As I'm sure you all noticed it's easy to spot who would be rumba-ing and who will be salsa-ing...Thank goodness Tom DeLay is soooo not rumba-ing. What a horrid mental picture.
I'm glad Lenny boy is back. I miss that ole' chap...chip chip cherrio lad. (Whoa girl...where did that come from?)
Lacy and Mark---Rumba -I'm sorry you Mark fans out there--but he is just not a sexy dance icon. I suppose he's a good looking man...but he doesn't ooze what the Rumba requires...and we all know what that is (think Maks or Dmitry). It was like watching my dentist dance. Actually...come to think of it...he looks a lot like my dentist...and I think that's what KILLED it for me! I think my next dental visit will make for an awkward one...great...just great. As if dental visits aren't bad enough. WAIT...Kathy Ireland..is married to Mark the food network guy??? I swear he was holding Kathy's hand at the beginning of his dance. Did you guys think that, too?
Joanna & Derrick--Okay first off...Derrick's peach fuzz makes me sick.---S-I-C-K. I can't even describe it. It's like watching a very annoying kid go through puberty. Yuck! I can't stand Joanna and I literally laughed out loud when she said, "A few of the other contestants have a bigger fan base than I do..." ---Yeah...you think???...that's the under statement of the YEAR! However, I didn't notice her invisalign so she might have gotten a hold of my review from last week and worked on my suggestions. Here's a suggestion for you. Just quit. You'll never win.
Mya & Dmitry--I like her. She's real, clever, and well...someone who has great concentration ability---geez louise that dance was quite close in proximity if you will. Oh brother...Carrie Ann and her self proclaimed lift police title is back...grrrr And what's the deal with everyone being able to do the splits? Is that a new requirement for the show?? Yeah the dance was good but 2 --10's??? Uh come on...that's perfection!? Would you say that was perfection? No...Dmitry?--well yeah I'd say he's pretty close to it...but the dance...no. (And no...Maks and I aren't over...it's just that Dmitry could almost be his kid brother---just a general observation on those Russians)
Melissa & Mark--All I know is that there was this one part in the dance that looked so freaking uncomfortable. Like they had their pant zippers stuck and they were frantically trying to come apart...egads...the rest was okay I guess. Nothing too spectacular there. Over it.
Oh and a random note about Carrie Ann's million zillion necklaces---I wish someone would wrap them around just a wee bit tighter...she bugs. And I noticed SaMANtha had those same necklaces, too...might as well wrap hers tighter, too. Those 2 are just something else....(shaking my head)
Louie & Chelsie-- How cute is he? I was busting up at how excited he was about this dance and how he knew all the ins and outs of what a Rumba involves...including the slicked back wet hair. Hysterical! Watch out Julianne..you have been replaced. Chelsie is officially the new hottie on the block and I love her personality so much more than Julianne's which says a lot! Cause you all know how much I loved Julianne. Len is a prude! A total TOTAL prude!!!!! I can't believe Len gave a 5??? That man is delirious! But Louie... a true smooth dude...not even bothered by Len's craziness...just graciously said I'm happy cause my scores went up. Stupid Len...bring back Baz...that sissy liked everyone and anyone!
Maks & Debi--What the heck was my man wearing during rehearsal...that black and orange tanktop...I think that he must have borrowed that from my closet. It's okay. I forgive him. We share everything.---A quick shout out to Mel B. I love Mel B. That was Maks' best partner. It was nice to see her pop in.--Okay back to this season. Folks please don't be fooled for a minute when Maks tells Thebi to stop talking. He's not being mean...there is only one reason and one reason only for the request--He's over that lisp! I'm certain of it. Poor baby! I don't know how long I could listen to that myself. As I'm sure you all guessed when the dance first opened...I knew Len was gonna hate that intro but Maks shaking his rump totally made up for it! And I'm with Bruno for once...you have a hot hunk dancing with you and you don't touch him?? That woman has lost her marbles. Geth her outh of there and puth Nathalie in her plathe. She would be perfect with my Maksy.
Donny and Kym--I have to say...picturing Donny in the Rumba is a little unsettling. True...he's really growing on me...but him all seductive and sexy...ewww... However, even with that queasy feeling, I was willing to give it a chance and perhaps he would shock me. Well...hmmm...okay---then the dance begun and I was right...ewwww --save that side of you for the bedroom. But of course Len would like it...prude---okay the whole Bruno thing...had me screaming out loud---I laughed at first but then I started to get nervous. You're soooo right Donny-Utah might not let you back after that close call. But now, I fear, it's time I give Donnoy a lecture...Cut out some of the theatrics...it's a little tooo much like Marie. That was very borderline for me. He needs to watch that! Or BAM he's cut off from my kindness. Wait wait wait...Donny gets a 7 and Louie gets a 5---B.S. Total B.S.
Paula---you're not a judge...You were a judge on a totally different show and network but you're not one now! And you're not the next Kenny Main or Adam Corolla...or Len-da...so keep your trap shut and take your meds--cause we don't need your opinions or your ideas of you and Carrie Ann making out. Really...who does she think she is? I think she needs to..forget about taking "two steps forward" and just work on taking many many "steps back"--cause honey..."opposites do not attract" in this town....
Michael & Anna---zzzzzzzzz---I totally forwarded it. I think we should have selected Mayo as our new pro dancer...cause she's boring.---I think they go this week.
Natalie & Alec--Oh how I missed Edyta and that accent more than you'll ever know. Natalie is so cute. I would be just as awkward looking at someone like that.---but you know what's more embarrassing?? Ending the dance with your face in Alec's crotch...that's way more awkward. Careful what you wish for honey...
Anna & Chuck--I love how he called it the most flamboyant dance...sooooo so true. Oh dear...pulling off those sleeves threw him off. Maybe he should be the one to go. Sorry Chuckster..but you're done.
Aaron and Karrrrrrrina-- Guess what Aaron boy---Hugh Hefner called & he wants his smoking jacket back. That's all I'm gonna say...cause I'm tired...very very tired and to think I'm staying up for Karina...that's just wrong.
I have to say one quick thing...isn't it funny how when Maks and Karina had that horrible little period where they were boyfriend/girlfriend (One I am choosing to pretend never happened)...Samantha and ever other schmuck on the show made such a big deal of it...well where is all the big deal making now? Huh?--Come on...let's hear about the break up. I'd love to hear the juicy details...come on ABC...break ups sell... Okay, that's it....
Tom & Cheryl...Oh boy our first injury of the season---just put the darn man out of his misery. I hate the whole "I won't give up!" business---If you're really injured...give it up!--there is no shame in withdrawing when you're in pain.--But I do give him credit for at least letting me see the disaster that we all knew was about to unfold (unlike Jewel or Nancy O'dell who didn't even attempt a dance!--Chickens). I'm sure I'll find some morsal of humor in Tom's performance. Like when he rolled his hips...oh dear...don't ever do that again! EVER! I loved Len's comment,"I wouldn't be judging if I had 2 stress fractures...let alone dancing." funny funny funny.
Kelly & Louie---She's ...how do I put this...hard to look at. She really is...That hair...Or that blubbering all the time...come on...you're not dying...She actually did pretty good. So you see...all that crying for nothing. ---That kiss at the end...ewwww...she totally planted one on him and from the look on Louie's face- I don't think he was okay with it.
Well that's it for now...
Keep Dancing,Len-da Isa-ba
Posts
