Okay I didn't think it was possible for Samantha's voice to get any lower than it already is but...once again I was proved wrong. Good grief!---You're sick? Stay home and stop infecting others...outbreak monkey!
Okay now on to the dances:
David Allen Grier (DAG) and Kym--
Not much to say here, except how the heck do they expect DAG to Lindy Hop in a freaking tuxedo! I mean---come on---suspenders, bow tie, and a cumberbun??? He can't move with that restricting costume. Not to mention it didn't even match Kym's outfit. Stupid wardrobe people. The other hoppers last night all had very elasticy type clothes and poor DAG is dressed like a waiter. Nice. Real Nice. SABOTAGE! He really needs to start playing up the fact that he's funny cause when he's serious he's boring!
Notice when Bruno starts to give his criticism (just for the record---that little pip squeak is really out of control and mean this season---He's totally cruisen for a bruisen) DAG looks like he's gonna tear his head off. It's quite funny, actually.
Oh and I thought it was so nice of Carrie Ann to point out that he's an "old cookie"---Excuse me missy---weren't you on that hit show "In Living Color" together back in the day??? That makes you an old cookie as well! Idiot!
Lil' Kim and Derek
Okay much like her mystery mole that changes every week...so does her look. Was that the same trash---err girl as last week? Oh brother, I loved how Lil' Kim's biggest challenge this week was not smiling. Here's a thought on how to wipe that smile of your face---why not think of your time in the hoosegow? That should bring back some awful memories right?---Oh yeah right...her time in the Big House was spent with her "girls" watching Dancing with the Stars there...rough life! I noticed the mole was significantly smaller this week. I knew that sucker was a fake. I also noticed she needs to lay off the mascara just a tad--good grief I thought I saw spiders coming out at me. Also, Len got just a tad excited describing that dance. Whoa buddy---whoa.
The dance was quite good, I must admit but was it worth a 10?---not so sure!
Chuck & Julianne (Chulianne)
First off--was her hair pink? Secondly---hey there Chucky...NEWSFLASH: I have a weird fear of falling on my head, too and so does everyone else. A fall on the head = oops you're dead! In his defense I will say the idea Julianne had of him flipping over her---come on Miss "I weigh 70 pounds" what are you thinking? Oh and I think it's safe to say that Bruno thinks he's a dancer this season! NEWSFLASH:--You're a judge Bruno! Nothing more!
I noticed Samantha was getting sicker by the minute and while interviewing Chulianne she apologized by saying, " A sick kid at home=sick mom at work" cue the coughing on Julianne. I guess we should expect to see Jules in the ER next week with Strep. NEWSFLASH Samantha: Stay home and give us a rest... I mean...and get some rest!
Edyta and LT-
LT is way too intense. In fact, I can't even accurately describe them this week so...here's a message from Edyta:
Overall-- it wasn't too spectacular---kinda a snoozefest!
EXCUSE ME but Boys II Men are the entertainment for elimination night! Oh brother. Are they still a group? I think they should call them Men II Old Men.
Chelsea and Ty--This is the first night I saw Ty as a loose cannon. He was a little too excited to throw Chelsea around. Watch out turbo...you're not a bull and she isn't' riding you...okay? However, I thought they did a good job. He's totally improving with every week that goes by. I love Chelsea's bumpit by the way...(it's a hair accessory that gives her that little bump in her bangs--and I have one, too!---go bumpit's go!)
As the night progressed and Sam was harder to hear...I was beaming! BEAMING.
Karrrina and Whoa-zniak--Question---Why do they bother asking anyone over 55 years of age to complete in DWTS. They aren't in the same league as the others, they never really make it far, and the judges are so brutal with them. The poor contestant is just asking to be ridiculed by signing up to be on the show. Now about the performance itself---I guess, Karrrina's awful hair last week wasn't' just the style for the dance---it's a bad perm. Who still gets a perm? Come on? Hey Harrrina---the chick from Flashdance called...she wants her hair back! As for Steve Whoa-zniak --that man is so weird...so so weird. He doesn't' even flinch when they tell him he STINKS. Stupid Bruno...I can smell your nasty BO from here!
Melissa and Tony-Don't give me that bull that dancing doesn't come easy for you. It so does and there is no shame in someone calling you a natural. I could have done without her face in Tony's crotch but whatever. I did notice they are always glitterifying her tramp stamp tattoo. Now that's classy stuff. Two 10's---wow..she did mess up a bit but I guess the difficulty alone was worth 10's. Very good dancing.
Holly and Dmitry--I think the pain you are feeling in your ribs might have something to do with the size of your chest. Just a thought! Sorry Holly---but it's time to go...you fell off the chair..while sitting on it???---oh dear. If you can't do that...you sure as heck can't do the dance. I'm also really over the constant giggling. I know that's how she deals with the negative feedback---but it really is like scratching a chalkboard.
Steve-O and Lacey---I'm surprised he's so stressed about a chaotic dance. He defines the word chaotic. I think the guy is going through withdrawals cause he's acting weirder and weirder by the minute! I did laugh at his --"Gosh, darn, dang it, golly gee, what the hey?" comment---that's definitely more family friendly than the beep beep beep beep from last week. The dance started okay but then got progressively worse and I noticed not one lift. I know his back is all tweaked but compared to the other couples...their dance was WEAK! Although, I did notice that there truly is only one Jackass on the show---he's short, he's mean, he's got a very thick accent, and he's gay. --Bruno strikes again. What a punk.
Oh I feel I need to mention that Tom was really on a roll with all the (pun definitely intended) "voice cracks" Samantha was experiencing. I think he's over her, too.
Gilles and Cheryl--I had to laugh when he said, "I feel I do have an advantage in this dance because I can act!" Showing your ding dong to the world doesn't make you an Oscar winner...just an Oscar Wiener! heh heh heh The dance was very good and I knew they would get all 10's. Cheryl was loving every minute of it.
Carrie Ann has entirely too many hot flashed during the show...hmmm payback for your "old cookie" comment perhaps?
Shawn and Mark--Boy oh boy---she gives a whole new meaning to the word THICK. I don't know why Mark was playing the nerd character again--didn't get it. And I must agree...although I loved watching her cool gymnastics...this is a DANCE competition...not a gymnastics meet...sorry...better luck next time.
Well, folks...hope you have a great week and that you enjoy the hit band Boys II Men tonight...(do you sense my sarcasm??)
Until then...keep dancing
Len-da
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