Week 2--Let the DRAMA begin.

Welcome back friends and fans--DWTS is officially back with all the crazy drama and antics of any good reality TV.

As always I'll begin with the Intro and general observations before moving right into the dancing.

Notice how after all the couples come down the grand stair case (which I see the execs stopped polishing...no more slips, falls or close calls--DARN) they all line up and then the camera pans through all of them and they each give that cheesy smile, wink, thumbs up, "hi mom" or puckering of the lips---my dear sweet--ever confident and professional Max did not participate. It only goes to show he's there strictly for the most serious of reasons and he will not waste time on the silly games all those others play. --Bravo, my sweet professional...Bravo!

During that same little pan across all contestants I couldn't help but be beyond irritated at Pam Anderson trying to pull off the innocent bit. Oh give it up already---the words Innocent Pam--go against all that is natural in this world.

Brooke looked stinking hot! Seriously, have we ever seen the female sidekick sporting a short cocktail dress?? I don't think so. Yeah, so I hate her a little but I guess if I were paid to look good---I'd somehow find the motivation.

Final comment on the intro---the fact that good ole' Lenny's shirt and pocketchief (whatever that dealy is called--I'm an immigrant so sue me!) clashed beyond words drove me nuts all night. I mean really wardrobe folks--how difficult is it to use the same fabric swatch to make that little ensemble coordinate. Sheesh.

Now on to the dancing...
1. Shannen and Mark-
She definitely did better than last week, but my goodness that hair and those teeth are quite the distraction. Her bangs hanging below her eyes were driving me bonkers. I'm sure it would be helpful to be able to see while dancing! Geez...way to put all the pressure on your partner in leading. It's one thing to lead an inexperienced dancer and it's another to lead an inexperienced dancer with her eyes SHUT! Good grief woman---get a trim--or a least bobby-pin. I noticed the resident bad girl in the 90210 zip code is back and better than ever. Ease up Brenda Walsh...you're not fighting Kelly for Dylan okay? Just listen to Mark and cut the attitude. I do need to mention that I really am over the cast members running out into the audience and giving smooches and hugs to the loved ones---except when Shannen did it. It makes me happy to see her dad so excited to see her out there. Why is she any different than the other fools that run out there?---not sure...but for now I will allow it. NEXT...

2. Hotty couple Aiden and Edyta-
First off, what the heck was Edyta wearing in rehearsals? It was this poncho meets life vest meets Christmas tree skirt. Aye yay yay---that girl and her accent and clothes. Some things are just too good to change. I personally think the guy is not a bad dancer but for some strange reason they think he's awful. I'm a tad annoyed by that. He is not as bad as they make him sound. Comparing him to Kenny Main??? Really? I mean how many dudes can keep dancing after getting two elbows to the head while dancing. Not many...I guarantee it. I noticed our favorite lift police judge has had a change of heart about him. I think she's interested in a relationship and is trying to get into his good graces. Keep an eye out. It's pretty clear to me she wants him. I mean...really who else is there? We don't have any youngins' on the show this season...so, as she should, she's keeping an eye out for the hot one.

3. Evan and Ana---who from now on will be Evana
What is wrong with this dude? Too many falls on the ice or something cause I am practically falling asleep as he talks. MONOTONE!!!! I get the whole dry sense of humor thing...but this goes beyond that too much. Yes, I'll admit-- he's good, but seriously--he's already used to the crazy costumes and looking a little feminine (don't get all crazy on me...I'm merely saying no male ice dancer/skater looks masculine while performing--sorry)-so getting him to really get into dancing is not too far of a stretch. His comment to Brooke about it's nice to work with someone and feel like you're a team rather than being alone was sweet and endearing so 1 point for that. I also want to comment on Brooke's comment about being able to eat cheesecakes...why was Ana so freaking confused about that? Hey there my little ruskie...do they not have dessert in Russia? Oh that's right...you're just not allowed to eat it. And come to think of it...Brooke probably has never had a piece of cheesecake in her life...so just shut up Brooke...

4. Niecey and Louie--
It's clear, Louie's petrified of her. I mean there was nothing he could say to her without her getting all crazy on him. OOOOO snap...don't mess with the Diva cause she'll Reno 911 all over your girlie butt. Seriously, did they mix up their costumes cause I could have sworn I saw Louie prancing like a woman throughout the dance. You can't wear a pink suit and prance like that...you just can't! I really wish Niecey would stop the lip-syncing...however, maybe she's good a singing and could possibly take the place of our annoying resident back up singer (notice I haven't mentioned much about her this season...cause I just can't muster up enough strength to do it--but just know...I am suffering in silence every time they show that woman!) Back to her dancing, let's be honest folks...the judges were way too easy on her cause they're afraid of her, too. And really Carrie Ann---the whole did I spot a lift business was just stupid. I don't think it's physically possible for Louie to lift anyone.

5. Jake and Chelsie-
First off...your jeans are too tight. The 80's called and want them back! Second, I think it's hysterical how tough he gets with a teenager. "I'm not asking you to change the dance, I'm telling you..." Oh okay, wimp...I'll get right on it! Third, the high water pants suited his DORK persona perfectly and FINALLY---It literally made me laugh out loud when Chelsie emphasized that their relationship is like brother and sister--Get it Jake? She's not interested in a rose okay? Good girl Chels...keep reminding him.

6. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz---
Yeah that's right! I said it...He put me to sleep! I'm sorry. I know that's harsh but come on...what is he doing there? He makes Ashly make a dancing steps map? Oh boy. The music selections for these people crack me up. "Fly me to the Moon"--too funny. I know I'm harsh on gramps but when those judges lay into him, I want to rip their heads off. Give the guy a break. Yes, Carrie Ann, Buzz was dancing like he was afraid. He was afraid he would break a hip. And Bruno, just chill out a little okay. No need to take your critiquing so far. After the performance, the comment made by Brooke about showing his precious Lois his dance moves was great! Hey there Brookster...what's that old saying...There may be snow on the roof but there is still a fire burning in the furnace. Go get 'em tiger!

7. Nicole and Derrick-
She was great but it's not surprise. It's like me getting an A in Romanian class. I already speak the language--so really...an A is nothing to get so excited about! I don't think she was perfect and received two 10's but for some reason Bruno and Carrie Ann are just wild about her. Bruno must want front row seats to her next concert or something. Oh and Brooke enough about your dancing days with Derrick. It's getting old.

8. Maks and Erin-
I love it when Maks gets all demanding and serious! Music to my ears to hear him say, "LISTEN TO ME! ENOUGH!!!" So hot. Word on the street is he and Erin are an item. Surprise surprise Maks is dating his dance partner. My man is quite the little playa isn't he? I could have done without the whole neck nuzzle fake make out at the end of the dance. Break my heart a little more why don't you? Then apparently, Erin had a little "nip slip" and my dear sweet Maksy had to be the one to tell her. GRRRRRR. I did not care for their little lovers banter about him not having a bicep--you just shut it. How dare you...next you'll say he doesn't have a bottom...Also, I caught our little Erin in a lie--night one she said she requested Tony---now she says she requested Maks cause he's such a great teacher that pushes his students. LIAR!!! So which is it? Tony or Maks??? hmmm?? And Tom..don't ever comment on Maks's ego. EVER!

9. Pam and Damien-
I'm sooooo over all of her sexual innuendos. What's wrong with being a normal woman in her 40's? Why this constant need to be a sex symbol? It's over the top. I'm happy to report that she did much better than last week---probably cause she wasn't drunk or high. I actually can't believe I'm gonna say this but elegance really suits her. She should try it once in a while. OKAY and now for my favorite part of the whole season...Did Len really need to use the word Tittybating..tittyfacing...what the heck? Why? Why would that word come to mind? Gee I wonder! Again, back stage she does the whole innocent act and I was just over it! OVER IT!

10. 85 and Cheryl-
I don't' think it's fair to give him less points because his derriere sticks out. I mean...that's the way the dude is built. He can't change that! My recommendation for 85 is a little less flirting and a lot more practicing! Perhaps the judges wouldn't be so hard on you if you put in more effort to dancing and not wooing Cheryl. Oh and Carrie Ann...who are you kidding...what do you possibly know about football? Please stop comparing football to dancing okay?

11. Finally Kate and Tony-
Whoa FIREWORKS!!! I understand they were both frustrated with one another but I have to say I was a tad surprised at Tony walking out like that. They really must have left out a lot of the annoyances she must have caused. There were so many good parts about their whole bit that I'm not quite sure where to begin---how about with Kate's shocking..."I don't' get it"----You don't get it? Really? Watch any of the first 5 seasons of your show and you'll get it! How about the zings she threw Jon's way..."Thank you for coming back, Tony...a lot of people quit on me in my life"--oooo ruthless! Let's keep reminding America what a victim you are! A victim who lives in a million dollar home for free! Then the dancing begins and whoa...speechless. She was awful! She looked so uncomfortable, scared, unsure...stiff...bad bad bad! When Bruno said, that the song, "I'm still standing (which again, is such a clever selection for Kate---ABC's on a roll) reminds me of dancing with Elton John"...oh dear...what a visual! Then when she went for her scores...she managed to get in one more zing and pity vote from the fans. "The one thing I learned was that Tony and I are not quitters!" Enough already, I'm sure Jon's not watching the show!

Well guys...that about wraps up another week of DWTS. Never a dull moment. Until next time--

Keep dancing,
Len-da Isa-ba