Len-da is on HIATUS baby!`

Well dear friends and loyal readers---as you have probably noticed..Len-da Isa-ba is on a reviewing hiatus at the moment. I'm not saying, I've given up on the show and that I won't watch again this season or next or the one after that. It's just that at this very moment...I'm not available to keep up with this rigorous reviewing schedule.

So I challenge my loyal friends, readers, and fellow critics...to get creative and review the show for me. Similar to the shenanigans on the show of getting guest judges, we'll have guest reviewers.

If interested please, email me and let me know what week you'd like to review and my contribution to the assignment will be to give you an appropriate reviewer alias. There can only be one Len-da Isa-ba...but I think I can get pretty creative when I need to.

Also, I can post your email content right on to the website and send it out like I always do. So you'll be very official. Please include a photo of yourself if possible. (What a fun assignment this will be!)

I promise to return and resume my responsibilities in a little while---that is if I'm still needed and wanted by the end.

Hope you'll take on the challenge.

On temporary hiatus---
Len-da Isa-ba

Week 4 and 4 new dances...

Let's see if I can make it through the entire 5 hour show without my eye candy.

I see they are now making an attempt to add new dances to change up the show. I believe they have tried this before and it didn't prove to be fair well. Let's see how it goes this time around. Apparently, the shows ratings have dropped MAJORLY! It hasn't been this low since 2005 or 2006. I'm not surprised. The producers are thinking they might need to cut it down to having the show once a year rather than 2. My idea is cut down the contestants to 8or 10 couples...make hte show 1 hour long and eliminate results night completely. That would perk up the audience.

I would like to take a moment and predict IN WRITING that I have a sneaky feeling that one way the show will boost ratings is by asking Kate Gosselin to join the cast. They are waiting for the divorce drama to end and then mark my words...they'll catch that big fish... hook, line and sinker! She's greedy and loves to be in the spotlight...so what a perfect fit! Just wanted to put that out there! And I'm sure they'll pair her up with my Maksy and that will be the final nail in my coffin. URGHGHAGH

Anyway...moving on...


Chuck and Anna-Entertaining, but the guy really needs to go. He's not very good. I think he's fun to watch but I'm slowly getting over it. The one thing that I am sick to death of is his HAIR---or lack of hair. I just can't stomach it. What self-respecting man has a Mohawk?
Oh brother...how painful was it to listen to Chuck explain to SaMANtha about the lasso...spit it out buddy.


Melissa and Mark-I was already annoyed at their pre-dance squat-fest....but they won me over. That dance was awesome. I loved the black and white effect at the beginning and then the music and steps...great job! The one thing that I'm gonna say about Mark and yes this is going to be mean...so brace yourself. Was he wearing those funny groucho glasses and nose? Sure looked like it to me. Yikes Mark...YIKES.

Natalie and Alec- EXCELLENT. I really like her. She has yet to annoy me. That is a very good sign. She had excellent balance and some fancy split tricks... She also has become a lot more comfortable with being so close to Alec. I think the judges are ridiculous. Okay...you want Natalie to be more romantic and close than she already was...geez louise--THE MAN IS MARRIED. As for what Bruno blubbered...I can't say I even bothered to listen.

Aaron and Karrrina--I can barely stand to look at that little baby and his hussy. Can you even believe that there is talks that he and Karina are an item. Oh brother. Wow...her standards have sure taken a NOSE dive! That scene with Aaron crying and needing his brother from another mother to comfort him---I couldn't help but shake my head in disapproval. He bugs. She bugs. AND of course they would get the Lambada of all dances. Those producers sure are smart. They know what sells and based on the press..this might be it. I thought the dance was awful. AWFUL. I'm not sure how gymnastics fit into it at all, there was a lot of aggressive dancing that didn't flow., and a lot of unnecessary repetition. My favorite part was when they totally RUINED the ending. PERFECT. Just perfect. Oh boy... those judges comments are gonna make him cry. You can totally see the lip quivering. I'm sorry...did any of you listen to Karina's explanation for the backflip? Hysterical. NO sense...none. "We thought that when you go to the beech and you are having fun and the flip and the water and the heat...WHAT??? And I loved how Aaron was telling all of us that he won't cry this time around....you sure about that buddy?

Lacey and Mark-It's always a nice touch to include some family visits. I think I expected him to do much worse. He was actually pretty good. That song..and those singers...oh boy...that was awful. They really messed that one up! I am a little sick of all the contestants running out in the audience and stealing kisses...just wait until after the show okay?

Louie & Kelly-She auditioned for Chicago...got the lead...and then they took it away cause she couldn't dance...sure she did. She probably made the call backs and then when they realized she can't dance they cut her from the audition pool. Got the lead....yeah right. And those nails...geez...as you all know I love love love nail polish...but that's a bit much even for me. The dance was good but they went a little overboard.---THEY ALL went overboard. I think Melissa's was better. WAIT A COTTON PICKEN MINUTE...did you all hear that SaMANtha apparently played Roxy in Chicago...oh gag me! Maybe her understudy...

Joanna and Derek...(cue barf fest---NOW!) I also am not an animal person so that whole pet adoption idea didn't do a thing for me. Again...producers why do you have to make Derek and Joanna do the Lambada, too. It's not enough that Karrrina (her twin) had to dance it, too. How do they decide who dances what? Oh dear...Derek put your shirt back on. No one wants to see a prepubescent boy half naked up there...NO ONE! I hate that they love her. I hate that they are all making such a big deal about them. But Tom B. was hysterical when he said he thinks that the parents are probably in bed, too. ha ha As far as Derek thinking he can compete in the big leagues and take off his shirt with the best of them...i.e. MAKS...not quite! Keep trying!

Donny and Kym-The throwing himself on the ground during rehearsal...I'm sure your kids will love seeing their daddy throw a temper tantrum. Newsflash...kids pick up on things we say and do right??? You're in for a real treat! As for their dance...very entertaining. I think I really like the Charleston. Those dances were the most fun to watch.

Michael and Anna---I forwarded right through it... sorry...not a fan favorite. Anna is soooo boring they need to bring in Tony to spice things up a bit. There time is limited...very limited.

Chelsie and Louie-I miss Ty. That whole piece was so cute. the mini-me comment...the "I need a booster" to get on the horse...too too funny. What I love about Louie is that when the judges knock him and tear him to shreds---he gets this smirk on his face as if his grandpa said something totally old-fashioned. I love it. He's such a good sport...no crying for this guy.

Mya and Dmitry--they are good. No doubt about it.

And finally the show ends and I can catch some shut eye.

Keep Dancing,

Len-da Isa-ba

Maksy eliminated...

Disgusted! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED!

Maks and Debi were way better than Chuck, the Football player snoozefest, Tom DeLay, and many more...

I'm really not interested in the season now!

But I will include a link to an article from People.com that is entitled something that brings music to my ears...

Maks: I'm done with Karina!

Whoever wrote that piece is a literary genius!

Enjoy---
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20310823,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Week 3---I can't believe it's only week 3.

So we begin another week and already with just the grand entrance I have so so much to comment on. However, I think I'll pace myself. I just want to give an honorable mention to Dmitry & Maks and the costume folks....NICE WORK on dressing or better said...undressing them this week. hee hee hee


As I'm sure you all noticed it's easy to spot who would be rumba-ing and who will be salsa-ing...Thank goodness Tom DeLay is soooo not rumba-ing. What a horrid mental picture.


I'm glad Lenny boy is back. I miss that ole' chap...chip chip cherrio lad. (Whoa girl...where did that come from?)


Lacy and Mark---Rumba -I'm sorry you Mark fans out there--but he is just not a sexy dance icon. I suppose he's a good looking man...but he doesn't ooze what the Rumba requires...and we all know what that is (think Maks or Dmitry). It was like watching my dentist dance. Actually...come to think of it...he looks a lot like my dentist...and I think that's what KILLED it for me! I think my next dental visit will make for an awkward one...great...just great. As if dental visits aren't bad enough. WAIT...Kathy Ireland..is married to Mark the food network guy??? I swear he was holding Kathy's hand at the beginning of his dance. Did you guys think that, too?

Joanna & Derrick--Okay first off...Derrick's peach fuzz makes me sick.---S-I-C-K. I can't even describe it. It's like watching a very annoying kid go through puberty. Yuck! I can't stand Joanna and I literally laughed out loud when she said, "A few of the other contestants have a bigger fan base than I do..." ---Yeah...you think???...that's the under statement of the YEAR! However, I didn't notice her invisalign so she might have gotten a hold of my review from last week and worked on my suggestions. Here's a suggestion for you. Just quit. You'll never win.

Mya & Dmitry--I like her. She's real, clever, and well...someone who has great concentration ability---geez louise that dance was quite close in proximity if you will. Oh brother...Carrie Ann and her self proclaimed lift police title is back...grrrr And what's the deal with everyone being able to do the splits? Is that a new requirement for the show?? Yeah the dance was good but 2 --10's??? Uh come on...that's perfection!? Would you say that was perfection? No...Dmitry?--well yeah I'd say he's pretty close to it...but the dance...no. (And no...Maks and I aren't over...it's just that Dmitry could almost be his kid brother---just a general observation on those Russians)

Melissa & Mark--All I know is that there was this one part in the dance that looked so freaking uncomfortable. Like they had their pant zippers stuck and they were frantically trying to come apart...egads...the rest was okay I guess. Nothing too spectacular there. Over it.



Oh and a random note about Carrie Ann's million zillion necklaces---I wish someone would wrap them around just a wee bit tighter...she bugs. And I noticed SaMANtha had those same necklaces, too...might as well wrap hers tighter, too. Those 2 are just something else....(shaking my head)

Louie & Chelsie-- How cute is he? I was busting up at how excited he was about this dance and how he knew all the ins and outs of what a Rumba involves...including the slicked back wet hair. Hysterical! Watch out Julianne..you have been replaced. Chelsie is officially the new hottie on the block and I love her personality so much more than Julianne's which says a lot! Cause you all know how much I loved Julianne. Len is a prude! A total TOTAL prude!!!!! I can't believe Len gave a 5??? That man is delirious! But Louie... a true smooth dude...not even bothered by Len's craziness...just graciously said I'm happy cause my scores went up. Stupid Len...bring back Baz...that sissy liked everyone and anyone!



Maks & Debi--What the heck was my man wearing during rehearsal...that black and orange tanktop...I think that he must have borrowed that from my closet. It's okay. I forgive him. We share everything.---A quick shout out to Mel B. I love Mel B. That was Maks' best partner. It was nice to see her pop in.--Okay back to this season. Folks please don't be fooled for a minute when Maks tells Thebi to stop talking. He's not being mean...there is only one reason and one reason only for the request--He's over that lisp! I'm certain of it. Poor baby! I don't know how long I could listen to that myself. As I'm sure you all guessed when the dance first opened...I knew Len was gonna hate that intro but Maks shaking his rump totally made up for it! And I'm with Bruno for once...you have a hot hunk dancing with you and you don't touch him?? That woman has lost her marbles. Geth her outh of there and puth Nathalie in her plathe. She would be perfect with my Maksy.



Donny and Kym--I have to say...picturing Donny in the Rumba is a little unsettling. True...he's really growing on me...but him all seductive and sexy...ewww... However, even with that queasy feeling, I was willing to give it a chance and perhaps he would shock me. Well...hmmm...okay---then the dance begun and I was right...ewwww --save that side of you for the bedroom. But of course Len would like it...prude---okay the whole Bruno thing...had me screaming out loud---I laughed at first but then I started to get nervous. You're soooo right Donny-Utah might not let you back after that close call. But now, I fear, it's time I give Donnoy a lecture...Cut out some of the theatrics...it's a little tooo much like Marie. That was very borderline for me. He needs to watch that! Or BAM he's cut off from my kindness. Wait wait wait...Donny gets a 7 and Louie gets a 5---B.S. Total B.S.

Paula---you're not a judge...You were a judge on a totally different show and network but you're not one now! And you're not the next Kenny Main or Adam Corolla...or Len-da...so keep your trap shut and take your meds--cause we don't need your opinions or your ideas of you and Carrie Ann making out. Really...who does she think she is? I think she needs to..forget about taking "two steps forward" and just work on taking many many "steps back"--cause honey..."opposites do not attract" in this town....

Michael & Anna---zzzzzzzzz---I totally forwarded it. I think we should have selected Mayo as our new pro dancer...cause she's boring.---I think they go this week.

Natalie & Alec--Oh how I missed Edyta and that accent more than you'll ever know. Natalie is so cute. I would be just as awkward looking at someone like that.---but you know what's more embarrassing?? Ending the dance with your face in Alec's crotch...that's way more awkward. Careful what you wish for honey...

Anna & Chuck--I love how he called it the most flamboyant dance...sooooo so true. Oh dear...pulling off those sleeves threw him off. Maybe he should be the one to go. Sorry Chuckster..but you're done.


Aaron and Karrrrrrrina-- Guess what Aaron boy---Hugh Hefner called & he wants his smoking jacket back. That's all I'm gonna say...cause I'm tired...very very tired and to think I'm staying up for Karina...that's just wrong.

I have to say one quick thing...isn't it funny how when Maks and Karina had that horrible little period where they were boyfriend/girlfriend (One I am choosing to pretend never happened)...Samantha and ever other schmuck on the show made such a big deal of it...well where is all the big deal making now? Huh?--Come on...let's hear about the break up. I'd love to hear the juicy details...come on ABC...break ups sell... Okay, that's it....


Tom & Cheryl...Oh boy our first injury of the season---just put the darn man out of his misery. I hate the whole "I won't give up!" business---If you're really injured...give it up!--there is no shame in withdrawing when you're in pain.--But I do give him credit for at least letting me see the disaster that we all knew was about to unfold (unlike Jewel or Nancy O'dell who didn't even attempt a dance!--Chickens). I'm sure I'll find some morsal of humor in Tom's performance. Like when he rolled his hips...oh dear...don't ever do that again! EVER! I loved Len's comment,"I wouldn't be judging if I had 2 stress fractures...let alone dancing." funny funny funny.

Kelly & Louie---She's ...how do I put this...hard to look at. She really is...That hair...Or that blubbering all the time...come on...you're not dying...She actually did pretty good. So you see...all that crying for nothing. ---That kiss at the end...ewwww...she totally planted one on him and from the look on Louie's face- I don't think he was okay with it.

Well that's it for now...

Keep Dancing,

Len-da Isa-ba

Week 2 and already slacking

Hey folks...sorry for the delay in my review. I did watch it on Monday but I was soooo tired and there was nothing really too exciting that happened other than Tom DeLay, Kelly Osborne, and Mark the Food Network guy...having some near and real falls. That of course was most exciting for me.

I'm gonna go quick...so try and stay with me...think of it as a QUICK STEP type of review.

I don't get the whole muppets thing...in fact, I thought that was stupid. I guess I'm not the biggest muppets fan---however Karrrria calling herself Miss Piggy was a true delight---hearing that kiss ass Samantha say..."oh no never...I would never call you that"--made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Maks is still a jerk during rehearsals and well...I loved it. I know he would never talk to me like that because I'd give him a titty twister if he did. (I might give him one anyway--ha ha) No seriously...he can get a tad intense but hey...it is what it is...

That "model" Joanna...who by the way, I've never heard of before--CAN and SHOULD take out her "Invisalign" retainer/braces thinga-ma-jig during the one on one interviews. It's extremely distracting---and please don't tell me you never noticed. She doesn't wear it during performances just rehearsals (which is okay---but when you're on the camera talking to the audience about nothing but yourself---please take it out!) oh oh oh and how can I go on without saying how ANNOYING Derrick is this season. My goodness. He's a total spaz. Oh that Derrick and his wild hair and antics. GRRRRRR

I can't believe I'm gonna say this but Donny grew on me this week. He's not really quite as annoying as his sister so I might have to retract my Donnoy nickname...key word is MIGHT. I'll have to wait and see for now.

Aaron Carter still acts ghetto...that's getting just a tad old.

Umpa-louie-pa is so cute. I really like his little smile and the partnership he has with Chelsea. I hope they last a little while. Call me Len-da but he could use a hair makeover. BIG TIME.

Tom DeLay, Kathy Ireland, and the football dude and his ZERO personality professional partner can go, too!

Mya is doing hella good. I like Dmitry. So...good work.

Kelly---quit your crying..it's way too early for the waterworks.

Melissa Joan Hart...I think she put on her grandma's dentures...what's up with her teeth??

I missed Len.

Bruno needs to take a seat and stop standing for his critique...seriously...JUST SIT DOWN.

As for the results show...didn't watch much of it at all...a lot of forwarding. BUT---I was extremely nervous for my Thebi and Makth. I'm glad they made it. However, I think I need to start voting cause it's not looking good for him---excuse me...them.

Oh and don't forget to vote for the whole "Create the Dance" thing they've got going on...this week we select the celebrity we want to come back and dance. I am voting for Mel B!!!!

Well, folks...that's it for this week.

I'm perfecting my "Karrrina" for a future video...stay tuned.

Keep dancing---
Len-da Isa-ba

Season 9 First 2 eliminations!!

The ones that have departed were right on. No surprises there. As much as I wanted Macy Gray to hang on a few more weeks to see her try and attempt a lift...that dream was squashed. However, I felt surprisingly very sorry for her. She looked devastated. I was expecting tears would come rushing out any minute. In fact, the other "stars" saw it, too. You might have noticed them buzzing in the background (and yes...I read lips...so I literally saw, "I feel so bad for her")

Anyway, she and Ashley took the defeat well and moved on.

How funny was the Adam Corolla bit?? I know a certain someone who was in heaven at that very moment. So for you Monica...He was outstanding. I laughed out loud at the, "Donny...you're 51 years old. When can we start calling you Don?" I loved it!

A little bit of funny trivia that some of you probably don't know. I got an email about 2 weeks ago asking me if I want to participate in the live audience for the taping of the Lion King performance we saw last night. The fine print in this email said, none of the stars of DWTS will be there---no judges, pros, hosts...anyone. It's just a special recording for a Macy's Lion King performance. Well, last night...they would have the viewers believe that the Lion King performance was live. Well, it wasn't. In fact, it was a completely different audience than the one that was at last night's elimination show. So, the funny part is, after the performance (by the way...it was awesome and trust me the entire production is worth seeing) but anyway...after the performance and the return back from commercial. Tom Bergeron says, "You should have seen the smile on Tom DeLay's face when that giant elephant came down the steps..." The woman in the audience behind Tom Bergeron had this look of absolute confusion...like.."huh??? what?? what elephant?? I didn't see an elephant???" It was priceless because of course you didn't...don't worry lady...you haven't lost your marbles. It never happened!!! Anyway, it cracked me up. Sneaky little producers...

And finally...was anyone else emotional over the tribute to Patrick Swayze??? I loved it. It's performances like that, that make me appreciate the beauty of dance and how it can really speak volumes!

Well...week one is done and I'm pooped.

Keep Dancing..
Len-da

Season 9 Premiere--night 2- The ladies

Ladies and Gentlemen a travesty has occurred. The first time in 9 seasons, my tivo malfunctioned and didn't record. YES, it's true. I couldn't believe it! I think I'm being punished for my droolfest over Maks the other day. I got home late last night and I decided to start watching the show at 9:30pm. When I noticed it had not recorded, I was extremely bummed, but I realized I had tuned in precisely at the moment of the relays. So...like a true champ, I got over it and got to work. (I'm sure I'll catch what I missed tonight...on the 4 hour recap show!!!)

Let's just say that the last 30 minutes was all I needed to see.

The first dance---The foxtrot.
I think that Thebi Mathar and Makth are thoing very wellth. Ith isth a thrue pleathure to wath them performth. (that lisp however hath got to go!)

I really do think she's got talent and if she can get some fans and lose that lisp...they might be okay. My favorite part was when Thebi Mathar said, "I loved being elegant and laying on Maks" and for the first time in DWTS history Samantha made a funny!!! She said, "I think there are many women out there who would love to lay on...nevermind...I'll leave that one alone" I'm impressed...truly impressed.

I can't stand that model Joanna. I gather she did well last night cause the judges just kept going on and on about her...well...let me tell you all something. If you didn't watch the show SuperStars (FYI--Maks won!) you didn't get the chance to see what a poor sport she is. She is very competitive and when something doesn't go her way she flips on the "witch" switch. Just wait until she has a bad night and the judges get a little harder on her...you'll see a side of her that you might be surprised about. AND of course she'd be paired with Derrick of all people. I'm thrilled because WHEN-- not IF--- but WHEN they do get eliminated...2 people that I don't like will be gone. I wait patiently for that day!

Kathy Ireland should just go home now. She's gorgeous but can't move...and she can't seem to fit in the camera shot---so adios sista!

The swimmer...ahhh...nothing to get excited about.

The second dance--The Cha Cha
Oh dear...Macy Gray. My goodness. There are just no words. NONE. Okay, there might be some. It looks like Macy got an anvil dropped on her head and she's still woozy from the crash!! I mean she's ready to hit the floor at any moment. You know like she just got off those horrible spin you round and round carnival rides and is trying to regain her balance. She's higher than a kite! I really need her to stay around a lot more cause I'm busting up watching her! BUSTING UP!

Sabrina the teenage witch-- did pretty good. I'll have to wait and a see a little more with her.

Mya--Shmya...I don't see why everyone was soooo excited about her.

The most surprising for me was of course Kelly Osborne. She did great and she truly looks like she's been dreaming of being a contestant on this show. She's loving this! and guess what...I love it, too. I'm really rooting for her to stick around a while. She also was very gracious backstage and eloquent in her answer to Samantha (who I still think will reveal she's pregnant this season!).

Finally, the last thing I want to bring up is something that I really should have discussed yesterday. What's the deal with Marie (Kill me now) Osmond and Jermaine Jackson sitting together?? And more importantly why do they insist on showing Marie before and after every commercial break. Geez Louise...

Well folks...I think the double elimination will include Tom and Kathy.