance was great and she's been on top of the leader board or close to the top every week. Stop the waterworks already! And please judges...just keep your panties on and sit while you give your comments, we don't need you to stand and give your remarks...

8. Evanna-Hey there buddy...Justin Bieber called and he wants his bangs back??? heh..heh..heh. I thought they did great! He's officially grown on me. I'm an Evan fan! I knew in time...this would happen. He's always polite, no nonsense...no drama...just silly and witty and well...he always says the right thing. Especially, when he said the only person I'm competing with is myself. That did it for me! Evan...you can gladly win season 10. Although...I still have to give my votes to Maks.---you understand.

My predictions for tonight...
In the bottom 2--Niecy and Kate and Niecy is going home.

Let's see if I'm right.

Until next week....
Keep Dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba